Monday, April 11, 2011

Top Ten Signs You're a Writer on a Deadline - by Diane Kelly

I used to wonder why writers seemed to disappear when they were on a deadline. I assumed that if they simply managed their time better a deadline would be no big deal.

Boy was I naïve!

I just faced my first real deadline with book #2 in my Death and Taxes Series. I’m thrilled with my draft for “Death, Taxes, and a Skinny No-Whip Latte” and even finished a couple of days early. But I have to admit, I suffered momentary bouts of total panic. Basically, when a writer is on a deadline, everything – AND I DO MEAN EVERYTHING! – goes by the wayside until the project is completed. There’s simply not time to complete your project and live any semblance of a normal life.

Having compared my experience with other authors, I’ve come up with the Top Ten Signs You’re a Writer on a Deadline:

1) Your last three meals consisted of cold cereal, potato chips, and that unidentifiable sludge from the Tupperware in the back of the fridge.

2) Your kids are smiling mischievously because they’ve gotten away with something you didn’t catch them doing.

3) You can’t see the top of your desk, your coffee table, or any of your kitchen countertops because all of them are covered with neglected paperwork, laundry, and dishes.

4) Your toenails now resemble claws.

5) Your eyebrows have merged into one giant unibrow.

6) You’ve been wearing – and sleeping in – the same clothes for the past week.

7) You spray yourself with Lysol because it’s faster than showering.

8) Your legs now resemble a cave woman’s since there’s been no time to shave.

9) Even if you could find time to shower and shave, it wouldn’t matter because you’ve neglected to pay your bills and your water has been shut off.

10) Your husband hasn’t requested that you fulfill certain wifely duties due to #4 – #9 above.

When you get busy, what do you have to let go of? We'd love to hear it!

Diane Kelly is the author of the "Death & Taxes" humorous mystery series from St. Martin's Press. Her debut novel, "Death, Taxes, and a French Manicure", is available for pre-order now at the Amazon, Borders, and Barnes & Noble sites, and will be in bookstores November 1st.


Unknown said...

Check. Check. And...check.

This last basketball season my daughter's coach called to find out why she'd missed the last practice. I couldn't remember if she'd gone or not. I call it book brain.

Although, my kids don't usually try to get anything over on me. They're my little helpers. But I bribe them with a trip to a water park or a movie, or whatever they want to do after I've finished.

We've also watched The Shining together multiple times. That's how I've trained my family to respect my writing time. *grin* Just pause it at specific moments and look at each one pointedly.

Diane Kelly said...

Oooooh, I love "The Shining Technique." Very Clever! I'm going to try it!

Thanks, Saranna!

Robin Kaye said...

I missed several of my daughter's Nutcracker performances to finish On the Wild Side, I rescheduled dentist and dr appts. and I worked for 28 hours straight. Can't remember how often I showered in those last couple of weeks. It was scary!