Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Let's Talk About Press, Baby!

(I'm at RWA right now but I'll post the winner of last week's contest next Weds. I promise. I double-dog swear with a monkeybutt chaser.)

I had an interview last week that appeared in Sunday's local paper. I thought the interview went well. That should have tipped me off. I have done interviews for years on various subjects. And most of the time, they go pretty well. Sometimes, however, they suck outright.

The reporter asked me about social networking. I said that I didn't have enough time to do it all and I was in awe of people who could do it and not let it eat up there whole day, weekend, lifetime, leaving them feeling empty and craving the sweet taste of gunmetal... oh wait...what was I talking about? The article opened with;

"Leslie ________ (he used my real name? why not my address and bra size too?) 42 years old (REAL AGE??? He sealed his death warrant. I'm thinking something with honey, popsicles and morey eels) has no tolerance for people who use Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites."

Damn. He's got me. All those nights hunting those bastards armed with malt liquor and a baseball bat were wasted.

The reporter goes on to say, "Leslie is blunt and opinionated." Well that's nice. If they're gonna make stuff up, why not say that I have bubonic plague and use deviled ham as deoderant?

Then, as if he has a change of heart, he says that I'm "Witty and breezy." Oh yeah. That sums me up.

I guess it's possible to find better fiction in the newspaper than you can anywhere else.

I'm planning his death. Ideas?

The Assassin


Liz Fielding said...

Make him eat his words? I'm sure you can think of all the ways of doing that that are crowding into my head.

What a jerk.

Keri Ford said...

Oh, dear. What a complete a--.

I guess next time you should fake a sore throat and insist you type out your responses.

I think this is when you should get on your website and do a, "For all the people who read the newspaper interview, here's how it really went down. Question: blablabla. My answer: blablabla. And what Mr. FIRSTNAMELASTNAME decided I said instead."

Terry S said...

The only good thing is I'm sure you aren't the only one he has burned with his poor reporting skills. Sooner or later his lack of listening skills will come back and bite him without you doing a thing. His own performance will put the nail in his own coffin. Whoops, I mean limit his own reporting career, of course.

Gemma Halliday said...

What's his name? I think we just found the Bombay's latest mark, a reporter with a very loose grasp on reality.

I've found that smaller, local papers tend to be the worst. Somehow our local paper can do an entire three page article on something and I'll walk away from reading it wondering who and what it was even about.


P.S. Enjoy D.C.! Soooooooo jealous!

Cheeky Girl said...

I agree with Gemma - smaller papers are the worst! I used to be a book publicist and the small papers would make my authors jump through hoops while the NYT or Publishers Weekly where easy as pie.

The only real response to something like this is no reponse -it makes it into an even bigger deal. If it's a really horrible twist of an interview, that would be a email to the reporter,s boss letting them know how unprofessional x reporter was.

Oh yeah, and you could always threaten them with "When I'm an Oprah Book Club Pick/ Multi-Million Dollar Author then you'll never get another interview with me!" Okay - last part is just kidding. Seriously kidding.

Leslie Langtry said...

I could make him choke on his words! Death by newspaper! You guys are really supportive and I really appreciate that! I'll definitely have to write in a murder like that!

Meanwhile in DC, my roomie shows me her gorgeous, black silk pajamas and I show her...My Maleficent nightshirt that reads, "Naughty Girls Need Rest Too."

She won the classy jammies competition.

Suzan Harden said...

Drown him in ink? Head caught in a press? Stabbed through the heart with a ballpoint pen?

Hellie Sinclair said...

You can sic your stalkers on him. We'll take care of him. He won't be missed. He's just jealous you have a larger reading audience than he does.

Leah Hultenschmidt said...

I vote for toxic newsprint that rubs off all over his fingers. This guy gives journalists everywhere a bad name.