In the last week I:
Got bashed in the head with the door knob while bending over to pick up the paper as the very heavy door was swinging shut
Ate Lucky Charms for lunch once… okay, twice… ALRIGHT, dammit! Two bowls each time! God!
Ate a whole sleeve of Thin Mints in one sitting (well, um, five or six times)
Purchased, took home and installed a Wii over my lunch hour – allowing me no time to eat and resulting in one of the Thin Mint binges mentioned above
Humiliated myself in front of my kids trying to play the easiest game on aforementioned Wii
Ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie while watching Joan Rivers sell cupcakes on the Apprentice (Oh, right...like you haven’t done that!)
Abused nighttime cold medicine to the point that I now hide my addiction
Kept eating Dove Dark chocolates (they’re medicinal!) until I found a message I liked. (Are you seeing a pattern here?)
Dealt with a bizarre, guinea pig incontinence issue (do NOT ask!)
Actually considered getting a Mastiff or two zebra finches (I have no explanation for this)
Told my children if they didn’t stop fighting over the Wii, I would beat them to death with a rake. Yeah, they didn’t buy it either.
Actually considered lapsing into a coma as a way to finally get some rest.
What did you do?