Before and Afters Part One

It's 'that' time of year again. Days are growing shorter and heating bills begin to creep upwards. Leaves are falling right along with the temperatures--not to mention, my spirits. The 'S' word is in the forecast. We're getting down to the wire. Outdoor projects must either be completed or languish through a long, miserable winter along with the rest of us poor suckers who must contend with another Heartland winter.

As you know, I've been working on my house and garage exteriors. I've spent more time on a ladder this summer than some folks spend in a lifetime and my hair has sported more bizarre color combos than I'd care to think about.

It's crunch time.

And I'm nearing the finish line. (No snorts or snarky remarks allowed!)

Yesterday I spent the day on the ladder painting over spots I'd missed--or been too terrified to do a good job the first time around. I managed to finish the garage--or at least call it as good as it gets for this year. So you'll know how I spent some of my summer 'vacation' I thought I'd post some before and after pics of the garage. So here is my flat roof garage before it's 'facelift'.

And here is the 'after' pics.

Some people have commented that my garage looks like a tiny little house now! As you may recall, the side of the garage with the walk-in door and large window used to be my office. Until the roof began to leak. So, next spring, I'll do a total re-do of my office area and update it and, hopefully, swing a new garage door and opener. Whoo hoo!

Next week I'll post pics of the house. I should have most of the clutter associated with my long-term do-it-herself projects put away and out of sight for the winter.

Any last minute projects that need your attention or are you good to go for the coming winter months?

Today it is rainy and cold here so I plan to do laundry, write, and munch on corn candy and peanuts...uh, not necessarily in that order.

~Bullet Hole~

Oh I'm Knitting Up A Ski Mask For You...Not An Ordinary Ski Mask Will Do...

So, on one of our daily rants to each other about who should die and who should be our slaves, Deadly DeLeon mentions she'd like a ski mask. Of course, I offer immediately to knit one for her and ask her what color she'd like. She tells me turquoise is her favorite color. Go figure. I saw her as a "fairy princess pink" chick. Oh well.

I can't just knit ANY old ski mask. This has to be special. After all, there has to be a reason to own a wool ski mask when you live in Texas.

So I find this pattern online. It's called Bokaclava and was designed by a knitter who fancied some gargoyle or demon on Dr. Who, named Bok. (Subversive knitters rock.)

It's almost done. That's me modeling the main part of it while knitting one of the pointed ears. Once the ears are on I can add the horns and do a little tweaking, then wet it down and block it to make it perfect. I just have to make sure the dye stops wearing off so Jana won't look like a smurf after wearing it...

I'm leaving it to Deadly DeLeon to model the finished project on this very blog. (Hint - you should encourage her to do this.)

Why am I telling you? Because;

1) I'm kinda proud of myself. This was a bitch of a pattern (Jana is so worth it);

2) So you can get the hell out of her way if you see her wearing this, walking down the street with an uzi (in which case you must take pictures and send them to me).

Next project, a Henry Rollins doll for a Todd's birthday in November. After that, who knows?

The Assassin

Conference Aftershock

Ahh, I’m not back home yet, I’m at my dad’s in Alabama. But I’m still reeling from a fabulous conference at Moonlight & Magnolias in Atlanta, Georgia. Wow, what a great group of people. I chatted with editors, agents, and a whole bunch of writers. And most of them talked like me. It’s kind of nice to be in a place where my southern drawl doesn’t draw more attention. A few sayings I’d almost forgotten but am hearing…

* I’d done did it.
* Fine as frog‘s hair.
* People are offering to “carry me” places, and they aren‘t really planning on picking me up.
* Everyone is “fixin’” to do something, too.

None of these saying made me stop and think. They just made me feel at home.
I met so many great writers. Being with other writers is like going to a family reunion for the first time and meeting people who sort of look and act like you. I mean, I can be sitting around having a conversation with someone and suddenly pause and blurt out, “Oh my gosh, I just realized the perfect way that Frankie has to die.” And no one in the room is going call 911 or even think I’m the least bit scary.
Yes, this basically means that writers are weird. We can’t help it, it’s part of our DNA. We do an immense amount of people watching. So when authors stare at someone we aren’t being rude, we’re just doing our job, looking for characteristics to showcase in our books. If someone has a unique nervous tick, you can bet that nervous tick will show up in my book. If someone has a different facial expression, we steal it for our characters. And then there’s the eavesdropping writers are always known to do when we get in a crowd. Hey, some tiny piece of dialogue will spark our imaginations and bam, we get an entire plot. So I’ll admit I did some eavesdropping. Unfortunately, it was too apparent that I was in a hotel filled with other writers. Below are just bits and pieces of conversation I overheard:

“He’s not that old, only 150 years or so…”

“I really think you should have found another way to kill him. That was too easy.”

