Neighbors

We all have 'em. And it seems that no matter where you live or how much you pay for your home, there's always that "one person." What is that? Why is there always someone who just won't conform, or be normal, or play nice?

In my new neighborhood, I have a couple of doozies, but I'm not going to talk about them here. Who knows, they may actually read this. But two neighborhood's back, I had a neighbor that was a true piece of work. He worked sometimes, claiming to be some sort of medical sales guy. I always wondered exactly what kind of "medical" products he was selling. His wife was a strange one. I would wave and she would jump in her car and pull away like I was chasing her. Whatever.

Then one night I hear sirens so I step outside and see my next-door neighbor, a real class act, standing in his front yard, looking down the street at the police cars and ambulance. So I ask what's going on. He says "I guess ________ done beat his wife again." Well, that explains a lot, I thought. The sunglasses at midnight. The long sleeves in the summer in Texas. The refusal to speak to anyone, even when spoken too.

Mind you, her husband did not have the same problem. He walked around the neighborhood, usually holding a drink, and talked everyone half to death. In fact, I think one day I actually went to church to get away from him. And the worst part is this guy was a complete idiot to top everything else off. He was one of those that liked to pretend he knew everything and only showed his stupidity.

So one day, I'm talking to my next-door neighbor (the class act) about some flower cuttings he was giving me and the other neighbor comes walking up the street past our houses. At the end of the road was a golf course, and even though this guy clearly had never played golf, I guess he'd decided that was the new, hip thing so he'd picked up a driver at a garage sale and was going to "sneak" on the course after hours and become the next Arnold Palmer. The class-act neighbor and I look up as he passes and realize he has his driver covered with a tube sock. OMG! We both burst out laughing until we cried. If I could have gone inside for a camera, I would have, but I couldn't move.

A tube sock!

So my first thought is "Idiot, there are special socks for golf clubs, and how could you not notice the difference?" And my second thought is "Someone still has tube socks?" And I mean one with a purple and yellow stripe around. Absolutely classic.

So what about you - got a neighbor with an odd bend?

A link for Terry S. - this is from last week on America's Got Talent. Absolutely amazing kid guitarist. (This was the best quality one I found, but you don't have to watch the whole thing) I think he could win the whole thing:



Deadly DeLeon