My LIfe is So Much More Worse Than Yours

Contest! Contest! Today I have a special treat for you guys. My good buddy and critique partner, Suzan Harden and I came together for some cross promotion. Suzan writes, well, whacky and fun urban fantasies and starting today we’re offering a contest that will run until midnight, Tuesday, June 21st. All you have to do is read the post and leave a comment telling us who you think has worse problems, Kylie or Sam. Okay…You got the floor, Suzan!!!

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New writers are constantly worried about other folks stealing their ideas. Well, Christie and I can tell you the truth: Take the same basic concept—young blonde woman gets embroiled in supernatural shenanigans and has to deal with the resulting chaos in her life, not to mention freaked-out family members—and two different writers are going to come up with two very different books.

Meet Kylie Galen from Christie’s alter ego C.C. Hunter’s Shadow Falls series and Samantha “Sam” Ridgeway from my, Suzan Harden’s, Bloodlines series. We brought them to Panera Bread, our favorite meeting spot, for their own little conversation.

Take it away, ladies!

~Suzan

***

Kylie: “So, you’re, um, a reporter, right?”

Sam: “I used to be. I work for a vampire now. A guy named Burnett called him about talking to you. Something about you not being sure what you are.”

Kylie: “Oh. Well, I’m not. Not sure I mean. All the other supernaturals look at me like I’m a freak.” *Glances up at Sam with puzzlement* “He said you sort of have the same problem.”

Sam: “ Sort of. So, is anything specific happening with you? Sprouting hair certain times of the month? A desire to drink liquids you don’t normally drink?

Kylie: *blushes* “Well, I. . .”

Sam: “Like the taste of blood?”

Kylie: “Yeah.”

Sam: *grabs Kylie’s wrist and holds it to her nose*

Kylie: *jerks hand back* “I’m not a snack!”

Sam: *shrugs* “It’s the fastest way to find out what you are. . .”

Kylie: “How would you know?”

Sam: “Trust me. I know.”

Kylie: *almost comes out of her seat* “So what am I?”

Sam: *touches her nose* “Good question. I’ve never smelled anything like you before. But you do smell yummy.”

Kylie: *scoots her chair back* “Good grief! What are you? A were-bloodhound?”

Sam: “Hey, keep your voice down. There’s too many Normals in here.”

Kylie: “Normals?”

Sam: “Yeah, regular people.”

Kylie: “I liked it a lot better when I thought I was normal. Then I just had my mom and dad’s divorce to deal with. And my grandmother’s death, and boy troubles, and best friend going off the deep end, and oh, I was seeing ghosts then, too. I just didn’t know they were ghosts. Oh, heck, maybe my life sucked when I thought I was normal, too.”

Sam: “Have you talked to your parents about this supernatural stuff?

Kylie: *shakes head* “Look, I just found out my dad's really my stepdad. My biological dad is the one who’s some kind of supernatural being. He's not sure what he is, and to top it off, he's dead. And is running out of earth time.”

Sam: “Of course, he’s running out of time. He’s not supposed to be here.”

Kylie: “But I want a chance to know him.”

Sam: “You are getting to know him even if it’s not how you want, so quit whining. At least you weren’t someone's science experiment. You were born this way." *slaps head* "Oh god, now I'm quoting Lady Gaga songs. I wonder if that meat dress she wore was real meat.” *looks around* “Does this place have something more substantial than soup and bread? I'm really hungry. Is there some place I can get a hamburger?" *stomach growls* “Or a dozen?”

Kylie: *leans away from the table* “What are you?”

Sam: “What do you mean?”

Kylie: “You’re not human. You mentioned an experiment. Did someone do something to you? Your brain pattern is. . .weird.”

Sam: “Cut it out with the brain jokes.”

Kylie: “I wasn’t joking. What’s wrong with you?”

Sam: *stomach growls again* “I’ll be right back.” *comes back with six quiches* “Okay, where were we?”

Kylie: “What kind of an experiment did they do to you? Enlarge your stomach?”

Sam: “Ha-ha. These scientists were trying to replicate the pluses of vampirism without all the side effects. They were not nice people. I was kidnapped and used as a guinea pig.”

Kylie: “You’re eating real food. Most vamps don’t really care for food.”

