Living My Dream

There's nothing better than a contest to kick off the year! Here at Killer Fiction, we'd like to thank all of our readers for a fabulous 2010 and for helping us kick off 2011 in fine fashion. And what better way to kick off the New Year than with a contest. All the rules for the contest are on the sidebar, so read the rules and make sure you're entered to win. One grand prize winner will win a Kindle. IMPORTANT NOTE: All contest winners will be drawn at the end of the contest. So, if you didn't hear about the contest right away, don't despair - you can still go back to previous blog posts and enter. I’m giving away a $25 gift card to BarnesandNoble.com or Amazon.com - winner's choice. Winners will be notified at the end of the contest period.

Living My Dream (And no, I did not copy Diane’s post from yesterday, I wrote this before I read her post. I swear!)

I’ve been busy lately, very busy. I’m talking fifteen-hour-workdays busy. I’ve missed some of my favorite television shows. (What’s going on with Castle? Has Agent Booth got rid of the girlfriend yet on Bones?) I’ve eaten a bit too much of my husband’s cooking. I still stay clear of his famous, Ketchuped Chicken, but he’s learned to grill yard bird pretty darn good. I did take down the Christmas tree, but I still have all the St. Nick decorations out around the house. But hey…they’re red and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Santa could mean love and snowmen are sort of a symbol of passion. (I know I’m pushing it, but give me a break.) Oh, I even found a couple of Christmas presents in my closet that I forgot to wrap. Oh, well, there’s always next year. You don’t think they’ll mind a 2011 Calendar, do you?


Yup, I’ve been busy. However, busy isn’t always a bad thing. I mean, I’m busy because I have a lot in my life: friends, family, career, hobbies. And yes, I wish I could put more into a day, have more time to give to all the things I love—wish I never had to miss an episode of Bones.

The problem is I love it all and wouldn’t let go of any of it. I just spent the night at my daughter’s house babysitting my little granddaughter. I brought my computer, determined to write this blog while I was there, as I watched her run around. Instead, I was told by a very adamant 22-month-old to, “Sit down. Right here.” So, instead of writing, I sat on the carpet, crawled around on the floor and had circle time with her and about sixteen stuffed animals and dolls, while hubby read us Green Eggs and Ham.

Right now, I’m writing my blog as hubby drives us home. You know, when travel time is used to catch up on work, that’s pretty darn busy. But am I too busy? Okay, I’ll admit it. I could use just a bit of a slow down, but as we all know, most careers put demands on our time and come with requirements and commitments.

However, when your career is a passion, when reaching certain levels in your career has been a life long goal, you do what you can to balance all those demands. Balance . . . while still giving precedence to the people you hold close to your heart. Balance and making adjustments to make sure you are there for them when they really need you. Like helping hubby find his keys for the sixth time, or giving my daughter and son-in-law a date night, or listening to my son’s bad day dilemmas, and making time for circle time with my granddaughter.

Balancing career and life isn’t always easy. But even as I deal with the struggles, I wouldn’t change it. I’m living my dream--launching two new series, for two new publishing houses. It’s scary, exciting, and requires a huge time commitment. Every now and then when I get hit with a moment of stress, and I wonder about the wisdom of wanting it all, I stop and think about my grandmother.

Born 1913, she was the smartest person I’ve known. For one thing, she was probably one of a few number of women of her age who had a college degree. She also had a genius IQ. The woman could remember dates, addresses, and telephone numbers—when they got a phone--of every house she ever lived in. It might not sound like a big deal, but she lived in 46 homes in her life. Trust me, she was scary smart.

She had so much to offer this world. Unfortunately, the world wasn’t ready for her. And not because she had really over-the-top forward thinking ideas. She didn’t want to burn bras before bras were burned, or wear short skirts, I’m don’t think she longed to be sexually promiscuous. I don’t think she even cared she was expected to shoulder most of the responsibilities of raising her six kids, or keeping the house clean and preparing all the food that went into her family’s mouths. Not that the food she put into their mouths was all that great. She was sort of like my hubby in the cooking department. But one thing was for sure, she longed to be more than a wife, mother, and grandmother.

And that’s why I think she really should have been born about fifty years later. You see, she had a career dream. One she never accomplished. Like me, she wanted to be a writer. She had the job offer to go to work at a newspaper. But according to her older brother, who paid the bills in the household and ruled the roust, being a reporter was no job for a lady.

She had two choices: teacher, or nurse.

She became a teacher. A fine one she was, too. And when she married and was expected to give it all up, she didn’t. She juggled the expectations of homemaker with her career when women were looked down on for juggling. And she was my biggest cheerleader as I struggled to go from unpublished writer to published. But I can’t help but think about what all she missed out on, and what the world missed out on, because she was unable to follow her real dream.

So while I deal with the stresses, and juggle career, friends, family, life, and my favorite TV shows—which is always the first thing to go, I’m so thankful that doing so is my choice. And when I hit another benchmark in this career, there’s a little part of me that is doing it for her, too.

So, here’s to you, grandma. I know you are standing at the pearly gates, the last address you’ll have to memorize, watching me, and still cheering me on.

So today the question I have for you, is how busy are you? Are you making sure to keep your priorities straight? Are you working toward making your own dreams come true?

Remember to leave a comment. Today I’ll give away a $25 gift card to either Amazon or B&N, and one lucky commenter who had posted during our two-week contest will win a Kindle.