Conference Daze

You know that look you see in someone’s eyes? The one that says, lights are on but nobody is home and they may not be back for a long, long time? The look that when you say something to someone they don’t just stare at you as if they don’t speak English, they stare right through you, as if you aren’t even real. Well, I got that look. Seriously people, stick a fork in me, I’m done. Well, done until tomorrow.

Ahh, but I had a blast! We’re talking rooming with two writing buddies, laughing and chatting into the wee hours of the morning. Do you know everything seems funny at one in the morning? One of those roommates was a Golden Heart Finalist. Even though she didn’t win the GH, I just know she’s gonna sell that book.

Conferences are the best place to meet and mingle. I’m talking lunch with old friends, lunch with new friends and fans. Thank you, Kara, a teacher from Arkansas, who came to see several writers at the book signing. Also in the picture is Faye Hughes, the woman who stole my pillow!

The conference was filled with good times, as in ice cream with writing buddies—Caramel cappuccino with hot fudge—buddies who talked with funny accents and who had close relationship with their cheese fries. (Meaning, don’t try and steal one off the plate if you want to keep your fingers.) But hey, they did share their onion rings. However, I’m not going to say much about their accents, or love of cheese fries, because they are my witnesses that I did NOT pull the fire alarm. I know, you’ve all heard that Faye thinks I do this just to get her to exercise by walking down the stairs, but even if our floor was the only floor that got evacuated, I swear I was innocent and Stacy and Donna should be able to vouch for me—in funny accents, of course.

Oh, I also went to parties. We’re talking sushi and karaoke with my agent and her other clients. No raw fish for me, thank you, I made sure my appetizers were cooked. You see, I’m from Alabama and my people invented fire for a reason. And I’m told on the same day we invented Crisco. I mean, we’ll eat anything deep fried. Why, back home I was schooled on how to make any living thing--snake, squirrel, and pigeon taste like chicken. However, I enjoyed the BookEnds party and most of the appetizers. I enjoyed the edamame, but I would have enjoyed them more if someone had told me I wasn’t supposed to eat the pod. Let’s just say I got plenty of fiber and leave it at that. Ahh, but I wasn’t the only one. The writer sitting across from me did the same thing. You should have seen the looks we were trying not to give each other as we managed to swallow those pods.

Now, I didn’t sing. After you swallow an edamame pod, the throat is a little scratchy. Ahh, but seriously, I love to sing, unfortunately not very many people love to hear me sing. Have you ever been thrown out of a church choir? I have.



















Nevertheless, my agent, Kim Lionetti, and Jessica Faust were two brave souls and they had their turn at the microphone. I’m sure they will be receiving voice contracts soon. Even if they don’t roll in, I didn’t see my ol’ choir director having a chat with them.

Faye and I with the help of agent Kim Lionetti and editor Rose Hilliard, did a workshop. I think we did okay. I told everyone the mattress story, I got a few giggles, and at the end I gave everyone a peek at my thousands of rejections. Well, all of them except the ones that my cat tiddled on. I keep them in a separate envelope. Funny thing was, I left Houston and forgot to bring those rejections with me, even though our workshop was about surviving rejections. I had to pay to get those suckers overnighted to Disney. Seriously people, I didn’t like receiving those rejections the first go round, and paying to receive them a second time just felt wrong. Ahh, but I did it because I really think other writers need to know that we’re all rejected and we should never give up. Even when it seems tough, when you think you’ll never accomplish it. That’s sort of how I felt when I was trying to chew up that edamame pod.

Then there’s the roll thief. At one of the luncheons my writing partner was having lunch at a table with other writers. She was feeling rather ravenous, and had just buttered her roll up, the last roll in the basket, and had only eaten a few bites, when the woman sitting beside her reached over and took the roll off Faye’s bread plate and proceeded to eat it. I’m so proud of Faye for not calling the woman on the roll thievery. She’s a better person than I am, because I didn’t let her get by with stealing my pillow. However, you should have seen her at all the rest of the dinners, she kept as close an eye on her roll as some people did their cheese fries. I’m joking about the cheese fries, I’ll bet Donna would have shared if I’d asked, but the way she was holding her fork sort of scared me. I think it was the same look I gave Faye when she stole my pillow!

I woke up every morning at the conference in a state of wonder. I wondered what pair of shoes I was going to allow the pleasure of torturing my feet that day. Can you say Band-Aids? Personally, I think they should sell knee-highs make out of Band-Aids. Hey…don’t anyone steal that idea, I invented it first.

Ahh, but guys, the conference was so wonderful. I got to thank Susan Andersen in person for her wonderful book quote that Dorchester put on the cover of Shut Up and Kiss Me. I got to shake hands with Christie Ridgway and Susan Elisabeth Phillips. Do you think some of their talent will rub off on me? Linda Howard and Beverly Barton, Alabama gals who I’m sure can also deep fry anything and make it taste like Chicken too, actually gave me a hug. I’m sure I became a better writer instantly.

I partied it up with Ruth Kenjura at my chapter’s annual Friday night wine and cheese get-together. Met a lot of great gals, too. Overall, the conference was a big success. Had a lot of laughs, got a lot of hugs, and shook a lot of great writers’ hands. So here’s to the writing buddies, and to friendships.

So what did you do this week? Any news to share? Books that can’t be missed? Come on share a little.

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