The quintessential differences between the men we love and the men about whom we love to write and read.
Why did you put the empty carton back in the fridge?
Hero said: To remind myself to buy more milk when I go grocery shopping. You’ve had a long week so I figured I’d take care of it this weekend.
He said: To remind you we need more milk.
Does this [insert comically unflattering article of clothing/shade of makeup/style of hair] make my [insert least favorite body part or feature] look [too big/too small/fat/slopey/droopy/dull/flat/frizzy/like that woman across the street/actress I hate/frenemy from the junior league]?
Hero said: Not at all. Even if it did, you are perfect in your imperfections and that is why I love you.
He said: Ummm...yeah. I mean...I mean...kinda.
I don’t know…should I have the filet or the lobster?
Hero said: I’ll order the filet, you order the lobster; we’ll have both.
He said: Is the salad an option?
30! 3.0. Ugh!
Hero said: Think of it this way -- you’re beyond all the gross insecurities and uncertainty that plagued your late teens and twenties. You’re at an age where you’re coming into yourself. Aware and finally ready to enjoy life.
He said: Yep, it’s all down hill from here.
How do I look?
Hero said: Great/beautiful/sexy/gorgeous/Wow. Just…wow!
He said: Fine.
*sniffle* *weep* *cry*
Hero said: Want a hug?
He said: That time of the month?
We need to talk.
Hero said: Of course. Let’s talk.
He said: [audible sigh] Again?
Wanna snuggle?
Hero said: Seriously? Love to.
He said: Seriously? Is it Sunday? Already?
Oh, and abs. Heroes have six packs, Honeys have kegs. More to love, right?
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13 comments:
Bethany, I loved your post! Between laughs I was nodding yes to each one. :)
LOL! Great post, Bethany!
Great post. Thanks for the laugh.
Crime Scene Christie
*snork*
So true.
~Gemma
Love the post, but I don't think they make men like that. I have never seen one myself. But it would be great.
LOL So true! There's also a difference between dating man and married man. When we were first going out, my husband-to-be Jim gave the most amazing foot rubs. He enjoyed making me feel better after a long day. Fast forward to married Jim, who (after avoiding many foot rubs) finally confessed to me that he can't stand feet.
Ah, romance!
Too funny!
And Angie - love the image of your hubby happily giving you foot rubs as he cringes inside!!
Too true.
Angie - the image of pre-marriage and marriage is also, so true. :-)
Love it. It is so true. Good post.
LOL!
Great post... very funny!
I could not stop laughing. I love posts that are funny!
Ain't it the truth, Bethany? No wonder all our heroes are fictional.
And Angie, your foot rub story is hilarious. Thanks for sharing that slice of married life! Hehe.
~Kathy~
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