A few months back my neighbor told me about another friend of hers who is a published author. This friend actually writes nonfiction and is a university professor who teaches human sexuality and has "researched" deviant sexual behavior. His area of interest is where the line is between playful (and acceptable) kinky fun and actual dangerous sexual psychosis. So of course he's written a book on the subject. I don't know the title of the book and even if I did I'm not sure I'd mention it here. I'm not a prude but what was described to me was enough to make me think this book might be in the WTF category of nonfiction work and I wouldn't want to list the name of an author that I'm about to make fun of.
So here's the thing: This guy hasn't just interviewed a bunch of fetish-loving folk, he's taken it upon himself to walk-the-walk. "He made an appointment with a dominatrix named Mistress Kitty," my neighbor explained. "She stripped him down, tied him up, spread eagle in a standing position, and then she attached clothespins to his testicles. He said that made him nervous although apparently it didn't really hurt."
I'll admit that I didn't know how to respond to this at first although I have found that the image she painted has stayed with me to this day. "He has had to be really careful about how he writes about all this," my neighbor explained, "because he's sort of in danger of not being taken seriously by his colleagues in the world of academia."
"Really?" I asked trying (and failing) to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, "the other university professors might actually make fun of him just because he let Mistress Kitty put clothespins on his balls? How judgmental."
My neighbor nodded solemnly. "Those people are really conservative."
It occurred to me at that point that we were having one of those only-in-LA kind of conversations. But hey, I was willing to roll with it. "So," I said thoughtfully, "if all this is being used for research for books and academic papers then all his visits to fetish clubs and appointments with dominatrixes...those are all tax deductible, right?"
Again my neighbor nodded, this time with a smile. "I know. He says he has the best job in the world!"
Personally I think that is a matter of opinion. Not everybody enjoys having clothespins attached to their private parts. But obviously if it works for him, more power to him. As far as I'm concerned, as long as all parties involved are consenting adults then his behavior (and theirs) falls into the category of playful kink and he doesn't really pose any danger to society. He may be a danger to his own career if he wants to both write about this stuff AND continue to teach at a university or any other establishment that isn't financed by the porn industry but that's not really my problem.
I just thought it was good blog material.
--Kyra "Fashionista Fatale" Davis
63 comments:
I know I shouldn't but I'm having a hard time refraining from giggling.
I remember you posting about this on your facebook page. As I recall, the comments were very entertaining.
And to think Eloisa James was afraid to "come out" and tell her dean she wrote Romance and was a New York Times Best Seller! (she teaches Shakespeare at Fordham)
This guy would have a real problem. Still fun to imagine the conversation with his dean...
so...I am sitting envisioning a professor with black socks and the men's sock "garters" standing there with clothpins on his testicles....this is quite an amusing vision....baahaahaaaaaa
How would he detail the expense for his accountant?
I don't get the whole "it didn't really hurt thing," because most of the men I know squeal like little girls when someone even barely abuses the boys. I'm pretty sure clothespins qualify as abuse.
I was just planning to post a comment for the Kindle...but figured I should read the blog post first. That was too funny - you're right, good blog material!
Different Strokes for Different Folks comes to mind when reading this, lol. He may want to keep his writing under an alias. Although personally I do not see what a personal personal tendencies has to do with their academic teachings.
This is what they call "crossing the line." It's funny how for "research purposes" some people leave their commonsense at home and wonder why their gut and heart are at odds all the while seeking approval for such a noble cause that never materializes.
Clothespins? Ouch. Enough said.
It seems to me (I am not of the
learned community) that it would
be extremely difficult to accept,
in a serious manner, anything that
this person espoused. It seems as though he might have enjoyed the
experience a wee bit too much!
Pat Cochran
Laugh, omg, I almost spewed my Dr. Pepper on the computer! And don't refrain from giggling, much less laughing right out loud.
And then I find myself considering: plastic clothespins, the kind with the spring, or the ones we made little soldiers out of when we were kids,or horror of horrors, those magnetized kind that are strong enough to hold crap on the frig? Perhaps I'm obsessing.
And the last time I even considered using a clothespin on someone....yes, it occurred to me....it wasn't to inflict pleasure, let me assure you.
No, he should not reveal his secrets, because I doubt there are many that could look him in the face without laughing with that knowledge, heh.
I know one thing, if I was this professor I wouldn't talk about my research to anyone and I would use a fake identity.
Good grief I never imagined that some guy would even want clothes pins attached to his family jewels.
Like Kima said they usually are very tender in that location.
@keizefire--I hadn't thought about what kind of clothespins! But you're right, there are a lot of possibilities there. Although I agree with Tehya that a person's personal life usually shouldn't affect what kind of job they get (unless what they're doing is borderline-illegal) I do think that if you advertise your fondness for...um...a particular set of eccentricities you probably have to accept a certain amount of ribbing. My 3rd Sophie book, Obsession, Deceit & Really Dark Chocolate dealt with Furries (people who like to dress up as animals while getting "frisky") and I got an email from a real-life-irate furry who didn't feel that I portrayed the Furry community in a dignified light. I spent the next month trying to figure out how I could have made two people dressing up as animals for sex seem sophisticated. Essentially my point is, if you're going to do things that are THAT far outside the norm you're going to have to have a sense of humor about it : P
@keizefire--I hadn't thought about what kind of clothespins! But you're right, there are a lot of possibilities there. Although I agree with Tehya that a person's personal life usually shouldn't affect what kind of job they get (unless what they're doing is borderline-illegal) I do think that if you advertise your fondness for...um...a particular set of eccentricities you probably have to accept a certain amount of ribbing. My 3rd Sophie book, Obsession, Deceit & Really Dark Chocolate dealt with Furries (people who like to dress up as animals while getting "frisky") and I got an email from a real-life-irate furry who didn't feel that I portrayed the Furry community in a dignified light. I spent the next month trying to figure out how I could have made two people dressing up as animals for sex seem sophisticated. Essentially my point is, if you're going to do things that are THAT far outside the norm you're going to have to have a sense of humor about it : P
@kima--yeah, it HAD to have hurt. I mean seriously!
