Tuesday, July 08, 2008

He's Cheating On Me!



Yup. Hubby’s cheating. I caught him. In my own bed. I was floored, stunned. I mean, I’d gotten up to run downstairs to check my email. Yeah, I’m addicted to email, and I’ve made this confession before. Not that it means I deserved this to happen. And seriously, I’d only left him a lone for . . . what? Twenty minutes?

And when I snuck out of the bedroom he’d looked content, no signs of any problem. He was relaxed, happy, reading a book on some dead president. But when I came back, and slipped into the room, there he was . . . a big happy smile on his face with Rachel Gibson in his hands. Well, her book in his hands. Then I see it. Resting beside him was Colleen Thompson’s book, as if cheating on me with one author wasn’t bad enough. And I mean, I’m friends with Colleen. How could he do this?

“What are you doing?” I asked.

He gazed up. He didn’t even have the decency to look guilty. “Uh . . . I’m reading.”

“You don’t read romances,” I insisted.

“I read yours.”

Yeah, he did read mine. But only mine. I mean, his tastes run more in line with dead presidents and the ancient Mayan civilization. Honestly, he only started reading mine so he wouldn’t feel so guilty about reading and depositing my checks.

He squirmed a little in the bed. Good, he was finally accepting his guilt.

“What happened to your president?” I pointed to his book left abandoned on his bedside table.

More guilt flashed in his eyes. “Uhh, he died.”

“And that was a surprise?” I asked. “You should have known that when you bought the book, the title The Sixteen President should have clued you in. Besides, someone is going to die in Colleen’s book. They always die and it’s never pretty.”

His gaze shot to Colleen’s book with longing and desire. “Really?”

I snatched Colleen’s book from the bed and put it back on my night stand. His gaze darted back to Rachel’s book. “What about that one.”

“They could die . . . Maybe. She sometimes kills people. But she’s not scary like Colleen.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“Which one?” I asked. Was I jealous? Heck yeah. He’s only supposed to read my romance novels.

“Both,” he confessed.

I sent him “The Look.” You know the one wives have been giving husbands for years.

“You got something in your eye?” he asked.

I hate it when he doesn’t get the look. “You would do this?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Well, you haven’t given me one of your books in a long time.”

Isn’t that just like a man to think of his own needs. “It takes me at least two to three months to write one.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Do without until you have something to hand over?”

“Fine,” I said, “Read them.” I tossed him Colleen’s book, and Rachel’s. “And here, try T.J. Bennett.” I dug into my to-be read stack. “I’ll bet you might enjoy Nina Bangs, Gerry Bartlett, Teri Thackston, Gemma Halliday, Leslie Langtry, Kathy Bacus and wait, give this one a going over.” And I toss him Jana Deleon’s latest.”

He grabbed the books and stacked them around him as if they were his harem. Then he looked at me with a smile and said, “Hon’, I’m sure they’ll not mean near as much to me as your books.”

“Because I’m special to you, right?” Hey, I needed some assurance.

“No,” he said. “Because I’m not going to get to cash their royalty checks.”

Men!!!!!!!!!

So…what books are on your night stand? If you’re a writer, does your husband read your books? Does he cheat on you with other authors? Should I be honored that I made a romance reader out of him?

Crime Scene Christie

43 comments:

Linda C said...

Christie,
Right now I am reading J D Robb "In Death" series. However, I also have the books by Maggie Barbieri "Murder 101" and Sheryl Anderson, "Killer Heels". Waiting with baited breath for the next "high heels" mystery (Gemma). I am usually reading 2-3 books at a time. BTW have read everyone's books on this blog.

Your hubby sounds like mine. He reads non-fiction, mostly, about dead presidents, the panama canal and such. However, when I am reading really good romance novel, he wants me to underline the "good" parts for him LOL. I did read him the part about washing dishes in "Weddings". I won't say what happened afterwards as childern might read this blog. He He He

Linda

Christie Craig said...

Hi Linda C.

Yup, hubby reads mostly non-fiction. Well, until he decided to cheat. :-)

And yes, I do read the gals on this blog. All great writers. All of us have humorous voices. Actually, Gemma and I go a long way back. We actually critiqued each other's books before either of us sold to Dorchester.

Now, I'm honored that you read hubby my dish washing scene. And what ever happened later is between you and him. (big smile) But I'll bet the next day you didn't wake up to any dirty dishes.

Thanks for posting.

Oh, right now I'm finishing Rachel Gibson's Bad Dates.

Crime Scene Christie

Teri Thackston said...

