Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Behold! The Noble Basset!

The Basset never wins Westminster. I have to ask why? A noble, French breed, meant to hunt rodents and badgers. His nose is Romanesque, to say the least.

Okay, so they may have a few flaws. Like a skull tougher than rebar (that feels like rebar when it connects with my shin on a weekly basis) and a tiny, tiny brain (his nose is bigger). They suffer from dwarfism, which is how such a big dog is so low to the ground. They step on their ears...a lot - in fact they never grow out of that.

And they drool. Our basset (above), Luke, when he shakes can spray his drool in a ten foot radius and I have scrubbed basset drool more than six feet high on the wall. And don't get me started on their nails. Luke's nails are thicker than my finger. I have used bolt cutters to cut them. Fortunately, bassets are so clueless, you can cut all their nails before they even realize what you're doing.

And they follow their noses. They KNOW they aren't supposed to get into the garbage, but they just can't help themselves. We had a basset who ran for 2 miles with his nose to the ground before he looked up and discovered he was lost.

But think of the things they can do! They are amazing counter-surfers for a short dog! They can look miserably depressed when they are at their happiest! They love, love, LOVE you! Luke can dig up an underground mole and pluck it from the ground before the mole knows what's happening. And they are amazingly easy to fool. My basset will eat and spit out the same nasty thing 30 times, even though he sees me feed it to him over and over.

So, Westminster judges - you've failed us for 135 years. I'm starting lobbying now. Give the noble basset Best In Show!

Or my next victim in my next book, will be you!



18 comments:

Savannah Rose said...

I used to have Bassets and I even had a few litters over the years. My daughter now has the last 2 females and my ex-husband has the last male of our Basset family tree. My Bassets were black dominant and dry-mouth. Very unusual but they didn't slobber (and yes they were registered Bassets). The one who started it all was my beloved Daisy Mae. She passed away in 2009 at the age of 10. The funniest thing about my Daisy Mae and her "husband" Dexter was they thought they were lap dogs. Which you know is not an easy thing to accomplish because their long bodies do not bend very well. Your Luke is a beautiful Basset. I know you enjoy him every day.

Leslie Langtry said...

Savannah! Always great to meet another basset lover! Luke thinks he's a lap dog too. A 70lb. lap dog. Even though he's stubborn like a lunatic, I live for his groans and bays. He's a big sweetie and our 4th.

TerriOsburn said...

My daughter wants a Basset badly, but you just convinced me that won't happen. LOL! Her grandparents have one named Rolo and everytime she goes to visit, she tries to bring him home. Thank goodness he's hard to sneak into an airport.

I'm just not a fan of drool. I could probably handle the rest.

Leslie Langtry said...

I wanted a basset as a kid. Actually, Luke is our first of four bassets who does drool. They really are clowns too. That alone, for me, is priceless.

MsHellion said...

I'm sorry, but I'm kinda excited the Irish wolfhound won. I've been a fan of that breed since I read the book Saving Grace by Julie Garwood.

The only basset hound I've ever liked was on the Dukes of Hazzard.

Afraid I prefer my dogs like I prefer my men: not too hairy, not too overbred (mutts preferred), lanky and lean, quirky ears, and a big grin.

I don't have a lot of patience for someone who looks miserable all the time. *LOL* Even if they can't help it, poor little bassets. *LOL*

Amanda Brice said...

My 1-year-old was absolutely enthralled by all the doggies on TV. She was talking to them and squealing with excitement.

For teh first 6 months of her life, her best friend was our beautiful Chow Lab, Bailey. And then he unexpectedly passed away. I'm still devastated.

Leslie Langtry said...

Hellie, the Scottish Deerhound won. But I love Irish Wolfhounds too - big softies!

Amanda - kids and dogs are amazing. (they can also be pains in the ass).

MsHellion said...

See, this is why I shouldn't own anything purebred--or probably even any sort of pet whatsoever. I wouldn't even know what I had!

"See my pet iguana?"
"That's a gila lizard, and you now have four minutes to live since it just bit you."

Leslie Langtry said...

I bet it won't surprise you a bit to know I once had a six-foot iguana named Cedric...

MsHellion said...

Not a bit. *LOL* But I think iguanas are totally cool...and I love the name Cedric. *LOL*

Leslie Langtry said...

I put the way he died in GUNS. True story.

Diane Kelly said...

I've got mutts. They never win the Winchester Dog Show either. : )

Leslie Langtry said...

Mutts should! I've had many over the years and they have always been the smartest, most loveable dogs ever!

I also have a pug - they never win either.

Brandy said...

The sad eyes on a Basset always tug at my heartstrings. I've always wanted one, but so far we're a cat family.

Leslie Langtry said...

I think that's why we have always had bassets and added a pug. We like dogs with faces with character.

I have two cats too. They crack me up.

MJoski said...

Luke is beautiful! We rescued our Basset, Max, in 2001. Shortly after we adopted him, I went through a year of chemo. As you can imagine, I did a lot of sleeping - my hubby has pictures of Max stretched full length on top of me as I snoozed. He's an old boy now (we think he must be at least 12) and I'm sure going to miss all of his little grunts and groans and whines when he passes on. The slobber.... I could defintely do without!

Robin Kaye said...

My dear friend has two bassets Ollie and Odie. They are lovable and clueless just like her last two, Effie and Emmie. God I love those dogs!

Estella said...

I had 2 Pekingeses and 2 Yorkshire Terriers and they don't win either.