Sunday, July 19, 2009


We all have 'em. And it seems that no matter where you live or how much you pay for your home, there's always that "one person." What is that? Why is there always someone who just won't conform, or be normal, or play nice?

In my new neighborhood, I have a couple of doozies, but I'm not going to talk about them here. Who knows, they may actually read this. But two neighborhood's back, I had a neighbor that was a true piece of work. He worked sometimes, claiming to be some sort of medical sales guy. I always wondered exactly what kind of "medical" products he was selling. His wife was a strange one. I would wave and she would jump in her car and pull away like I was chasing her. Whatever.

Then one night I hear sirens so I step outside and see my next-door neighbor, a real class act, standing in his front yard, looking down the street at the police cars and ambulance. So I ask what's going on. He says "I guess ________ done beat his wife again." Well, that explains a lot, I thought. The sunglasses at midnight. The long sleeves in the summer in Texas. The refusal to speak to anyone, even when spoken too.

Mind you, her husband did not have the same problem. He walked around the neighborhood, usually holding a drink, and talked everyone half to death. In fact, I think one day I actually went to church to get away from him. And the worst part is this guy was a complete idiot to top everything else off. He was one of those that liked to pretend he knew everything and only showed his stupidity.

So one day, I'm talking to my next-door neighbor (the class act) about some flower cuttings he was giving me and the other neighbor comes walking up the street past our houses. At the end of the road was a golf course, and even though this guy clearly had never played golf, I guess he'd decided that was the new, hip thing so he'd picked up a driver at a garage sale and was going to "sneak" on the course after hours and become the next Arnold Palmer. The class-act neighbor and I look up as he passes and realize he has his driver covered with a tube sock. OMG! We both burst out laughing until we cried. If I could have gone inside for a camera, I would have, but I couldn't move.

A tube sock!

So my first thought is "Idiot, there are special socks for golf clubs, and how could you not notice the difference?" And my second thought is "Someone still has tube socks?" And I mean one with a purple and yellow stripe around. Absolutely classic.

So what about you - got a neighbor with an odd bend?

A link for Terry S. - this is from last week on America's Got Talent. Absolutely amazing kid guitarist. (This was the best quality one I found, but you don't have to watch the whole thing) I think he could win the whole thing:

Deadly DeLeon


Keri Ford said...

A great reason to live where I do--nobody around me but family! Weird or not, they're still family and you accept them for all their cute little quirks.

Terry S said...

Thanks for posting the video and all I can say is "Wow!". Talent finds like this are exactly why the show works...and why I miss seeing it.

I've been lucky in all the neighborhoods I've ever lived. One exception: the people who had their car up on blocks the day after they moved into the house. Their back hill country accents were so thick I understood on a good day maybe 1 in 10 words. That's not saying a lot when the one word is "axt". Thankfully, three months later they were gone, including car and blocks. Currently, I get a kick out of the neighborhood watch emails.

Tori Lennox said...

I think one day I actually went to church to get away from him.

I think this line cracked me up the most! LOL!

We have one neighbor who's been on his best behavior lately. But one day I heard shouting and looked out and he was yelling at another neighbor out the passenger side of a van. The next thing I knew he'd opened the door--while the van was still moving--and he fell out in the ditch! I had no idea what the shouting was all about, but when he fell in the ditch, I fell on the floor laughing. *g* Turned out he was drunk as a skunk (so he wasn't hurt).

Becky LeJeune said...

So funny! We're moving right now -- furniture in, old place needs to be cleaned -- so this is really the perfect post for me right now.

We had a terrible neighbor at our last place, a real *****. Then I finally made a friend in my other next door neighbor, only to have to move a few months later. I was being stalked by another neighbor's 7 year old niece (she was even peeking in my windows!) in the days up to the move.

Now we're in our new house and I have no impressions of the neighbors thus far except that there are a gazillion people sharing the house next to ours and there are ten cars parked around the house behind ours. Wonder what I got myself into in this neighborhood?!

Jana DeLeon said...

Keri - I don't know. If I was living near my family, I might just move. I like to accept their quirks a state away. :)

Jana DeLeon said...

Terry - LOL on the watch. We don't have a neighborhood forum, or thread, or watch. We have a Mariah - and she doesn't miss ANYTHING.

Some people find it obnoxious, but since I'm not doing anything worth talking about, I love it that she's a stay-at-home-mom with all the time in the world to watch everything that goes on. Our neighborhood is still under construction and with so many contractors in and out every day, it's nice to know someone's watching while I'm at work.

Glad you liked the video!

Jana DeLeon said...

Tori - If you liked that line, then you must be Baptist. :)

Was the ditch full of water....pretty please?

Jana DeLeon said...

Becky - before you move anywhere, you're supposed to do surveillance. I cruise the neighborhood first thing in the morning before people would go to work - so I know how many sleep there (that drive, at least). I check on Saturday evenings to see how many are standing around their front yards holding 40's. I check when school lets out to see if there's a pack of kids acting a fool and no adults around.

And I'm big on looking at the condition of cars. I don't care if they're old, but how people keep their cars tells me a lot about how they'll keep their grass.

Unfortunately, my neighbors here with the rust-painted cars moved in after me - and let their grass grow as high as the fence. (sigh)

LuAnn said...

We have next door neighbors who run drugs and prostitution out of their house. It pretty interesting sometimes to sit outside and see the comings and goings over there!

Tori Lennox said...

Tori - If you liked that line, then you must be Baptist. :)

Close. Church of Christ. *g*

Unfortunately, the ditch was NOT full of water. I'd have been laughing hysterically for days otherwise.