Tell Steve that I feel totally neglected by my hubby in this regard. If he's willing to pick me up, I think he'd really enjoy our time together. :)

Funny stuff as usual, Christie. And I'm reading Weddings Can Be Murder right now...it's wonderful!
Teri
www.terithackston.com

Dru said...

I'm reading Weddings Can Be Murder right now and I can't wait to get up to the "washing dishes part". Rachel's books is next in my TBR pile.

I've also read everyone's books on this blog and totally enjoy all of them.

Christie Craig said...

Teri,

And here I thought you were my friend! (smile)

Enjoy Weddings Teri.

Thanks for posting.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Dru,

Thanks for stopping by. Let me know when you get to the Dish Washing scene. (smile)

Hey, my hubby never refuses to do the dishes.

Crime Scene Christie

Kimberly Ivey said...

Christie,

My husband mostly reads nonfiction, but he DOES read all my books -- published and pre-published. He's a reader, not a writer, so he can zero in on specific elements in my manuscripts and tell me if something is working or not. This arrangement seems to work out nicely and I haven't killed him yet. >grin<

Hubby also rates the heat levels of my stories, regardless of whether I ask or not. A 'one riser' . . . a two . . . I'll spare you the more intimate details. He's so cute. He also (jokingly) remarked that I must have worn out a thesaurus with my Gray Wolf's Bride because the heat level of that book was SMOKIN HOT, but it took some clever euphemisms to pull it off to make it a non-erotic read. And no, I didn't use terms like 'giant granite monolith' . . . 'man sword' . . . or 'silken love tunnel.' Just generic euphemisms that don't jar the reader.

(Uh oh, speaking of which, perhaps I should have warned my mother who just picked up a copy? Yikes. Better do that today)

Anyway, my husband doesn't cheat--at least not without my consent. Ha! I gotcha! (She's thinking, ooooh, kinky. ) Anyway, I once thrust a Jody Thomas book into his hands and he LOVED it! Well, maybe 'thrust' was too strong a word but you know how we romance authors are. Euphemisms out the wazoo.

Anyway, thanks for letting me comment! Have a great day and I hope you can tame that cheatin' man of yours!

Kimberly Ivey
www.myspace.com/kimberlyivey
Gray Wolf's Bride in BRIDES OF THE WEST, Feb 08
"That's a Croc," in NO LAW AGAINST LOVE 2, July 2008

Keri Ford said...

my husband really doesn't like to read. At All. Unless it's a magazine. With lots of pictures of deer and four-wheelers and big trucks. Or Cabela's.

I got him to read one of my books once. Took him weeks. Hubby not the swiftest reader (he claims he reads fast, but the problem is I read abnormally fast).

I currently have 29 books on my shelf. no wait, 37. One day I will get around to reading my all-in-one Jane Austen book. Normally my pile isn't so high, as a book comes in the mail, I read it that night or next day. But a few weeks ago I picked up a $100 gift certfificate to B&N from the girls at Riding With the Top Down (thanks again, ladies!). I spent it all, and in my excitement, added another $30 or so dollars. I am slowly going through the pile and getting more aqaunited with all the killer fiction ladies.

Christie Craig said...

Kimberly,

Okay, girl, I'm laughing here. You and your euphemisms and kinky ways. (smile) Hey, guess what I got on my desk? A copy of Brides of the West. Yup, and when I'm finished, I'm hiding you! Keeping you away from my hubby.

Thanks for posting girl.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Keri,

I'm honored that you picked up some of Killer Fiction books. I'm positive you will enjoy all of us.

And I'll bet you'll have that to-be-read pile down in no time.

And I'll have to check out the Riding with Top Down gals. Hey, I want a B&N card.

Thanks for posting girl.

Crime Scene Christie

Kim Lenox said...

You have to keep your eye on that Colleen, because she is a wicked temptress.

My husband doesn't read books, not even mine. I think he feels like he gets some credit just for living amongst my stacks. He reads the newspaper, and gardening magazines and lots of contracts for work, but mostly he's in constant motion, working on one project or another.

Hey, ask your DH if he wants me to send him an ARC. vbg

Keri Ford said...

Oh, wait, I can see it now! Reviews from Christie's husband!

Suzan Harden said...

My TBR pile (short stack)- Night Shift by Lillith Saintcrow, Accidental Vampire by Lynsay Sands, Weddings Can Be Murder (Don't know if this actually counts since I got to proof it before it went to the editor ;D ), Wolf Tales VI by Kate Douglas. Currently reading Weedings can Hell (Maggie Shyane)and A Touch of Twilight (Vicki Petterson).

Hubby prefers hard sci-fi, but I've got hooked on Jim Butler's Dresden Files.


