Confessions of a NON-SHOPAHOLIC

With the release of the movie based on Sophie Kinsella's book, this blog post is, I suppose, ill-timed. Those of you whose hearts beat fast and respiration rates increase at the words 'Nordstroms' and 'everything on sale' will no doubt have a hard time relating to my tale of 'woe is me', but I'm sure there are people out there like me who--dare I say it--hate to shop.

For as long as I can remember, I have never experienced that 'high' I've heard associated with shopping. Maybe because I had a hard enough time putting a roof over our heads and food on the table as a divorced mum of four with very little discretionary income left over that has something to do with my attitude towards shopping. I also have some pretty 'tight' roots in my family tree system that might account for my, uh, fiscally conservative ways, as well. (I'm learning in my Psych classes that so much of who we are and what we do finds its origins in our environment, experiences, AND genetics. Cool, huh?)

Anyway, I had been putting off a shopping excursion for some time, so yesterday I decided to 'face my fears' and tackle the beast that shopping represents. I badly needed gray work slacks since the permanent marker explosion in the dryer some weeks ago and two of my off-spring also required a trip to the city for various items not available in our small town, so yesterday was the day.

It was sunny and warm for early March and I would much rather have been walking through the cemetery (my normal pedestrian haunt) than walking the malls, but one does what one has to do.

I'm somewhat of an organized shopper. I'm very regimented and sequential. (First we go here for this and this, then we go here, for this and this, then here, then here, then HOME.) For those 'seat of the pantsers' who love shopping, but prefer a more leisurely shopping experience, I can guarantee a shopping experience that even you would hate.

We left at 11 when my daughter got off work and I drove her to the trendy, second-hand store she loves to shop at. I checked the racks for gray slacks, hopeful I might find what I needed there and my quest would be over, but the only gray slacks they had were clearly meant to be worn by an anorexic dwarf so I left her there, instructing her to 'take her time' while reminding her of the other places on my 'to-go-to' list. My son and I walked next door to Target. I browsed the books and checked out the clothes racks for gray slacks. No luck.

Once my daughter was done, (she found two pairs of black work pants, the smartee pants!) we headed to the next place on the list, the eyeglass establishment where my son's glasses were purchased. He had his glasses repaired and adjusted and we left there and headed to the mall. I immediately headed to the women's department and started going through the slack racks in search of the infamous gray slacks.

I should explain about the pants. I wear a uniform of sorts and the gray has to be just the right color of gray. Not too light. Not too dark. And while I don't consider myself overly picky about clothes, when you wear something for a ten hour shift in a job with high visibility, you want it to look nice--and be comfortable while you're at it.

My first challenge in buying pants or jeans is the length. I'm fairly tall and I have fairly long legs. And I don't like high water slacks or slacks that ride up mid-calve when you sit down. But I don't like treading on my slacks when I walk either. The next challenge is finding the right cut. I require slacks with belt loops as I need to carry a portable police radio and phone on my belt. I also have this 'thing' about anything being tight around my waist. So my ideal pants ride just below the waist and have large enough belt loops for a regular sized belt to go through. Nothing out of the ordinary. Right?

You'd thought I was looking for au couture.

First off, most women's dressy slacks don't even have belt loops. If they do, they are itsy-bitsy ones I can barely get my pinky finger through. And the ones that do have loops? They ride so high on the waist they almost come to the bottom of my bra.

So not a good look for me.

I spent precious time in the fitting room trying on one style and size after another. And what is it with women's sizes? Why is it I can wear a size 8 in one style and turn around and not be able to get even one leg in a size 8 of another style?

I was about ready to give up hope when I spotted a pair of gray slacks on the end of a sales rack. The slacks featured belt loops, although they were big and wide and looked a little too 'girly' for security purposes. I tried them on. They fit like a dream!

I checked the price tag. They were fifty percent off! I actually felt my heart flutter.

Sold to the tall, tightass, picky blonde with the two traumatized teens who will never again ask her to take them shopping.

Wow! A shopping day I actually didn't hate! Who knew?

To celebrate, I treated myself to a quick stop at the bookstore and then hopped over to check out the used bookstore. I was thrilled to find two Victoria Holt books to replace the ones from my collection lost in a flood last year.

You wanna know what time we got back home? Three-twenty P.M.

Now that is a true confession of one NON-SHOPAHOLIC.

So, anyone else out there have similar 'tudes about shopping? For those of you who can 'shop 'til you drop' how in the heck do you do it? What makes a shopping trip a success or, conversely, a failure? How often do you shop? Is the present economy having an effect on your shopping habits? If so, how are you coping? I

It's the day to dish on shopping addictions/phobias so dish away!

~Bullet Hole Bacus~

P.S. Get well, Les!