Monday, February 13, 2012

LOVE IS SCARY! by Diane Kelly

I was driving in Fort Worth the other day and happened to pass the Hangman’s House of Horrors, a former meatpacking plant that is turned into a haunted house each Halloween. The building sported a huge banner that read “Open for Valentine’s Day.” I found myself chuckling at the very idea. A haunted house on what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year? Yeah, right. Because nothing says “love” like a traipse through an old factory full of dismembered body parts and crazy rednecks terrorizing you with a chainsaw.

But then I realized that maybe they were on to something. Love is actually scary, isn’t it? Love makes a person vulnerable. It’s terrifying to give our hearts to someone, to trust them not to toy with it or trample on it or betray it. And when it comes to settling down, to picking a partner for life, it can be frightening to wonder whether we are making the right choice.

When I think back to when my husband and I became serious about each other all those years ago, I recall the things that drew me to him. He seemed to understand me in a way no one else ever had, and he accepted me for who I am, tolerating my many flaws, irritating habits, and idiosyncrasies without suggesting I should work to change myself. He had a cat, which meant he was caring and compassionate, not a macho sh*thead. He had an understated but warped sense of humor, too, which I found to be a lot of fun. He drove a Toyota Tercel sporting a bumper sticker that read “You may not remember me, but I’m wearing your underwear.” How could I not fall for him?

But the biggest factor that told me back then that he was THE ONE was that the thought of spending the rest of my life with him didn’t cause me to suffer an anxiety attack. With my previous boyfriends, I knew deep in my heart that things could never last, at least not happily. I’d tire of them or they’d tire of me. There were things about them I couldn’t live with long term and/or things about me I knew they wouldn’t be able to live with.

Did any of you have the same experience? What made you know your partner was THE ONE? What is the most scary thing to you about falling in love?

DEATH, TAXES, AND A SKINNY NO-WHIP LATTE, book #2 in Diane's Death and Taxes Series, will be released on March 1st! Book #1, DEATH, TAXES, AND A FRENCH MANICURE, is in bookstores now and is currently only $2.99 in digit format!


Brandy said...

I met my husband and just knew. Something about the way he looked at me, at the way he smiled at me besides hormones. Like he knew/thought I was special.
The scariest thing about falling in love and staying in love is trust. You have to trust blindly that that person is going to be there for you, that you'll be a team together for the rest of your lives.

Diane Kelly said...

Trust is a scary thing! Life can throw so many curve balls at a couple.

I love your story! It's true that a relationship isn't only about how we feel about the other person, but how they make us feel about ourselves, too. Sounds like you definitely found a keeper!