Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Christie's Top Three Deep, Dark Secrets


Okay…I’m back in Houston. And I’d like to formally invite all of you to Faye Hughes’ wake. Her final resting place will be in my compost pile. Gotta love friends like that, don’t cha?

And the winner of the GOTCHA book is . . .
vicariousrising. Please email me at christie(at) christie - craig.com.

Okay, first, pay no attention to what the “Posted By” thingy says this morning on the Killer Fiction blog. Christie didn’t write today’s entry. I did. (With “I” being Faye Hughes, Christie’s non-fiction writing partner.) Christie’s not here –she’s in Alabama visiting her daddy and will be flying back today. She hasn’t even read the blog entry and won’t see the comments until much later tonight.

Cue all the Evil music.

I mean, silly Christie. Giving me access to her blog and asking me to “write something funny” in her absence. Why, I told her when we were in Orlando for RT and she started pointing and laughing at me when I accidentally ripped a seam in my brand-new PJ bottoms (Hint: Items marked down for a quick sale may have been marked down for a reason) that she would be sorry one day.

And today is most definitely that day.

Christie Craig’s Top Three Deepest, and Darkest, Secrets:

1. Christie has an unnatural affection for her bra.

I’m not joking. The woman is practically obsessed with it. During the RWA national conference in Dallas a couple of years ago, the fire alarm went off and woke everyone on our floor. Teri Thackston, our other roommate, and I were getting dressed and grabbing our most important items. (For me, that was my phone; for Teri, it was her pearls.) I pulled on some pants, grabbed some shoes and was ready to go. Ditto Teri.

Not so for Christie.

She couldn’t find her bra.

What’s more, she wasn’t leaving the room without it.

I told her to forget it, to grab her purse and let’s go. She looked at me like I was crazy. “Are you crazy?” she said, just confirming that my interpretation of the look she’d given me was dead-on. “I’m not going anywhere without my bra!”

Now, tell the truth: Isn’t that kinda strange?

2. Christie has an unnatural affection for hats.

Okay, this one is even weirder than the bra. Everybody knows that Christie wears her hats when she is at a writers’ conference but did you know she wears them even when she’s not? Trips to the supermarket, lunch with friends and you’ll find Christie wearing one of her hats. Better than that, she even wore them when she was a kid. Don’t believe me, take a look at the evidence.

Psst . . . I’ve written her mom and asked for baby shots to see how long this hat obsession has been going on. I’ll keep you posted on what I discover.

3. Christie’s books are more fact than fiction—all of that whacky, over the top stuff she writes about actually happens to her.

Okay, I know she’s shared a lot of her funny experiences with you guys here at the blog, like the time she got felt up by the elephant at the zoo or the real reason the Craig household has hardwood floors. What you may not realize is that she wasn’t exaggerating any of it.

Take what happened the first time I roomed with her at a writing conference. We were in New York City and around 7:00 in the morning, there was this loud pounding on our door. I got up just as this man dressed in a black business suit inserted the master key card into our door and came inside. He saw me and said . . . and I’m not making this chit up . . . “Security, ma’am. This is your 7:00 am wakeup call.”

I kinda nodded – what the heck else could I do? I was in my PJs and half-asleep – and then he turned and left the room.

Christie jumps up and grabs her bra. “What just happened?”

“Beats me.”

“Did he come into the room?”

“Yep,” I said, still half-asleep. “But I don’t remember asking for a wakeup call.”

And we hadn’t. What’s more, the front desk said that “Security” never delivered personal wake-up calls.

Weird, huh? I guess there is a reason they call her Crime Scene Christie.

So, there you have it. Christie’s top three deepest and darkest secrets. Now, I probably will be taking a little vacation after today but in the time I have left, I’d love to hear from you guys. If you were told to evacuate your hotel room, would you grab your bra? What do you think the real reason Christie wears all those hats? Have you ever had “Security” give you a morning wake-up call? And best of all, do you think Christie is going to kill me for sharing her secrets?

Oh, and one final thing. Christie is giving away a copy of GOTCHA!, her new release from Dorchester this week. I was lucky enough to read GOTCHA! as she was writing it and it is my favorite book of hers - so far, anyway. (Just wait till DD&Deceived comes out this winter! Oh, man! What a hoot!!) Be sure you come back next week. Christie is giving away some goodies to celebrate the release of GOTCHA!, not only here but at a lot of blogs and places. She'll have links and info in next week's post.



Michelle said...

Hi Faye,

Oh man that is too funny.......and I'm not sure if i'd be searching around for my bra during a fire drill, but you never know. I'd definitely be going for the pants, though i'd probably already have those on and would just need shoes. Definitely shoes, can't go barefoot in those places.

That security thing is definitely a hoot, and scary at that. Why Christie wears the hats?......maybe she's got a much bigger head than she wants everyone to know....by big head, I mean literally--not full of herself,lol.

Can't wait for Gotcha to come out, i've loved her other books and will love this one even more I bet.


Anonymous said...

