The Penultimate Interview

I've been doing some blog and media interviews lately and it's made me wonder what I would ask me if I were interviewing me. So, just for fun, here's how my dream interview would go:

Interviewer - Daniel Craig (completely nude, duh!): Oh, Leslie Langtry! You write the greatest books ever written and everyone wants to be just like you!

Me: (blushing) Oh, stop it, you!

Daniel: No! Really! Will you run away with me to the Riviera?

Me: I can't! I really can't! Well, okay. But after the interview. And I have to get back before the Girl Scout meeting.

Daniel: Yes, of course. My first question is, who are you wearing?

Me: Well, Daniel, I'm wearing PRADA at the moment. Do you like my shoes?

Daniel: (looks lovingly at brown, suede d'orsays) They're lovely - like you. My next question is, if you could be a fish, what kind of fish would you be and why?

Me: Hmmmm, I would have to be a bass.

Daniel: What a wonderful answer! Why a bass?

Me: Well, if you must know, a bass is thrown back into the water an average of 30 times before it is big enough to be caught for keeps. I like the odds.

Daniel: Sigh. Beautiful and smart too!

Me: Stop! You're embarrassing me!

Daniel: Alright, here's a tougher one. Tiffany's or Cartier?

Me: I'm on the fence on that one, Danny Boy. I love Tiffany's but would never turn down Cartier. At least, not on the first date.

Daniel: Excellent (writes it down) and paper or plastic?

Me: Neither. I prefer to use canvas tote bags. Green is the new pink, you know.

Daniel: Where have you been all my life? Well, I think that's all we have time for. Thank you to my guest and the future Mrs. Daniel Craig - Leslie Langtry - for the most inspired interview I have ever given.

Me: You're welcome.

Daniel: Can I put my clothes back on now? It's kind of cold here in the Midwest.

Me: No.

My challenge to you - who would your ideal interviewer be?

The Assassin