Wednesday, February 10, 2010

This Is My Brain On Winter...Any Questions?


A woodpecker's tongue has a thin bone in it and curls around its skull because it's so long. I was shocked, because I thought only bassett hounds and Gene Simmons could do that.


My next pet...a capybara, or Rodent Of Unusual Size. They're legal in Texas. It's like a prehistoric guinea pig...wearing a saddle for a monkey...


This is a duck and his penis. Kind of gives Vlad the Impaler's nickname a run for it's money, eh?


Because it's winter, and because I need a laugh (or I'll die), I'm offering a copy of your choice of one of the Bombay books, signed by moi, for the best caption you can come up with to these pictures. I'll pick a winning caption for each photo.


The Assassin






18 comments:

Squirt said...

For the rodent pic:
"At some point, lady, you have to fall asleep. Then I will eek my revenge. No one dresses up Bubbles. At least, not more than once."

MsHellion said...

There are no words.

Though my brain is looking at the bird tongue, thinking, "Wow, if his tongue can do that, imagine what he can do to his girlfriend? Tweety bird would definitely have something to tweet about."

Frankly the ROUS frightens me to death. I would not want something that could possibly maul me to death in the night. And I'm sorry, but the woman's head looks tiny in the picture next to that beast. All I can think is The Princess Bride: "Rodents of Unusual Size? They don't exist."--and then he's attacked.

Noooo comment on the duck penis.

Leslie Langtry said...

HA! I have such funny friends? No takers yet on the duck penis?

TerriOsburn said...

That totally explains why ducks mate for life. Or is that geese?

Picture 2 - Screw you, and the rodent you rode in on.

Oh, and doesn't this make you wonder what kind of super-bird you'd get if you crossed the duck and the woodpecker?

Anonymous said...

I want to know why the duck penis is so squiggly...

MsHellion said...

A Woodpecker crossed with a Duck--is that like the Fabio of the Avian World?

Virginia said...

The duck-The better to please you with my dear. That answer your question Anonymous

I will have to think about the others

TerriOsburn said...

I don't know, the duck thing sort of takes "screwing" to a new, literal level. And how does the female duck not cough?

Wendy Roberts said...

No captions ... I'm busy wiping the coffee off my monitor! Thanks for the laugh!

Kristi said...

Sorry I ate the cat *burp*

Come here my little chicken

catslady said...

Duck: You've got the pictures mixed up - I'm the one that should be called a "wood pecker".

Leslie Langtry said...

Now I'M cleaning Diet Coke off my monitor! You guys crack me up!

Refhater said...

I got nothing for the woodpecker pic. Nothing that's not "Tongue-in-cheek." anyway.

For the Capybara one: "Everything is bigger in Texas , including the rodents.

All I can come up with for the duck penis is "prophyAFLAC" (prophylactic and the Aflac insurance duck.)

Thanks for the laugh. How in the world did you find such odd pictures?

Sandy said...

LOL Winter leaves me the same way.

For the rodent pic: Ride 'em cowboy.

Chelsea B. said...

Picture 1: "This is a skeleton. No matter how many times you try, it will not talk back."

Picture 2: "Don't you even think about riding me, you crazy loon."

Picture 3: "This isn't photoshopped, ladies...."

That's all my sleep-needed brain can come up with! Loved reading everyone's comments!

Leslie Langtry said...

OMG are you guys ever creative! This is gonna be tough.

Virginia said...

1 This will make your toung slap your brains out.

2 Come on baby I'll take you for a ride.

Abigail Beal said...

Hello :)

Okay...I'll give this a try. :)

1. Those Airport X-Ray Machines Really Go Too Far...

2. Reindeer Ready for the Mini-Me Santa Claus

3. Go F*ck A Duck...Insult or Dare?

:) Abigail