The "L" Word

Okay, kids, I have a serious question I need help with today – at what point in a relationship do you say the “L” word. No, I’m not talking about “love”. (Things are way too new for that.) I’m talking about the other “L” word – like. Sure, it’s cool to “like” his car, to “like” the restaurant we went out to, to “like” (or, heck, even love) the movie we just saw. But when applied to the guy you’re out with “like” can be a scary word. Granted, he just sat through The Happening (so freaky – don’t go see it unless you have a lap to jump into during certain scenes) and hardly even flinched, but I can just imagine the terror in his eyes if I bust out with the “L” word.

On the other hand… I’m really starting to like Mr. Big. I found myself thinking about him in the middle of the day yesterday for no reason at all. And had a big goofy grin on my face. It’s to the point where, when I describe him to friends, I’m no longer focusing on his cut abs and gorgeous eyes, but on the way he gets this sort of crooked little half smile thing before it grows into a full-on teeth smile that’s so cute, or the way I melt every time he calls me sweetie. Yep, I’m definitely falling in like.

Which always bring up the big question – does he like me? Honestly? It’s hard to tell. We always have a good time together, he’s very sweet, very much the door-opening, insisting-on-paying-for-everything, holding-my-hand perfect kind of guy. But when we talk it’s more about the real estate deals he’s got going on or the conferences I have coming up or how the Giants are doing this week. Everyday stuff. Not how we may be feeling about each other stuff. No, that kind of talk is danced around very carefully. The word “like” has not entered our vocabulary yet. Ditto that just as scary “R” word – relationship.

And there’s one other thing about Mr. Big. He’s… well… Mr. Big. It took Carrie 7 seasons and one movie of Sex & the City to get her guy. While I’m hoping my Mr. Big isn’t quite that bad, I get the distinct impression he’s not been the settle-down type so far. He knows all the hottest nightclubs in town, can order wine like nobody’s business, has a network of single fun-guy friends he hangs out with. Never married, no kids, no ties. Declined an invitation to meet my family his week - which I was honestly a little bummed about. Every time we’re together, the date screams “fun”… which is great, who doesn’t like fun, right?… but, I don’t see a real inclination toward lasting relationships.

So, while like is growing stronger all the time on my part, I so don’t want to be the George Constanza sitting there professing his true feeling to the zookeeper gal while she retaliates with, “I’m hungry, let’s go eat.” (Can you tell I’ve been doing a lot of small screen research for my TV writing lately?) As Jerry so aptly put it, “What if she doesn’t say she loves you back? That’s a big matzo ball hanging out there.”

I need your collective wisdom on this one, gals. How soon is too soon to say the “L” word?


~Trigger Happy (and sorta smitten) Halliday