Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Leslie Langtry - Army of One

GOOD MORNING, MR. PHELPS...Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is;
I’m going to be adding a fun new page to my website, Langtry’s Larcenist Lines. I thought it would be lots of fun to let you, my adoring fans, suggest a scene from Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy from a secondary character’s point of view. Was there something you thought I should have added, a scene you felt I didn’t elaborate on enough, something you’re dying to know? Suggest it! To make it even more fun I’m going to let you decide which secondary characters tells the scene. Who’s voice would you like to hear? Romi’s, Carolina’s, Uncle Lou or Grandma Mary? You decide!

Here’s how this will work:
Email your suggestion to: Include the scene you would like and the secondary character you would like to tell the scene. Both the scene and the character must be from my first book, ‘Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy. You have two weeks to send in your suggestion. On June 18 we’ll provide a list of the suggestions and let everyone vote for their favorite. Voting will last two weeks, until June 30.


For some people, turning 40 means stepping back, reflecting on your life, relaxing, taking time to stop and smell the roses.

Apparently, I didn't get the memo. You can't see it because mud dries lighter than it is when originally rolled in and the bruises haven't begun to turn the colors of a tequila sunrise, but I had a rough day yesterday. Hell, I've had a rough month. Now, when I say rough, I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean rough as in rugged.

In the last two weeks alone, I've learned how to swamp a canoe and rescue those who've been swamped; camped for a weekend, thrown 20 girls down a zipline in the forrest; fired a black powder musket and yesterday I ran an obstacle course that would've made a Marine proud.

When Leslie turns 40, she apparently means cram all the activity she hasn't done in 40 years into one month. Some people buy a Mustang convertible for their mid-life crisis. Apparently, I try to kill myself.

Still, if offers me some perspective. Yesterday was Ropes Course training day at Girl Scout camp and I managed to clear an 8ft. high wall, make it through a tire suspended 3 feet over the ground without touching said tire, swung on a rope across an imaginary canyon, tightrope-walk a thin metal cable in hiking boots - all done in the rain and mud.

And I couldn't be prouder.

This may be because my alfredo-clogged arteries didn't rise up and smite me with a heart attack, or because when I was 20 I didn't even do these things.

Someone told me last weekend that in a family, if the mother is into outdoors activities, the girls are 80% likely to love the outdoors as well. But if only the father is an outdoorsman, girls in the family are only 20% likely to be active outdoors. In my family, both parents thought "roughing it" was staying at a hotel with an outdoor pool. So, I didn't do stuff like that.

Obviously, this is my mid-life rebellion. And I couldn't be happier. I look at it as a sort of sadistic spa treatment. After all, the work-out is like a hardcore Swedish massage and all that mud is probably good for my skin. Right?

In retrospect, I probably should've paced myself. Doing all of the above in less than a month is pretty exhausting. On the other hand, by some miracle worthy of any religion, I survived. Surely that's worth something. Isn't it?

"The Assassin"


Terri Osburn said...

Of course that's worth something. I'm exhausted just reading this. But then, I'm extremely out of shape.

Like you, my parents did NOTHING outdoors. I played softball and that's it. Never camped, hiked, canoed, climbed, repelled, or scaled a thing. But sometimes I think I'd like to try. Well, my knees couldn't withstand most of that, but surely I could find a nice nature trail I could walk?

Congrats on the birthday! And I'll by thinking about that scene. I love getting different character's POV's. I'm nosey that way. LOL!

Sin said...

My parents weren't much outdoorsy people. Both of them are construction workers so at the end of the day, all they could think about was sitting in the A/C and drinking a beer. I, on the other hand, grew up loving outside. I played outside as much as I could. I hated winter as a kid because that meant someone would try to keep you inside.

But camping? Canoeing? Rock climbing? (Well okay, I will admit to scaling rocks in the woods to peek on the neighbor boys, but I'm not sure this counts), we didn't do much of that. Fishing at Mark Twain, or Thomas Hill? Yes. My grandparents bought an old school bus and converted it into a camper. Like the partridge family for poor people. LOL

Leslie, you're a rock babe. I'm exhausted. Even half that stuff would make me fall over in a panting heap of fat sweating pores.

Keri Ford said...

That's amazing, Leslie. I was at a playground a month ago and couln't make it across the monkey bars. I was so ashamed, I owned the monkey bars as a kid and couldn't get across them.

When I was a kid, I remember praying to God and asking him to only let it rain at night so I could play outside everyday! Both parents are outdoorsie, and so are my grandparents.

Kim Castillo said...

Oh wow, Les, I think just reading that counts as my cardio workout for the day.

You're one tough cookie, babe! Way to go.

um, and I just saw Christie's blog about the purple penis. ROFL!! I too have been the recipient of a purple sex toy by well meaning friends. LOL. Too funny.

Hellie Sinclair said...

See, this is where we differ. My mid-life crisis self is entertaining the idea of becoming a pole dancer. (Hey, it's harder than it looks.) So I'd be climbing, building confidence, zipping down a pole, and getting all the exercise I've avoided for the last 20 years all in one fell swoop--but I'd do it in an environment without humidity, WITH air conditioning, and blaring great music instead of creepy outside, night time noises. "OMG, is that a cougar?!" Less likely to get malaria from all the mosquitoes that would eat me alive.

Though I did enjoy camping when I was a kid. And canoing.

You're a great sport! Happy, happy birthday! And treat your tequila sunrise bruises to...well, a tequila sunrise. (Or Tom Collins...or whatever.)

BTW, my father is a farmer...very outdoorsy...but once I realized humidity was awful, he couldn't lure me outside.

Christie Craig said...

You've won my respect.

Crime Scene Christie

Leslie Langtry said...


I'm out of shape, which is why I've needed 12 hours of sleep to recover. I love the pole dancing thing Hellion! Maybe there should be a pole-dancing Bombay...

Sorry I gave you the impression it was my birthday - that's not until August 15. I'm a dork for making you guys think that!!! Mea culpa !


Terri Osburn said...

Ah, it's never too early to start celebrating. LOL!

Kim Castillo said...

No way, not to early at all. In my family we get b-day time. If you're really good you can drag it out a month. ohh, I think we should have a b-day party in San Francisco!