Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Scare My Kid, Please...


Yes, I'm totally serious. I need help scaring my 12-yr old. I've tried Bill Cosby's Chicken Heart, The Thing (which the Boston Globe calls the scariest movie ever), Paranormal Activity, Alien, even The Ring. She yawned. And then she asked me why any of those things were scary.

When I was 14, we had a sleepover and watched Halloween. I didn't sleep for a month. When I was 8, I had this very strange fear of swallowing my tongue. (As I write this, I'm trying to see if I can.) When I was 9, I would check out every book from the library on vampires and sleep with three scarves around my throat, holding a crucifix my mom had on the wall (and no, I didn't burst into flame.)

And yet, my daughter, the one who sleeps with the light on...the one who freaked out when we came home and the screen was off the front window (due to one obese cat - not a psycho killer awaiting our return from trumpet lessons)...has yet to find a movie, book or tv show that scares her.

This is probably my fault. When the kids were toddlers, we would have Lord of the Ring movie marathons. The Orcs frightened me more than them. AND, they have no fear of clowns either (maybe I should try It?). My ex-brother-in-law feared clowns above all else. He had a t-shirt that said, "Can't Sleep...Clowns Will Eat Me..."

I'm open to your wise suggestions, my evil minions. Help me scare my kid.

The Assassin

18 comments:

Leslee said...

The Shining? The original of course with Jack Nicholson. The Hush episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? (Scares me every time!!!) If those don't work, I am stumped!

Leslie Langtry said...

Oooh, hadn't thought of The Shining. I still wince when I think of those twin girls in blue dresses!

TerriOsburn said...

Didn't see The Shining until I was in college and it was more creepy than scary.

As a kid - okay, and still today - I'm a total fraidy cat. Will not watch scary movies. Terrible nightmares as a kid from Halloween, Friday the 13th, and most of all, Nightmare on Elm Street. They are releasing a new version of Freddie, maybe that will work. (I'm avoiding those commercials so I know the movie ain't happening.)

I'd also try Hellraiser if you want to go to extremes. I get the heeby-jeebies just thinking about that one.

Leslie Langtry said...

My daughter and I watched Nightmare On Elm Street a few weeks ago. Not only was she not scared, she couldn't stop laughing at Johnny Depp in a midrif-baring football jersey.

TerriOsburn said...

There's no hope for her.

Have you tried Silence of the Lambs?

Leslie Langtry said...

Hmmm...you may be on to something. I hadn't thought of Silence of the Lambs...

Kristi said...

I have no idea. My 12 yr old isn't scared by any of them either. She loves scary movies but they don't scare her.

I took her to her first haunted house last year though and that did scare her. She wouldn't admit it, but she was clutching my arm and digging in her nails.

The Entity and The Amittyville Horror used to terrify me.

My husband and I watched one of the Halloweens a couple years ago and after it was over I went down in the dark to use the bathroom.

As I came out of the bathroom at the bottom of the stairs, he jumped down 8 stairs screaming. I almost wet myself.

Leslie Langtry said...

That, is an evil husband.

TerriOsburn said...

Kristi - I'm really trying not to laugh. It's not working. I hope you beat him senseless.

You need to hit the psychological stuff. If the blood and gore doesn't bother her, the mind games might.

Leslie Langtry said...

Mind games are good. What do you suggest?

TerriOsburn said...

Did a little Googling. Other than Silence, you could go old school with Psycho or Marathon Man. I doubt the old stuff will scare her though.

Maybe something newer like The Secret Window (Johnny Depp sans half shirt) or The Machinist with a very skinny and crazy Christian Bale.

Suzan Harden said...

Dead Ringers scared the bejeezus out of me. Psych thriller with Jeremy Irons as twin gynecologists. I never wanted to go the doctor ever again after watching that.

catslady said...

I may know the one. I love scary movies but in my whole life (59) I've only seen one movie that really scared me. It is said that it is a true story. It's called Fire in the Sky and it's about alien abduction. I think Kevin Bacon was in it.

Leslie Langtry said...

Oooh...I'll have to see some of those! Love Marathon Man. I think I used the "is it secret...is it safe" quote for a squib in book two.

Meg and RoRo! said...

Well, Nothing CAN scare me [movie wise]
I have heard of Silece of the Lambs. Heard that there was this guy that like i dont remember but had something to do with tounges.
Mom, You will never ever find a movie that scares me, Mwahahahahahaha (:
-Margaret

TerriOsburn said...

Forget the movies, Margaret scares me.

Ami said...

The Exorcist? I watched it once twenty years ago and I am still traumatized.
My own kids aren't afraid of scary movies or monsters, but will run screaming from my bathroom if I have a mud mask on my face.

Jenyfer Matthews said...

I actually find scary books scarier than movies - try The Shining and It by Stephen King.

By why do you WANT to scare her??