Hubby IS rather jealous that Christie and the rest of my critiquers gets to read my WIPs before he does...

Well, they read the WIPs I actually intend to send to agents and editors. There are certain ms that only he gets to read... ;)

Kristi said...

Hi Christie. My hubby doesn't read at all and I'll never understand it. I't kills me.

I have a huge to TBR pile. It's about 57 books. I'm a Barnes & Nobel junkie, I also belong to PaperBackSwap.com and I have about 20 holds at the library.

Right now I'm reading Driving Sideways by Jess Riley. Next up is "Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy by Leslie Langtry and after that is The Con Artist Of Catalina Island by Jennifer Colt.

After that I think I'll have to do eanie meanie miney mo.

Christie Craig said...

Kim,

With friends like you guys, what do I need ememies for? You would offer to send him an ARC, wouldn't you?

Hey, I can't wait to read your book. I don't think Colleen's the only evil temptress around here. I mean, you're writing about Jake The Ripper.

And I'll probably hide your book away with Kimberly's book so Hubby can't get his cheating fingers on it.

Thanks for stopping by.

Crime Scene Christie

TJ Bennett said...

Hey, Christie! I've met your hubby, and I must thank you for giving him permission to cheat on you with me. Lovely man. LOL!

I just want to know how you convinced him to read yours to begin with. I'm still waiting for my hubby to read mine. It is on his TBR stack, right next to the dead president biographies he finished recently (Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt), the commentary on what's wrong with our political parties, and Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine.

Of course, I keep kicking the book to the bottom of the stack because I sorta actually DON'T want him to read it after all...maybe it is a bit TOO hot for his tastes. :-) But if your books doesn't phase your husband, he should be fine with mine. No dishwashing scenes, sadly. :-)

TJB

Christie Craig said...

Keri,

Please do NOT encourage him.

You have to know he enjoys being "the star" way too much. He secretly reads my blogs and when I don't mention him, he pouts.

He has also threatened to start his own blog. I told him I'd have as a guest blogger some time, but only if I get to proof it first.

Crime Scene Christie

Colleen Thompson said...

Wait 'til my husband hears about this!

Of course, he's been carrying on with John Sandford books for years while mostly ignoring mine, and I feel sure my characters die just as frighteningly. ;)

Thanks for the laughs!

Jenyfer Matthews said...

My husband has read a few of my manuscripts under duress. He hasn't offered lately and since I have a CP now, I haven't asked him to. Though he'd probably read the "good parts" without too much encouragement!

He mainly reads nonfiction or mysteries. I'd take his temperature if I ever saw him with one of my books. Though he has dipped into them on occasion and complimented the characterization...

Christie Craig said...

Suzan,

I know why your husband is jealous! And believe me, I'm keeping your manuscripts out of my hubby's hands.

Thanks for popping in.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Kristi,

57, Huh? Wow. Your stack is right up there with mine. I some times think I should just have my royalty checks made out to Barnes & Nobel.

And oh, I use the "eanie meanie miney mo" method a lot.

Thanks...

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

TJ,

Well, if hubby is going to cheat, I guess I want it to be with someone I like. (Smile) However, having to turn on the ceiling fan while reading your books, I may try to snag your book from his pile. Hmmm....

As for getting hubby to read my books. You take him aside and whisper in his ear, "I wrote about everything you've taught me."

Hey, they love having their egos stroked.

Thanks for stopping in.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Colleen,

I think I might have to call your hubby and have a talk with him. :-)

And whoa, your husband is carrying on with John Sanford? I'm sure your people die just as nasty.

Thanks for posting girl.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Jenyfer,

They do like those good parts, don't they?

I can seriously tell you that I was shocked to find my hubby reading "Other" romances.

Thanks for posting.

Crime Scene Christie

Anonymous said...

Christie,

Funny blog, girl.

Faye

Tori Lennox said...

How dare he! LOL!!!

I'm re-reading children's books right now. *g* Edward Eager's "Magic" series. I was in the mood for something light and easy. :)

Christie Craig said...

Thanks Faye.

I think I've been hanging out too much with some writer in NY and she's rubbing off on me.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Tori,

Thank gawd, finally someone who understands how I feel.

(Smile)

Thanks...

Crime Scene Christie

terrio said...

This is hyterical! And I'm sorry but a man who will read romances, and manage to be charming and flirtatious when caught, is adorable.

No significant other and the one I had once upon a time didn't read anything but the Cabella's catalog.

My TBR stack is pushing 300 so I couldn't possibly give a list. BUT, I did finish Weddings this past weekend. LOVED IT! And that dishwashing scene could actually change my mind about housework.

