Mum's The Word...

Before I begin, I have to explain the above photo. You see, my mother has decided that all my blogging about the outdoors have made me appear too boyish. We were at a wedding in Chicago and she took this picture with the explicit demand that I post it so people would know I didn't spend all my time rolling in the mud, flinging knives and swinging from ropes (she's exaggerating - I don't spend ALL my time doing those things...sometimes I sleep). I posted this photo because I'm afraid of my mother. If you read my books, you'd know that she is Carolina Bombay.

Now that I think of it, I guess my mom really plays a prominent role in my books (and apparently, my blog). Book Three - STAND BY YOUR HITMAN - has my mother as both Carolina Bombay and as her sister, Missi's mother - California (Cali) Bombay. Why did I feel the need to put her in two characters? Well, one reason is because I CAN (yes, I'm sticking my tongue out) and the other reason is because both women, at various times in my life, are my mother.

For example, before I met my husband, my mother was constantly trying to fix me up (if you are 1) a woman and 2) have a mother - you know exactly what I mean). I included a little nod to that wonderful (and in no way, frustrating) time in my life in Book Three as Missi is sent to participate in a cheap, Canadian knock-off of Survivor called Survival in order to stalk a Vic. Cali believes Missi (widowed and 45) should use this as an opportunity to find a man. Here's an excerpt:

“Sorry, babe,” Mom said in a sing-songy voice. “A job’s a job. Oh! I knitted you a knapsack to take. Send the boys over for it, will you?” And then, she hung up on me. Yes, my own mother.

To say that panic had set in would be unfair. I was on the edge of full-blown mass hysteria. I started to pace back and forth while my children calmly watched me rant like a lunatic.

“I can’t do this! There’s no way I’ll be ready in time! And why do I have to fly to Canada just to come back down here to Costa Rica? That would at least buy me a day or two! Who are these people? If I kill the producer would they drop the show?”

“It says here that you are a homemaker from Texas,” Jack said quietly. In spite of his mischievous nature he knew when to avoid a joke at my expense.

“What?” I spun on my heel.

He sighed as if having to deal with me was some sort of chore. “You’re a homemaker from Texas. Widowed. You went to college on a bowling scholarship and in your free time like to cook, decorate and long to find another man to take care of.”

“Bowling scholarship?” Monty asked, missing the point entirely.

“Give me that!” I ripped the page from my son. Yup. That’s what it said, alright. Where in the hell did they get that? I can’t cook, and decorating the condo damn near killed me. Mom! She must have written this. I’ll kill her!

“You can’t bowl!” Monty informed me.

I pointed at the door. “Go upstairs and tell Grandma I’m NOT going!”

A few minutes later, my son returned with the bag and a note from Mom that read, Hope you like the bag, honey. Be sure to get waxed before you go. Can’t get a man if you’re hairy like a monkey. The tote bag she knitted for me said Hot to Trot. Get Me While I’m Hot.

If she weren’t my mother, I’d kill her.

My sister, Jenny, is also featured rather prominently in the same book. The character of Sami, a sweet, but foul-mouthed electrician is based entirely on her. You might think that sounds weird but I consider it a loving tribute. Jenny is, in fact, an electrician and let's just say that her usual pet names for us run from the affectionate "Dumbass" (usually reserved for holidays and special occaisions) to the creative "Buttdart" (more commonly used in text messages, when shopping, or introducing her to important people).

Here's an introduction to Sami, based on her introduction to the other contestants on Survival;

“Hell. My name’s Sami. And don’t any of you assholes even think of calling me Samantha.”

I realized that from here on out, virtually everything Sami said would be bleeped.

I'm curious - does anyone else do this...or is it just me? Let me know if you use your family for characters in your writing. After all, I may need a new family after my mom and sister read this.

The Assassin