Hi, Michelle,

Thanks for agreeing with me on the whole bra thing. When they are saying, "evacuate now!" and you can hear fire trucks racing toward the building, searching for a bra probably isn't the smartest move to make. (Even if it was mostly a false alarm thingy.)

The "Security Wakeup Call" was beyond bizarre but Christie blames me for it. You see, I'd actually gotten on an earlier flight and arrived in NYC an hour before my luggage did. But, mostly, I think the weird chit happens because Christie is a weird chit magnet.

Thanks for dropping by! And I'm sure you will love reading Gotcha!


Kim Lionetti said...


I can't really make fun of Christie's bra story. During that same fire drill, I actually tried on several jackets before I found the one that best matched my pajamas for my evacuation attire.

And are you sure that "security guard" wasn't Chris Keeslar tracking down a late manuscript????


terrio said...

I have to admit, I'd be the same way about the bra. When your girls are on the large side and glancing your knees without the support (NOT that I'm implying anything about the vicinity of Christie's girls without support), you NEVER go out without a bra on. It's a security blanket kind of thing.

I probably would have grabbed my phone and laptop, after the bra and shoes.

robynl said...

talk about up close and personal with the wake-up call; I've never had someone in person wake me up in a hotel. Wow!!!
My bra would have been past history but who knows what Christie's reason was.
I'm sure her book is funny just by reading these facts.
Must read this book and check out others.

MsHellion said...

That's just FUNNY. And I already figured she wasn't making up nearly half of the stuff in her books. It sounded too much like crap that happens to me.

And I'm a little spooked by the wakeup call! *LOL*

Congrats, Christie, on GOTCHA coming out this week! You deserve it!

Estella said...

Too funny.
I would probably grab my purse and a pair of shoes.

Anonymous said...


Okay, next time we have a fire drill at National, I'm rooming with Jessica and you can room with Christie. LOL.

And now that you mention it, the "security" guy was kinda tall with dark hair. Sneaky Chris!

Thanks for dropping by!


Anonymous said...

LOL, Terrio.

I hear ya about the gravity thing and the girls. I'll add you to the roommate list next fire drill at national, okay? LOL.

Thanks for dropping by.


Refhater said...

OMG! I needed that. Thanks for the laughs. Congrats on Gotcha!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Robinl,

Trust me. Christie's books are very funny. The Divorced and Desperate series are a lot funnier than her stand alone but they're all great.

Thanks for dropping by!


Anonymous said...

Hi, MsHellion,

The whole "Security wake up call" thing was just plain weird but it's so typical of life with Christie. LOL.

Thanks for dropping by. She's celebrating her release date next week, so be sure and come back. (I'm sure she'll have a funny story about Alabama, too. LOL.)


Anonymous said...


Now, see. You and I would get along great during those fire drills at national. LOL.

Thanks for dropping by!


Anonymous said...

Hi, Refhater,

Glad you enjoyed the blog, and thanks for dropping by!


RK said...

Hi Faye,

Actually, I'd already read that bit about the bra. But it was still funny second time around.

And the security guy was weird...hmm, was he at least cute? Will he be a future hero in one of Christie's books?

And please throw my name in the hat for GOTCHA!

Anonymous said...

Hi, RK,

Hmm. That "Security Wakeup Call" guy was kinda cute now that I think about it. I bet he will end up in one of Christie's books. lol.

Thanks for dropping by and good luck!


vicariousrising said...

I wear my bra to sleep, so I wouldn't get caught in a fire emergency without one.

I had wondered about how frequently she accessorized with hats. ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi, VicariousRising,

Okay, you SLEEP with your bra? I think you beat Christie when it comes to unnatural affection for bras. LOL.

Thanks for dropping by!


Alexis said...

I don't know...I can definitely relate to the bra experience. I would have to be personally on fire to leave a hotel room to roam around on a city street braless. So yes, besides saving family members, I would also go for the bra first thing.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Alexis,

Okay, I can hear Christie saying, "See! I'm not the only one!" as I read your comment. LOL.

Thanks for posting!


Virginia said...

Great post and yes I believe this of Christie. Her books are just to funny and I love reading her blog post. She cracks me up. Thanks for sharing these tips about her and the bra thing was really funny. Well have to ask her about that.

LuAnn said...

Yep! I think you may be in trouble here!

And no, I wouldn't worry about grabbing my bra. The purse and laptop would come first!

Caffey said...

LOL. I was laughing so hard reading this Faye. It made my day so much better! LOL. Some of us just won't go no where without our bras :D Oh gosh on the security wake up call. I still can't stop laughing!

Congrats on GOTCHA. You sure got Christie (Hi Christie! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi, Virginia,

I'm a huge fan of Christie's humor, too. (And I really hope she still has some of that humor left after she reads the blog. lol.)

Thanks for dropping by!


Anonymous said...

Hi, LuAnn,

I think you may be right. *looks around nervously*

Thanks for dropping by!


Anonymous said...

Hi, Caffey,

I'm glad you enjoyed the blog.

Thanks for dropping by!

Faye, who thinks it's time to make a fast getaway

Terry said...

hey christie , tell faye i sleep with mine one too.