Thursday, June 05, 2008

Blondes have more...moments.

Can we talk?

Okay. What I really mean is ‘MAY I VENT?’

Readers often ask me, “Is there any of you in Tressa Jayne Turner?” Confession time. More of me than I care to admit at times, that’s for sure. The most recent example of Bullet Hole’s ‘blonde’ moments came last night. You see, in order to finish my Criminal Justice degree, I need a Science credit with a lab or an upper level Math class. Not being mathematically gifted, I decide to go the Science route and I find a Field Ecology class which meets two nights a week with ‘field labs’.

I’m thinking that while biomes don’t particularly trip my trigger, I enjoy flora and fauna as much as the next person. I believe in conservation. (Plus I sure as heck didn’t want to take Trigonometry as the alternative credit to finish my degree.) I’ll do it! I decided.

Well, last night was our first ‘field observation’. I’d done the prep work. I had my little field lab notebook, pencils for drawing, jeans and sturdy shoes. I was prepared to sit and make cute drawings of birds and trees and plants and fungi to my heart’s content. And the blonde moment, you wonder? That came when I doused myself with vanilla butter crème body splash just before I headed out the door for my adventure in the wild. And the end result? It was like ringing the dinner bell for mosquitoes in the next county. I was a freaking mosquito magnet! I got more mosquito guts on my field observation notebook than observations as I swatted at swarms of buzzing insects around my ears and scratched at red welts.

For our first observation we were supposed to come up with five organisms, five probing questions and five hypotheses to go along with each question.

My organisms included: mosquitoes (naturally), red ants, poison oak, a squirrel, and a giant raccoon who lumbered out of the tall grass and scared the crap out of me as I was trying to escape the wooded area and hoofing it towards a dormant cornfield.

My most salient question?

‘Why hadn’t I doused myself with Deet instead of vanilla????’

My hypothesis?

‘Blonde moments will still occur even when those tresses are chemically treated and enhanced.’

So. What’s was your latest ‘blonde moment’? What really dumb stunt have you pulled lately? Maybe next week I’ll tell you about spilling coffee down the front of my new white jacket---and not realizing it was there until after I left the doctor’s office. Or how I managed to get the shirt UNDERNEATH the jacket stained, as well. Or how I managed to get coffee on the BACK of the jacket collar.

~Bullet Hole Bacus~


Christie Craig said...

Oh, Kathy.

Love it. We all have those moments.

Thanks for sharing.

Crime Scene Christie

Angie Fox said...

Oh my, Kathy. I can just see you, out in the wild, with nothing to defend yourself with but your field notebook. Sorry for your experience, but thanks for the laugh!

I think the busier we get, the easier it is to rely on autopilot and douse yourself in lotion rather than Deet. Or get a phone call in the middle of unloading groceries and leave a few gallons of milk to bake in the car (me, last week).

At least the friend who called was complimented. When I told her what I did, she said, "Told you my date last night was interesting."

Kathy Bacus said...

I seem to have more than my share of those 'moments', Christie.

And I never was one for roughing it in the wild.

~Bullet Hole~

Keri Ford said...

Avon makes a lotion "Skin So Soft" and it's great for bug repletent without making you smell awful

I have lots of blonde moments, but there's only one that sticks out in my head (and my hubby's). I once explained to my husband that if we kept going 50mph we should cover 60miles in an hour.

Kathy Bacus said...

LOL Angie! I've done the milk/ice cream/eggs left in the hot car thing a time or two, as well.

But I bet you never drove off in a metropolitan area with a gi-normous pizza sized decorated sugar cookie on the hood of your car. I'd like to say I did that when I was a ditzy teenager, but to be honest it was just three years ago. A friend following me at the time retrieved the cookie box from roadside. Would you believe the cookie wasn't even broken?

Now that has to be a record of some kind!

Love the wicked authors blog, by the way!

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

I've never been any good at math either, Keri. Especially those, if you were on a bus traveling east at sixty miles an hour story problems.

I once used the restroom at a restaurant and shut the light out when I left, unaware there was another patron in the second stall at the time.

I maintained a low profile I can tell you as that woman exited the restroom complaining loudly about being left in the dark in the middle of taking care of business. Argh!

~Bullet Hole~

Anonymous said...

Blond moments???
As I understand it, even the bald have blond moments.
I know from experience that any kind of scent is a mistake out doors. If it doesn't attract the little buggers it enrages them.
At my age my blond moments are more likely to be senior moments. I seem to have a problem leaving the water running. I've learned to hide the sink stoppers to avoid floods. I haven't done the dishes in weeks because I can't remember where I put the drain plug. :(

Terri Osburn said...

I have that lotion and I LOVE it. But then I'm a chubby girl and we prefer food scents to just about anything else.

I have blond moments all the time though I've never been a blond. Last weekend I took my kiddo to a local water park. Slathered on the sunblock but somehow managed to miss the area around my halter straps. I've gone from too sore to wear a bra to itching up a storm and peeling. Gah!

Couple weeks ago at work, I sent books intended for Hawaii to Italy and books meant for Italy to Hawaii. Thankfully, I have a very understanding boss. *sigh*

Lucy said...

I have blond moments all the time. Last week I was asking if we got the 4th of July off for a holiday.

When there's too much going on in your head, something's going to fall out. Apparently for me, holiday schedules are among those thing that fall out.

Kathy Bacus said...

LOL on the running water, bookmobiler!

My kids razz me all the time about losing my cell phone. Sadly, it's true. It's really bad when I set it down somewhere and it's on 'silent' and I can't even call it to help locate it by the ring!

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

My daughter had a nasty burn from tennis, Terrio. I made her apply vinegar. She had a fit. It stunk up a storm but it worked to get the 'heat' out.

LOL on the mailing mix up. That is one understanding boss! I've switched checks in bills occasionally. I'm sure the affected companies probably thought it was done deliberately. Sadly, it was just me being me.

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

Don't feel bad, Lucy. The other day my son asked when Memorial Day was. I had to tell him not until 2009. He was actually talking about Labor Day.


~Bullet Hole~

Lucy said...

The bill thing just reminded me of something. It was right after Nationals in Reno. I pay my bills electronically now and a couple of weeks after I got back from Reno I got a call from my mortgage company wanting to know when they could expect the rest of my payment. I was confused because I'd paid my mortgage and my cable bill at the same time and could see the amount taken out of my account. It wasn't until I looked really closely at my account that I realized that I'd sent my cable bill amount to my mortgage company and my mortgage payment amount to my cable company.

Funny, the cable company didn't have a problem with the mix up at all. lol

Angie Fox said...

LOL So basically, you had cable covered for the next few years.

Kathy Bacus said...

Funny, the cable company didn't have a problem with the mix up at all.

I bet they didn't, Lucy! They probably wished all their customers paid ahead like that. Too funny!

~Bullet Hole~