Five Books That Changed My Life (and What They Taught Me)

Raise your hand if you're kind of sick of all the lists of books that you "must read!" before you die. You know, the ones that begin with Joyce and end with Rand and have all matters of men in between. I’ve read most of them. And, yes, tightly written and profound and important and blah blah blah…

However.

When I sit down to think about the books that I’ve read no fewer than 50 times, the books that I will pass down to my child(ren), the books that I can recommend to every girl born in this country? Well, fewer make the cut.

…and they aren’t what you’d think.

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Judith Viorst

The original is always the best, no? Perpetually disgruntled Alexander helped me understand at a very young age that a day that begins with bad hair is presage of a day filled with unfortunate events. These days when I wake up with most uncooperative hair, I hide under the blankets. Life lesson: Yes, some days just suck the life out of you. And hooray to Judy for not being afraid to let a five year old know that. But more importantly? Eventually those days end and, as if by necessary, there is a better one to follow.

However, when I look at my Discover card billing statement sometimes I think I should have read Alexander, Who Used to be Rich Last Sunday a few more times.

Ramona Quimby, Age 8
Beverly Cleary

What little girl can’t identify with Ramona? Constantly in the shadow of the savvy of my big sister or upstaged by the adorableness of my little sister, I wholly identified with Ramona. And being 8 is wonderful. It is the first time in her life that a little girl feels…knowing. I could read novel length books now (the Ramona series being my favorite). I knew enough math to buy stuff at the grocery store by myself. It is the earliest age I can remember making my own decisions. Which doll I wanted, what clothes I thought were cool, what televisions shows I liked. There’s just an awareness and discovery that happens in the ‘tweens that is grossly underrated compared to one’s teens.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret
Judy Blume

I still revisit this book at least once a year. I’ve been 5 year old Alexander. I’ve been 8 year old Ramona. But to some extent I think I’m still 12 year old Margaret. Also raised in a religiously divided household, to this day there are questions that challenge my mores and when they do I can’t think of a more perfect way to address them than as did Margaret. Just ask.

Beyond that, as with most Blume books, we are given a realistic and charming picture of the coming of age for a young girl: buying the first bra, waiting and waiting and waiting and anticipating and waiting for your period, how…different you feel when you finally get it – and, an odd conundrum, how you don’t feel that different at all, and, of course, boys! Lovely, lovely, lovely boys.

Anything by William Faulkner.

Okay. So I cheated; this isn’t one book. I can’t name just one and I can’t say that just one is right for every person. I can only say that the man was a master storyteller. While he might have greater appeal to Southern readers and writers, I’d argue that in some way, shape or form all of us were raised in a Yoknapatawpha County; be it a multi floor tenant building in the heart of Harlem, a small town in the middle of amber waves, or a pristine Bel Air neighborhood surrounded by glitterati and gates. Faulkner peels back the blanket and closely examines the every socio-political stretch mark that rippled our nation as it grew. As I’ve made my way through is catalog (several times over now) I’ve come to realize that they aren’t just scars, they are beauty marks.

Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
Harriet Jacobs

The harsh realities of living as a slave and the triumph of escaping. It is a tale I’ve heard told, certainly. But that one woman had the courage to write it down is amazing in and of itself. Every now and then when I’m hosting a Bethany Pity Party, I need read only a few pages to remind myself just how fortunate I am in all that I have. This narrative is a legacy for all women and if you don’t buy, beg or borrow any other book on my list, please enjoy this one.

Now it’s your turn: What books changed your life?