Sam: “I’m also kind of dead, thanks to those ass—ur—jerks.”

Kylie: “You can’t be dead. Look, I’m not saying I’m the hottest French fry in the pack, but there’s one thing I know something about, and it’s ghosts. You’re not really dead. Well, not dead like the dead I have to deal with.”

Sam: *shrugs* “My witch doctor is looking into it.”

Kylie: “Witch doctor?”

Sam: “She’s a witch with an M.D. But every other witch confirms my aura is black, which means I’m dead.”

Kylie: “My friend Miranda is a witch. She might be—“

Sam: “Thanks, but no thanks. I’ve been poked, prodded and spelled enough.”

Kylie: *Looks embarrassed to ask.* “I kind of overheard someone say you were a zombie. Is that right?”

Sam: *glares at Kylie while eating the last quiche*

Kylie: “Well, you said you’re sort of dead and you eat a lot, right?”

Sam: “Do you see any body parts falling off?”

Kylie: “No, but—”

Sam: “If we’re going to discuss embarrassing sh-shtuff, let’s talk about why I smell two guys all over you.”

Kylie: *turns red* “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sam: *breathes deeply* “The werewolf and the fairy.”

Kylie: “Derek’s only half fairy.”

Sam: “Half-smalf. Kid, take it from me. Fairies are nothing but trouble.”

Kylie: “What’s that supposed to mean? Derek’s always been sweet, and kind, and—”

Sam: “And he likes to mess with your mind?”

Kylie: “He only does it when I’m upset.”

Sam: “Uh-huh. What’s the were’s name?”

Kylie: “Lucas.”

Sam: “Trust me. Stick with the canine. They’re a lot more faithful.”

Kylie: “And how many werewolves have you dated?”

Sam: “None, but—”

Kylie: “Do you even have a boyfriend?”

Sam: “Yes, but—”

Kylie: “And what is he?”

Sam: “A vampire, but—”

Kylie: “So you have no idea of what it’s like to decide between two guys.” *looks out window* “Look, I appreciate your advice, but this is something I have to decide on my own.”

Sam: “Hey, just remember dog equals loyalty.”

Kylie: *look down at Sam’s empty plates* “Do you not worry about getting fat?”

Sam: *Rolls her eyes* “Nope. My metabolism changed with my appetite.”

Kylie: “So you’re lucky, huh?”

Sam: *frowns* “You call this lucky?”

Kylie: “Luckier than me?”

Sam: “Just because you see dead people, you think you have it worse?”

Kylie: “It’s not as easy as it sounds. I mean, right now there’s a dead guy standing next to you with his throat slashed, and he wants me to help him and he might not even know he’s dead.”

Sam: *looks around and frowns* “Well, try having the appetite of the entire Rams’ offensive line, and if I don’t eat every couple of hours, bad things happen. Do you know how hard it is to go to family dinners now?”

Kylie: *smiles* “We could probably stay here all day and try to one up each other. But I see my mom is here. I gotta go.”

Sam: *Nods head and smiles* “Nice meeting you.”

Kylie: * scurries for the door*

Sam: *shakes head* “What a strange kid.”

Kylie: *glances back one more time* “What a strange woman.”

***

There you have it, folks. In the comments, let us know who has the worse problems, Kylie or Sam, and why.

And since it’s me and Christie, you know we’re having a contest. I’m giving away Sam’s e-book debut, Zombie Love, and the first Bloodlines novel, Blood Magick. Christie is throwing in a signed copy of Born at Midnight and some swag. A commenter will be randomly selected to win our goodies.

~Suzan

Bio:
Suzan Harden grew up on a working farm in Ohio Amish country, though she’s not Amish. Mucking out pig stalls gives a girl lots of time to make up stories, but with a practical family, writing wasn’t considered a practical employment option. However, according to her Career Line on her palm, she’ll have three primary careers in her life. Writing is the last one. She currently lives in southeastern Texas with a husband who believes writing is a practical career option, a kid who thinks she’s too enamored with zombies, and a beagle who wants his belly scratched.

Both Zombie Love and Blood Magick, book 1 of her Bloodlines series, are available for Kindle at Amazon. For more information on Suzan, visit her blog, www.wildwickedwacky.blogspot.com.