Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My Dream Job

While I'm on the subject of promotion (even though you don't know that yet) I want to let you know that for this week, 'SCUSE ME WHILE I KILL THIS GUY is on sale for 99cents on Amazon Kindle! Check out www.dailycheapreads.com for more great books on sale!

Okay, so I now know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be the guy who comes up with promotional materials. Not pens or squeezy stress things (although I must admit, squeezy things are my favorite!) - but the more, unique stuff. I think I can come up with better crap than what's out there. For example...



Ah, the old 55 gal. drum mug. You already think of your coffee as hazardous sludge. But someone came up with the idea that you can really convince yourself and others that you only drink the worst.




This is a clock. It doesn't run on batteries or solar power, no no! It runs on liquids. Any liquids. They advertise it as a survival thing for when you are starving and thirsty in the wilderness and absolutely MUST know what time it is! They claim it can run on water, juice or beer. No word on whether it runs on urine or not. Of course, if you ARE trapped in the wild, starving and thirsty and absolutely MUST know what time it is, that may be your only option. Unless you are in the dessert and dehydrated, that is. Then, you're pretty much screwed.


And for the anal-retentive germaphobe (you know who you are), not only is this keyboard safe in soap and water - it is also antimicrobial! I have found peanutbutter, almond slivers and pudding on my keyboard but have never, ever felt the need to wash it in a sink.

This is one I would've invented and I certainly would've bought it, had it been around when STAND BY YOUR HITMAN came out. That's right - it's a wacky wall walker! It doesn't look like an octopus but it does come in yellow. I might actually have to look into this one. I wonder where I'd put the explosives...

What would you invent for promotions if you could?

The Assassin

8 comments:

TerriOsburn said...

I thought that last one was a personal massager. :)

I would invent some cute, thin, lightweight electronic gadget that could hold thousands of books at my fingertips.

Wait...

Leslie Langtry said...

I know what you mean. I wish I'd thought of scoopable cat litter.

TerriOsburn said...

I'd take the straw.

Leslie Langtry said...

Hmmm, who invented the straw? I'll have to google that.

catslady said...

Oh I want that keyboard!! My daughter bought me a wireless for Christmas and I used it for less than a month when one of my cats knocked over a glass of cherry juice! Totally ruined (big sigh).

Leslie Langtry said...

I don't know...was the cherry juice part of a bitchin' martini?

MsHellion said...

Dude, I tried to come up with something all day yesterday and I could think of NOTHING. It was so sad. Originality has never been my strong suit.

catslady said...

hahahaha I wish it was a martini lol. About 4 years ago I learned about concentrated, organic tart cherry juice - full of antioxidants. I am usually a skeptic but it really helps aches and pains (joints for one thing). Of course, I drink red wine for the same reason lol.