Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Unusual Texas Laws













I’m not a Texan. Well, not born or bred here, but I do live in this fine state and I’m Texas proud. Yup, proud to be a part of a community of law-abiding, blue-bonnet loving, cowboy-boot wearing citizens. And I try to follow the laws of this fine state. But admittedly, I have slipped up. And on occasion, I will just check and make sure I’m following the regulations. Recently, during my search of Texas law, I came across some interesting and shall I say unusual laws. And I just thought I’d share. I mean, in case you ever come to Texas, you need to know these things.

Some Unusual Texas Laws:

1) It’s illegal to sell one’s eyes. (Now, I don’t much see a problem with this law, do you? But how the heck did it ever become a law? Did someone post their baby blues on Craig's list?)


2) It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. (But if you sit down it’s okay, right?)

3) Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos. (Hmmm? How do they know if someone owns more than six? Do they need to be registered? Are permits required?)

4) It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. (Damn, I didn’t know that. But you can bet the next time I see a buffalo out of a second story hotel building I won't try to shoot it.)

5) It is illegal to milk another person’s cow. (Oh, crappers, I hope they don’t come after me.)

6) A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. (Are you kidding me? Can’t we change it to 36 hours?)

7) It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing. (Mashing what? Potatoes…mosquitoes?)

8) It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. (This one plum stumps me.)

9) One needs permission from the director of parks and recreation before getting drunk in any city park. (Hmmm. If permission is received, can a person then drink three sips of beer at a time while standing up?)

10) No person shall throw trash from an airplane. (Wow, I'll be careful next time I'm in a plane not to just toss my peanut or prezel bag out the window.)

11) Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday. (I think someone had too many beers when he wrote that one.)

12) It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday. (Stumped again. But maybe it has something to do with law number 16.)

13) It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts. (This is why I wish I’d been raised in Texas.)

14) Any person who sits on a sidewalk may be fined up to $500. (Does it count if the person just trips and falls?)

15) It is now illegal to place a “for sale” sign on a car if it visible from the street. (Say what? I mean, if it’s not seen from the street, why would you put the sign on there?)

16) In Port Arthur, obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. (Can anyone tell me who I need to see about getting this law put into effect in all of Texas?)


Okay…so there you have it. Just in case you visit my fine state of Texas, I want you to know how you should behave. So, any fine laws in your community? Have you broken any these above laws? I have broken at least four, but I’m not telling which ones.

24 comments:

Zita said...

I haven't broken any of those laws...while I was in Texas, anyway :-). In my hometown of Winnipeg, all the stores along Portage and Main are legally required to have a hitching post in front of their store. O.o

krisgils33 said...

please tell me you made those up!!!

Christie Craig said...

Zita,

Hitching posts, huh? Too funny.

I love hearing these.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Krisgils33,

I swear I didn't make those up. So you'd better be careful walking the fine streets of Texas.

CC

Nancy Kay Bowden said...

I always forget how hard it is to be a law abiding citizen in Texas! Thanks for rounding those up, Christie! Happy writing!

Sandy said...

LOL So funny, Christie. Loved your comments too.

All states have laws that are outdated. I should check our state out.

MsHellion said...

It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

But what about the third story? Is it legal then?

Robin_Badillo said...

Strangely, I already knew about the shooting of a buffalo law, but now I am fully informed regarding the others now, too. Thank you for the public service announcement. More citizens should look out for our State and it's inhabitants.
I'd buy you a beer, but I'm sure there is some law about two grown women sharing a brew on a weekday, before three o'clock, over the internet, wearing pajamas. Oh well! LOL!!

Christie Craig said...

Hi Nancy,

Yup, it's hard to live in this fine state. Thanks for stopping by. Happy writing to you, too.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Sandy,

Yes, you should look them up. They are pretty easy to find when you google. I love google.

Have a great day and thanks for stopping in.

CC

Christie Craig said...

MsHellion,

I think this is a question you should ask your lawyer. Personally however, to make sure you're safe, I might go up to the fifth floor. LOL. Thanks for dropping by.

CC

jbrayweber said...

Not surprisingly, I have broken a couple of those laws and many, many more. Did you know that it is illegal to "Cling to a moving vehicle"? Yep, it's true. I have the citation to prove it.

Jenn!

Christie Craig said...

Robin,

Hey...we gotta look out for each other. And since I've already broken a few of the other laws, I saw let's take a chance and have a drink...but can I make mine a glass of Merlot? Or maybe a chocolate martini. Oh, yeah, martini it is.

Thanks for stopping by.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Okay...Jenn,

This is one story I really have to hear!!! LOL. Why do you not surprise me?

CC

Loretta said...

Well, I came here as usual to get my morning laugh, along with my coffee, and wasn't disppointed:)

I would say where the heck did you get this stuff, but that's a little inane isn't it? I can tell the research was extensive, exhaustive, and probably googlicious...(that's a new word,tried looking it up, doesn't exist yet..someone will steal it I'm sure:)

Great job Christy, and I am NOT sharing how many of these things "I've" violated...god knows which ones people would pick:)

Lo

Suzan Harden said...

Did someone say chocolate martinis?

Christie Craig said...

Loretta,

I love googlicious and I love knowing I gave you a chucile. And girl, I can imagine which of the laws you've broken.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Suzan,

Oh, yeah, I said it. We need a martini meet soon. Very, very soon. Oh, I got the crazy erasers. I'm not sure which is the funniest, the toliet plunger or the pile of $#it.

Thanks...

CC

Michele Benard said...

Here are some of the dumb FL laws I found

The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.

One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.

Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.

Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.

Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.Why does this law exist?

It is illegal to sell your children.

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking
fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.m.

It is considered an offense to shower naked.

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Oral sex is illegal.

You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

Christie Craig said...

Michele,
All I'm gonna say is I'm glad to be a Texan. Come on! What do you mean I can't sell my children!! LOL.

I love 'em. Thanks for the laugh and I will be extra careful when I go to Florida.

CC

Tori Lennox said...

Wow! It's darn lucky for me I never accidentally broke any of those laws when I lived in Texas!

Some dumb laws here in Arkansas:

1. The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. (Does it get a ticket if it does?)

2. Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. (But the swimming pool is apparently okay.)

3. In Little Rock, honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law.

4. Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. (Some of those prudes from Texas must be related to the prudes here!)

5. Also in Little Rock, it's unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

MiaMarlowe said...

FYI, it's illegal to rollerskate down the street in Massachusetts. I have however seen people skateboarding through traffic.

Thornton Wilder was right. "Whenever you come near the human race, there's layers and layers of nonsense."

Christie Craig said...

Tori,

Too funny. Those darn prudes take all the fun out of life. And I'll make sure to keep my cows off main street when I'm in Arkansas. LOL.

Thanks for sharing.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Mia,

Those are different types of wheels, don't you know that? LOL. Don't you just love looking at the laws and wondering what people were thinking when they called that the law.

Thanks so much for stopping in.

CC