Thursday, March 08, 2012

Did you hear the one about the blonde who...?

I'm currently hard at work on my seventh Calamity Jayne Mystery. As some of you know, each one of my books opens with a 'dumb blonde' joke. Not just any dumb blonde joke, but a joke that is carefully selected to be consistent with a major element of that particular story. I'm always on the lookout for a good blonde joke. I recruit family, friends, and fellow authors to send me blonde jokes.

When I wrote for my former publisher, I always provided several blonde jokes just in case my editor didn't like (or get) the one I had chosen. That happened just once out of six books and I ended up having to go with a back-up blonde joke.

No sweat. I've got a million of 'em.

But my current book? It's presenting a bit of a challenge for me. You see, I need a blonde tandem bike (as in bicycle) joke. Or a tandem joke that can be made over into a blonde biker joke. So far, I've only found a couple and I'm not real gung-ho about either of them.

So, here's what I need from you. Below you'll find the blonde tandem biker jokes I'm considering so far. Once you've read them, tell me which you like best.

Or, better yet, post a really good tandem blonde biker joke so I'll have a better selection to choose from. If I end up using your suggestion, I'll acknowledge you in my book! (All jokes must be clean!) :)

Okay. Here are the ones I'm considering so far:


Two blondes are riding along on a tandem, when suddenly, the blonde on the front slams on the brakes, gets off and starts letting air out of the tires.

The blonde on the back yells: "HEY! What are you doing that for!?"
The first blonde replies,"My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit."
The blonde on the back has had enough. She jumps off, loosens her own seat, and spins it round to face the other direction.
Now it's the first blonde's turn to wonder what's going on. "What are you doing?" she asks her friend.
"Look," says the blonde rider in the back, "if you're going to do stupid stuff like that, I'm going home!!"

A blonde and her boyfriend were riding a tandem up a hill and having a difficult time.

"Phew, that was a brutal climb!" the boyfriend said, leaning over and breathing hard. "That climb was so tough and we were going so slow, I thought we were never going to make it!"

"Yeah," agreed the blonde. "Good thing I kept the brakes on or we'd have slid all the way back down!"

All righty. Weigh in. Which is less...sucky? Do you have a better one to contribute? I'd love to hear it!

Thanks! You're the best...!

~Bullet Hole~


Zita said...

For true blondeness I prefer the first one. Unfortunately I have no tandem bike blonde joke for you, or even a tandem bike joke. Sorry :-(

Terri Osburn said...

The first one made me laugh and I didn't guess the punchline before the end. The second is too obvious. I didn't even chuckle.

But if I can think of another one, I'll let you know.

AnonymousWoman said...

Definitely the first one. It actually made me laugh!

Audrey said...

I liked the first one the most :) It was a more unexpected punchline, which made it funnier. I am very excited you are writing another book - it will be a print book, not just e-book, right? Please? LOVE all of your other books!!

Afsheen said...

thats really good and excieting
Blonde Jokes