Stephanie said...

Christie, thank you for the laugh! I needed it. I have a towering TBR pile. But right now I am concentrating on my beach read pile. The beach trip is about a month away, but I am already deciding which books to wait and read at the beach. I already have one of your books and Gemma Halliday's books in my beach pile.

Stephanie

Lucy said...

Right now I'm reading Deja Demon by Julie Kenner but next (or soon thereafter) is Weddings Can be Murder by one Christie Craig. You may have heard of her? Oh, and she should tell her hubby that any royalty check on that sale is NOT for him! :)

Nancy said...

Christie, I can only say I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.

Thanks for the fun! My hubby doesn't read other romance authors. Heck, I wasn't sure, he'd read my book. But if I could make him a romance novel fan, I'd be happy!

Light,
Nancy Haddock
La Vida Vampire

Gemma Halliday said...

Very timely post - my TBR pile has shrunk and I'm looking for some good books to add to the list. Taking notes, here!

I've let a couple of the guys I've dated read my books. Mostly the novellas - I figure break them in slow. As far as I know, I haven't created romance readers out of them. but they are usually surprised that I kill people. Apparently I don't give off that 'plotting murder all day' vibe.

~Gemma

Christie Craig said...

Terrio,

I'm thrilled you enjoyed Weddings. And hey, hubby is sort of adorable, but I do think all this attention might go to his head.

Thanks for stopping by.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Stephanie,

You are so welcome for the laugh. We all need at least two or three of those a day.

And hey, I'm thrilled you'll be reading me on the beach. Hmm...Don't get too hot or burned, or forget to turn over as you lose yourself in those books.

Thanks for posting,

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Lucy,

Hmm...I think I've heard of that crazy author. I hope you love Weddings.

And yes, Lucy I try to explain that royalty checks are off limits, but he doesn't quite understand.

I'm loving all the book recommendations, too.

Thanks for posting.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Nancy,

I hope it was a good cry! Thanks so much for posting.

I was really shocked to see my husband interest in other romance writers. Who knew . . .

Oh, I love the title of your book!

I'm going to have to pick it up.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Gemma,

You look so sweet. Who would think you could kill people?

Me, I think people look at me and think... You know she could, possible have a dark side.

Crime Scene Christie

Jo Anne said...

Ahh, Christie, you've done it again. Gave me the chuckles, and isn't that fun. Steve's no fool. He knows good fiction when he reads it and good for him!

My TBR stack isn't a stack anymore, because it lives in two large plastic containers. I used to go through a book in a day or two - now I'm lucky if I can get one read in a week. The hazards of adding writing to an already busy schedule.

But, I just finished Susan Elizabeth Philips' "Natural Born Charmer" and Sharon Sala's "The Healer". I'm also reading "The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit," by Jill Conner Browne, a self-help book called "Mindless Eating," and I'm rereading Natalie Goldberg's "Writing Down The Bones."

Next up in fiction is either Amanda Stevens' "The Devil's Footprints," or one of Jodi Picoult's, Sophie Jordan's or Deeanne Gist's. "Weddings Can Be Murder" was sold out at the WHRWA meeting last month before I got a chance to get my hands on one, so I've got it and Tera Child's "Oh! My! Gods!" coming in this week from B&N. And I've heard a lot about a young adult called "Twilight." GAD, I'll never catch up. :-)

Oh, and I'll be rereading Colleen Thompson's upcoming release, "Triple Exposure," next week. Yep, Colleen's vicious. Christie, you tell Steve to be careful messin' around with her. Not only that, but I'll just bet her Mike doesn't share. :-)

Jo Anne

Christie Craig said...

Jo Anne,

Your to-be-read containers sound pretty full too. I've read several of your books, too. Susan E. Phillips is one of my must read authors. Amanda Stevens is another scary gal.

Tera's book is on my list as well.

Now, I've warned hubby that Colleen be a bit wicked. But hey...he deserves what he gets. :-)

Thanks for posting girl.

Crime Scene Christie

Jana DeLeon said...

ROFLOL Christie!!! Hey, at least he's into your profession and that's cool. :)

Right now I am reading a horror book (haven't read one in years), and a suspense novel. And sometimes I try to read that first book by Eckert Tolle, but I think I've decided I'm just not deep enough to care.

RachaelfromNJ said...

Too funny Christie! You crack me up! :) Right now I am reading Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. I know. I am like the only person left on earth who hasn't read the series yet. LOL

And I will be reading Skin and Bones by Kathryn Fox in between reading this book.

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