Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Does This Horse Make My Butt Look Big?

So I took my troop horseback riding Sunday - I know - you just CAN'T get enough of my girl scout stories.  Anyway, It was a gorgeous, autumn afternoon - peaceful and quiet as we rode through the woods for ninety minutes.  Oh sure, there was the occasional horse in front of you stopping to crap - a VERY disturbing sight up close - but the weather was perfect and the leaves were turning.  Aside from the girls snickering every time a horse stopped to 'go,' it was idyllic.

The girls got to choose their horses.  Of course my daughter (see above) - the super tall kid, picks the Welsh pony.  She looked like and adult riding a dog.  I asked her why she chose him, and she said, "Cuz I thought we'd look weird together."  In a strange way, that made total sense to me.

Once the girls were done, Jo, the horse facilitator said to her staff, "Bring out the 'Adult' horses."  For a moment I thought maybe these were horses rescued from the porn industry.  But then my friend Lisa leaned over and translated, "She means the horses who can handle us big girls."  I prefer to think that these are the maverick mustangs that only she and I can handle.

Of course, Lisa gets Rusty - the Hannibal Lechter of horses - as is evidenced by the above photo.  Jo insists that Rusty does not have an obsessive need to consume human flesh with a nice chianti and fava beans - he just won't stop eating grass...EVER.  That's why he has the cage on his face.  Maybe - but I stood two steps back, just in case.

This is me on my trusty steed, Apache - breathing fire through his nostrils as he chomps at the bit to charge off into the sunset.  Except that the stallion was really a mare.  And she was very sweet.  And her name was Shelley.  I tried not to be disappointed, but she wouldn't rear up on her hind legs - not even a little.

Here you can see how tiny Meg's horse was.  Lauren - in the top photo - is as tall as Meg.  She picked a normal sized horse.  Not my kid.

Jo asked if they wanted to groom the horses when they were done.  These are girls who I KNOW have to be held at gunpoint to brush their cats or dogs at home - I was certain they'd say no.

I was wrong.  They brushed these horses like they were giving them professional massages at a horse day spa.

In the end - it was a great day, even if I didn't get to gallop into the sunset.  Once my butt stops hurting, maybe I'll think about doing it again.  Someday.

The Assassin


Unknown said...

Looks like it was a goog time for all

Unknown said...

Looks like it was a goog time for all

Hellie Sinclair said...

Curry combing a horse is much different than brushing a cat. (I won't even dignify with a dog.) I'd choose curry combing anytime. That is, if my eyes didn't swell shut and I started sneezing like a sonofagun.

Leslie Langtry said...

Steve - it was fun. If only we could be eating cake while riding...that would be something special.

Leslie Langtry said...

Hellie - the girls loved doing it, and the horses, who were matted and sweaty from the ride - seemed to appreciate it. I dunno - give me a hot stone massage and a seaweed wrap and I'm happy.

Terri Osburn said...

I haven't been on a horse in ages but the last time I was I distinctly remember not being able to sit for several days. So kudos to you.

Love that you take these girls on so many cool adventures. YOU are the coolest mom ever.

Leslie Langtry said...

Tell my kids that, would ya? ;)

Brandy said...

I haven't been horse back riding since I was a teen. You're a brave, brave woman.

Leslie Langtry said...

Thanks Brandy! You should go again. I loved it!