Wednesday, March 07, 2012

The Fox family crest? You're looking at it.

We went to a wedding on my husband's side of the family recently, and as we waited for the ceremony to begin, something felt off.

Everything was lovely. The church was beautiful. The waiting groomsmen were happy. I couldn't figure out what was wrong until the bride's sister lit a series of delicate aisle sconces with a long, gold taper. And then it hit me.

No one in my family would do that - because someone else in my family would have crushed the dainty aisle sconces before the bride's sister could get to them. You see, I come from a family of klutzes. Pick an event, any family event, and somebody will fall, topple the Christmas tree, hit another family member's car (Wrecks have happened on several occasions actually. We should phrase invitations: Come to the Fox Family Reunion. Bring your insurance card).

So yes, weddings can be a cause of jitters. We want things to go off without a hitch. We need it to happen. Yet, it never quite turns out that way.

Take my brother. He was married in a beautiful historic church in St. Louis. It had just undergone a restoration and had new everything. The caretakers obviously didn't know my family's history or they never would have let us set foot inside the place.

During rehearsal, they showed us a lovely table - original to the church -where the communion wine would be placed. To complicate matters, they wanted the table in the middle of a long aisle, surrounded by my family members. My soon to be sister-in-law protested. She'd been to enough Fox events to know what she was dealing with. Besides, the table was old, it had survived generations and it had very thin legs. The wedding planner - who we likened to the blonde cheerleader in every horror movie who has to go outside to see what that noise is - disregarded sister-in-law's concerns about her new family.

We took bets on who would accidentally knock over the crystal decanter first. I was especially worried, given I had to walk past the delicate table, in a powder pink bell-skirted dress. You just don't know what the clearance will be on an outfit like that. Thank goodness my cousin, Matt, got to it first. He was an usher, leading people to their seats. Before the ceremony even began, he backed into the table, breaking the crystal pitcher and soaking the church's new carpeting in wine.

Matt was embarrassed to say the least. I'm ashamed to admit that the rest of us were a bit relieved. We knew someone would "Fox-up" that day, and at least it wasn't one of us. Besides, the table survived. That's success in our book.

And it was a comforting thought as I waited for my husband's family wedding to begin. (Well, once I was safely in my seat and away from anything breakable.) I'd avoid the Fox curse … at least for the time being.


Kima said...

OMG, Angie! Your family sounds like MY family! It's not a family get-together unless someone breaks something or gets hurt. My biggest fear at my wedding was tripping - up/down the aisle, on the stairs, stepping on my dress - anything that would make me go down like a water buffalo. Thank God nothing happened to me, but my five-year-old flower girl niece winged her too-big bracelet off her wrist when she was straigtening my train and knocked a guest in the head with it. So I guess that counts!

Brandy said...

I can relate. Our family can trip going UP stairs. *g*