CONGRATS CATSLADY! I JUST SOME AND WISH I WON, BEEN TRYING TO READ GEMMA FOR YEARS BUT NOT HAPPENING WITH SCROOGE! LOL
lindarb49@hotmail.com
I seriously cannot stop laughing. I have to say that is the most foolish thing I have ever heard. I will never look at clothes pegs the same way ever again. SILLY MAN!!!
marypres@gmail.com
i like the playfulness of this article intime@myself.com
It seems like this academic is going a little to far in his research. It's unbelievable that he would tell people about the clothespins.
Quite entertaining.
That was too funny! :D
All I can say is WOW! The things men will do for (ahem) science. Nice comments ladies! I too was wondering what type of clothespins were used.
I really had to laugh myself once reading this. Thanks for the giggles :)
Which begs for the question: What is she using to hold her laundry up on her clothesline out back?
Edward It
CREDITTHEEDIT.COM
Man, I thought academic research involved would involve a pool of people not just one guy getting his jollies. Yikes.
Oh, my! You gals have one of the most entertaining blogs about writing I've seen.
Oh, my! Too funny.
CC
At least he didn't suffer a heart attack, she didn't subsequently panic and chop him up, drive 100 miles and toss the parts into a dumpster in Augusta, Maine.
Too funny that was a great post
That's a great excuse for doiong something you probably don't want to admit to - apparently everything can be research for a book lol.
I'm not really sure what I think. I realize there are a lot of ppl out there not into what I am into..but to mean Pain IS NOT Erotic.
fcffollower sent me to the blog. Bet she didn't know what todays topic was lol
I'm not really sure what I think. I realize there are a lot of ppl out there not into what I am into..but to mean Pain IS NOT Erotic.
fcffollower sent me to the blog. Bet she didn't know what todays topic was lol
love your blog and your sense of humor
What a trooper! That's about all I can say!!
Wow, I'll never complain about my job again!
Well, my guess is that Kinsey probably had plenty of problems getting acceptance when he first started trying to publish his research but who knows if this guy is just looking for people who share his proclivities.
They're all wicked!
OMG, WHAAAATTT??? That's crazy. Sounds more like an excuse to have kinky sexual relations without having to admit that that's his cup of tea.
why would the professor neighbor confess this to another neighbor?
still laughing
A PART OF ME IS CURIOUS ABOUT READING HIS MATERIAL BUT THE OTHER JUST DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW. I THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD PLOT FOR A BOOK, ONLY NOT SO DETAILED... THE BALLS AND THE CLOTHPINS ARE FINE, THAT'S ACTUALLY REALLY FUNNY. THAT ONLY MENT HIS BLOOD WAS RUSHING AND HE WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING IT, THATS WHY HE FELT NO PAIN LOL KINDA FUNNY WHEN YOU THINK OF IT THAT WAY. BUT LIKE SOMEONE ALREADY SAID IN THE COMMENTS, DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. DON'T HATE LOL
I can only see potential embarrassment looming for that professor and his college! Just think if he got caught with his pants down and the clothespins on - Yikes!
laurieire at hotmail dot com
What an imagination lol...
You're right. It's awesome blogging material. I was laughing all the way through it.
:-)
WOW and I thought my college professor walking around class acting like a pigeon to show us postitive reinforcement was funny. He squawked, flapped his arms and bobbed his head.
OMG, this is too funny! :D I cannot understand how he could possibly expect to be taken seriously after detailing such "adventures".
funny,cant think of anything else to say.LOL\vlbelk@hotmail.com
Very funny. The clothespins just made me giggle. Thanks for the laugh today.
Research is important... but whoa!
How can his students have any respect for him. If I were one and knew what he was up to, I dont think I could sit through a class and actually think of anything besides clothespins and testicals. This is something creepy guys do and never talk about...
Wow. I can't believe he conned some poor school into paying for that! What a hoot though!
I think the guy might be using the writing thing as an excuse to act out this fantasy about BDSM. I know alot of authors do research for their books but seriously! who does he think he is kidding. LOL
Thanks I needed a good laugh. :)
Guess I'm old fashioned. I think I actually blushed and hoped a co-worker wasn't reading over my shoulder.
Seriously! Our tax dollars at work and these are the people teaching our kids! Funny in a sad way!
yikes! Sounds like a man's excuse --- I'm doing it for research. Yes. research.
Eeeooowww!
Speaking as a veteran of academe-- he'd probably have less trouble from that than from researching and publishing on something ghettoed as womany....
Same here LOL!
I laughed out loud at this.
Clothespins on his balls didn't hurt?
If this author claims he has the best job in the world, then apparantly he's getting something out of it, or the dominatrix was using those clothespins they use for lingerie that have the hangers on the tops, since she knew he was a beginner!! lol Then again, you know how men talk to make themselves sound better. They're actually big babies!! lol
I think he has a career that enables him to experience his own sexual preferences. To each his own, I guess.
Very funny!
billiondollarprincesss@hotmail.com
It's a hoot.
Things that make you go Hmmm
oh my goodness I never..!
I wouldn't want the other workers knowing about this part of my life for sure.
Too funny.
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