Killer Fiction

Winner!  Winner!  We have a winner!!  Congrats to Brandy for winning an ARC for Blame it on Texas!  Contact me at Christie (at) Christie-Craig (dot) com to claim your prize.

A Fairytale, a Family Tradition, a Little Innocent Potty Humor, and a Three Year Old’s Laughter

Contest!  Contest!  Today, I’m giving away my first ARC to one lucky person who leaves a comment.

In a land far, far away, Prince Aa-choo searched for his princess, the love of his life.  Oh, how he longed to find that beautiful maiden who could laugh with him and who could love him in spite of his one BIG flaw— his frequent and extremely loud sneezes—sneezes so loud, the rest of the kingdom would run for cover, certain the sky would be falling soon.  Oh, he tried to keep the noise level of his sneezes down, but the need to sneeze would come on so fast, that he had no time to think of trying to quiet the noise.  Why, he barely had time to cover his nose.  Having a tissue in hands at all time was a must.

Prince Aa-choo met many beautiful maidens in his search for true love.  But after one sneeze too many, each girl would run from the castle complaining that his sneezes were downright frightening to hear and too much to bare.  It was almost enough to break the prince's heart.

Then after months of searching, of being lonely, he heard a wizard telling a story of a poor maiden in a land many miles from his kingdom.  What really intrigued Prince Aa-choos was that this maiden had been cursed with the inability to sneeze.   Oh, the inside of her nose would tickle and she could feel the sneeze at the tip of her nose, but then she just couldn’t follow through. 

Instantly, the prince had a thought.  What better person to understand his flaw than a princess who longed to sneeze?  So he packed his bags, readied his carriage, and off he went to find his sneeze-less maiden, whom he was certain would become his princess bride. 

After long days of traveling, he came upon her village.  It was late, but the prince could not wait until morning.  So he quietly climbed the tower to her room where she slept.  He walked over to her bed and gazed down at her. She was so beautiful he feared she could never love a sneezing man like himself.  But without thinking he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.  The collar of his shirt was covered in fur, and as he kissed her, the fur brushed across the end of her nose, and she drew in a big breath and then . . . and then she did the impossible.  She sneezed.  What's more, she sneezed all over the prince!  Covered him in boogers.

She woke up, startled by the prince’s presence in her chambers, but so happy that she had actually sneezed, she hugged him, and when she did, she sneezed again.  Then the prince sneezed and it was so loud it shook the walls of her tower.   They both started laughing.  They lived happily ever after and had children who could always sneeze.  And could sneeze as loud as they needed to.

The End.

Okay…I know that was a stretch from my regular blogs, but you see, hubby and I had our three-year-old granddaughter staying with us this weekend.  And my granddaughter, knowing her grandmother is a storyteller, is always saying, “Mawmaw, tell me a story.  Please, just one more.” 

Funny thing is, I may be the first published writer in my family, but being from Alabama, part of that Southern culture and my heritage involves storytelling.  Oh, the stories my family would tell around the kitchen table.  I can still remember asking my grandfather to tell me about the mean rooster he accidentally killed with his sling shot. 

Part of me, when I’m telling crazy stories—stories that instill laughter from my fairytale-loving granddaughter—knows that I’m carrying on a family tradition.  One that I’m sure began even before my grandfather started talking about mean roosters.   

Oh, I know the story of Prince Aa-Choo may not be one of my best works, but you see, Pawpaw, my hubby, is a champion loud sneezer.  When his granddaughter heard him sneeze while he was downstairs, and she was upstairs, she found it very humorous.   And then that evening, when the Little Wonder insisted grandma tell her a story. . .  Well, the story of Prince Aa-Choo just came into being.

And no matter how silly it was, that Little Wonder laughed with delight at my story.  Her love of princesses, her love of grandpa and his loud, thunderous sneezes, and her inherited love of potty humor from her grandma, all came together in one story.  And I have a feeling that someday down the line, she’ll look at her own granddaughter and start a story that begins, “In a land far, far way . . .”

So, now you know what I did this weekend.  What did you guys do?  Any stories or fairytales to tell?  And today, in honor of my next release, Blame it on Texas, a story that has love, laughter, and a little potty humor, I’m giving away my first ARC.  So make sure you leave a comment.

Mawmaw . . . Or AKA, Crime Scene Christie