Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Leslie Langtry is an Idiot.


I saw on the news today that this symbol, from your car's dashboard is considered Idiot Proof - translation: Any Idiot can look at this and know immediately what is wrong with their car. And I didn't come up with the phrase "Idiot Proof." The automobile industry did.


I now consider myself lower than an Idiot - because I had to look it up.


To me, this whatever-the-hell-it-is could be anything. Here's what I think it looks like:
  • Your belly is exclaiming! See how the bottom looks like boxer shorts and the curves upward of the tummy? The exclamation point means danger by diarhea, gas or impending disembowelment by Nazi zombies in Norway. (BTW - saw a funny movie this weekend about Nazi zombies in Norway...) When you see this light, pull over and find a bathroom or chain saw.

  • Your steering wheel is about to explode. Now, I didn't realize that steering wheels could explode, but the closest thing this symbol looks like in my car, is the steering wheel. So that must mean it is filled with explosives. If you see this light, just jump out of the car. Aiming it at a lake or something safe would be nice.

  • The vase is trembling because some bitchy soprano is hitting the high notes. To me, this one seems like the most logical answer. If you see this light, throw the soprano out of the car. If this glass-shattering sound is coming from your cd player...well, even I can't help you there.

  • The plumber's ass-crack is exposed. Sort of along the same lines as the boxer shorts in the first theory, only on the other side. And he's hula dancing at the same time - as demostrated by the broken lines on either side. Now, I don't really know why a plumber would be bending over inside your car. But if one is, you don't need a light to tell you something is wrong.

I think I've proven that the auto industry should go back to the drawing board on this one. What is it?

It means your tire pressure is low. No, seriously, that's what the news said. I know. I KNOW, right?

What do you think it looks like?

The Assassin

22 comments:

krisgils33 said...

I couldn't stop focusing on the "idiot proof" aspect of it. there are some pretty stupid people out there, so I think it is a pretty false claim to say something is idiot-proof. I had no clue what it meant either.

Leslie Langtry said...

No matter how I look at it, I don't see a tire in need of air.

TerriOsburn said...

I read the article because I didn't know what the symbol meant either. As soon as they said, "the outside is a tire" I knew, but if they have to tell me that, then I think the idiot proof aspect goes out the window.

It kind of looks like a face with the eyes being out of frame. Like your car has a really long nose and the "O" shape of the mouth means your car is having a personal moment. Auto-gasm?

Zita said...

Well, now that you've told us, I see it, but really...when I first sawa it I thought that the pot was boiling over. From where you make KD on your engine. Like the commercial. =)

Leslie Langtry said...

So, what happens during a "cargasm?" Does the car shudder, whine and temporarily shut off? Does it expell fluids?

Leslie Langtry said...

Zita, you are right! I see the pot now! Seriously car folk! We are not Idiots!

MsHellion said...

THAT'S what that means? No idea.

Of course, now that you SAY that, it does look like the pressure gauge that you'd use to check your tires with. Huh.

I already knew I was an idiot though.

MsHellion said...

I don't think it looks like a flat tire, unless we're playing pictionary and some jackass drew it in 3 seconds. Which come to think of the auto industry, they probably did arrive at this idiot picture in 3 seconds during a round a pictionary. Dumbasses.

TerriOsburn said...

Maybe cargasms without protection is how we got those little smart cars.

Bookmobiler said...

I now consider myself lower than an Idiot - because I had to look it up.

Actually you are not. Idiots or lower wouldn't have looked it up.
They wouldn't have wanted to admit their ignorance.

That being said "Idiot Proof" is an oxymoron.

Idiots have been finding their way around safety warnings since God told Adam and Eve not to eat the fruit of the Tree!

Leslie Langtry said...

Hellie, I like the idea of corporate auto execs sitting around playing Pictionary to come up with the symbols on the dash. Sounds like something I would write.

Leslie Langtry said...

Terri, Now we've opened up a bizarre dialog on auto sex. Auto Erotic Fixation? I do think the smart cars are their offspring. Hell, my little hatchback in college was the offspring of my folks' Oldsmobile and Ford Fairmont.

Leslie Langtry said...

You know what, Bookmobiler? You are absolutely right! At least, it makes me feel better to think you are.

catslady said...

Only a man could have made that picture and think it was idiot proof. Thanks for the laughs!!!

Jenifer said...

My husband showed me this yesterday and asked me what I thought it meant, not telling me it was a car warning symbol or any of the accompanying story. My response? "It's a warning that your crack is showing."

TerriOsburn said...

I've known some guys with an Auto Erotic Fixation.

Now that I look at it again, it could be a sign outside the entrance to a tunnel warning drivers they could find a surprise on the other side.

Leslie Langtry said...

Jennifer! You have vindicated me!
And I agree, a man came up with this.

Leslie Langtry said...

Teri, what KIND of surprise???

Jana DeLeon said...

I still say it's looks like a butt.

Leslie Langtry said...

Yes, Jana, yes it does...

Tori Lennox said...

I think it looks kind of obscene.

TerriOsburn said...

If they told us, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?