Monday, February 07, 2011

A Memo to God

Dear God,

I know your job is crazy - the middle east is always a mess and there's volcanoes erupting and flooding and stuff and so many people are praying and you have to listen to them all - but could you please check your super-duper-weather scheduling map and remove the "bitter cold, ice and snow" from Texas? It's Texas, remember? Hot, sometimes humid, sometimes dry, rarely, rarely, rarely cold and almost never covered with snow?

Texans aren't prepared for snow. The word "counter-steer" is not in their vocabulary and they think anti-lock brakes are meant to be ridden every square inch of the road. Even worse, many, many people moved here from New England to get away from this weather, and not only are they right back in it, now they're in it with a bunch of fools.

So if you could just heat it up a little. Not much, just above freezing for the rest of eternity is all I ask.

Your Child,
Deadly (I've-been-locked-in-my-house-and-am-losing-my-mind) DeLeon

23 comments:

Refhater said...

Us Michiganians could use a break from the snow and ice as well. We may be used to it, but 11 inches with 3-5 foot drifts and a negative 15 wind chill in one day is a bit much for us as well. (The lower peninsula at least, those Yoopers are loving it!)

If you do go out, PLEASE be careful on the roads. Where ever you live. TURN OFF THE POWER STEERING! My mom hit a patch of ice going 55 mph, spun into a ditch, went airborne, rolled the car 3 times and then landed upside down 80-100 yards into a field this past Saturday. Thankfully she was able to walk away shaken, bruised, sore, and with 12 staples in her head. It happened 7 miles from her house, so I saw the accident scene on the way to see her at the ER. Which is something that I'll never forget.

Counting my blessings here.. Looking forward to when we can complain it's "SO HOT!" Hope you have a good day today Jana.

TerriOsburn said...

Refhater - That sounds horrifying and I'm glad to hear she walked away. Wow.

It took me several years, but I finally landed somewhere with mostly mild winters. I'm in Va Beach and there's something about our geography sitting out here into the ocean a little bit that everything blows around us.

It can be snowing in NC and covering Richmond one hour to our north, but we don't get it. And though with windchill it can feel like the 20s sometimes, temps generally stay in the 30s and 40s.

I know I'd be pretty peeved if I moved to Texas to get away from winter and it followed me! Hope it warms up soon, Jana.

krisgils33 said...

May I suggest that you also copy your letter to Mother Nature? Wouldn't hurt to have a little back-up. As a former hard-core New Englander who has lived in Miami, the Deep South, and the Metro-DC areas, I'm with you on keeping the snow and freezing temps where they belong, like Canada.

Jana DeLeon said...

Yikes, Refhater! I'm glad your mom was okay. That sounds very scary. My biggest car wreck (not caused by me) was in ice two years ago and as I was turning into my neighborhood. Ten more feet and I'd have been home free. sigh

Jana DeLeon said...

Terri - maybe I need to move to Virginia Beach! That sounds ideal.

Jana DeLeon said...

kris - I will get right on copying Mother Nature, but I'm wondering if she has a sense of humor and this is all her fault. :)

Christie Craig said...

Jana,

LOL. Being in Texas, I'm with you girl. I'm gonna write him a memo, too.

Maybe between us both, he'll listen. Ya think???

CC

Jana DeLeon said...

Christie - with both of us on him, I think he'd be forced to fix it just to get us to shut up. :)

Misha said...

Maybe the people who want to escape the snow should consider moving more south.

As in South Africa.

We're dying of heat and praying for precipitation of any form...

:-)

MsHellion said...

Amen, sister!

Jana DeLeon said...

Misha - I will send some your way. We're supposed to get more on Tuesday night. How does sleet and snow sound? :)

Jana DeLeon said...

Preach it, MsHellion!

Brandy said...

My theory is that Mother Nature is off her meds. *g*

Jana DeLeon said...

Brandy - do you think she could be in menopause? I mean, she's not young, right? LOL

Leslie Langtry said...

Jana - you had me at "other stuff."

Jana DeLeon said...

Leslie - I know you're right there with me. But the good news is, I got to wear the demon mask!

Tori Lennox said...

I'm pretty sure Mother Nature needs to be medicated....

Refhater, that is so scary about your mom!

Robin Kaye said...

I think we're entering another Little Ice Age --and let me tell you, after over 100 inches of snow last year, and another 20 so far this year, I'm sick to death of it. I'm south of the Mason Dixon Line and I feel as if I live on the North Pole! I'm thinking that Global Warming would be a good thing.

Jana DeLeon said...

Tori - maybe we can take up a collection for meds. :)

Jana DeLeon said...

Robin - so true. Every time I hear "global warming" I want to headslap someone. We're sorta having the opposite problem. Maybe a polar shift?

Estella said...

The global warming is in the Pacific Northwest. Sixty degree weather in January and February is not natural!

Jana DeLeon said...

Estella - so you're saying we should all move to the Pacific northwest? I'm game. :)

oregonsunshine said...

I love the pic of your fluffy pup in the snow! I'm a transplanted Alaskan, myself, so the snow we had here in GA last month was no biggie. The ice storm had me missing my ice grips that got lost in our move. Never would have thought I'd needed them here.