“He gave up sleeping in the casket about a hundred years ago…”

“He didn’t want to turn her, just feed off her a little…

“Then he borrowed his neighbor’s body so if he got shot up it wouldn’t leave scars…

“I don’t usually kill people. Wait I take that back. I did kill Jim, but everyone wanted him dead.”

“And after he was dead, I couldn’t decide what to do with the body. Because for things to work out, I needed him to be partly decomposed before they discovered him.”

“He’s killed a lot of people, but that was when the villain had control of his mind, so underneath it, he’s still a hero.”

“He’s stuck in dog’s body and in his human form he’s vegetarian. So he‘s starving to death.”

“And then he meets himself in the future and takes the ring back.”
“She found the dead guy in a Porta Potty wearing the hat that said, “Shit happens and then you die.”
　
Okay…that last piece of dialogue was my own. But seriously, can you imagine the few people staying at the hotel who weren’t writers and what they must have overheard?
So…what bits and pieces of dialogue have you guys overheard? Any great plot ideas happening in your neck of the woods? Any nervous ticks you care to share with me so I can add them to my characters?

Come on, share a little.

Crime Scene Christie

Monday Rush

It's raining, and I've been fighting a viral AND bacterial infection for a week now, AND I have a book I have to write. ugh So I am perpetually behind. In fact, I am staring at my own butt. I've already forgone clean house, clean underwear and groceries to get things done, but there's really nothing else I can give up....well, except work. And god knows, today I'd really like to give up work.

I apologize for having nothing useful to say. I mostly only have complaints - like that the new season of Dexter is on Showtime, but I don't have Showtime and refuse to pay the rates they want for it. (sigh) So lord only knows how long I'll have to wait for it to appear on Netflix - along with the million other people waiting.

So You Think You Can Dance is back on and running well. Hell's Kitchen is winding down and I must say there's only one person on there I like and another I don't detest and the rest are worthless. So picking the final two is easy for me, and I already have a winner in mind. I'm just hoping Chef Ramsey agrees.

For those of you with little ones, a lady gave me this link last week. It's her six-year-old daughter's favorite website and I have to admit, that I did waste some otherwise clean underwear time taking a peek. It's hard to resist:

http://cuteoverload.com/

Deadly DeLeon

Author Kimberly Lang

Please join me in welcoming Kimberly Lang to Killer Fiction. Kimberly, take it away!

* * * * * *


I love Facebook.

Aside from connecting me with readers around the world, it’s reconnected me with friends I haven’t seen since we graduated from high school and folks I went to college with. I love how easy it is to find the people who were so important to me at a point in my life but that I somehow lost touch with. And it’s better than regular ol’ email, because I can visit their pages and see their kids and their dogs, learn about the hobbies they’ve picked up, and sometimes more importantly, learn what they majored in at college and what they do for a living.

See, I hate doing research.

I know there are writers out there who love research. Writers who will spend hours uncovering details, mining for data gold, and immersing themselves in the facts. I’m not one of them. I know the internet makes all the information in the world available at the click of a mouse, but I just don’t have the patience to sift through the flotsam and jetsam of the ‘net to find the info I need. Plus, I have the attention span of a three-year-old, so I’m very lured by the link to the *other* cool thing that has nothing to do with what I’m researching.

Let’s say my hero has an accident. I need him to be hurt bad enough to keep him in the hospital for a couple of days, but not bad enough to cause permanent damage. I could go Web MD and spend an hour (and probably diagnose myself with something rare and horrible while I’m there). But why do that when three of the folks in my graduating class are now nurses? I click through to Facebook and send a message: “Hey girl! Hope you’re well. Remember how I held your hair back while you puked on prom night? You said you owed me forever? Call me. We need to chat.”

Facebook will tell me which of my friends live in Chicago now, who raises horses, who became a dentist, who spent time in the military, who’s working on a PhD in physics, and who’s selling insurance. One day, I might need to talk physics, and I’ve already cashed in on the Chicago and insurance connections.

Facebook is the ultimate Phone-a-Friend Life Line.

Of course, the fact I’m now a “published author” means I get the “I’m writing a book, can you introduce me to your agent?” requests. It’s a bit tougher to say no when the person asking held my hair back on a night I don’t fully remember.

So who have you found on Facebook who surprised you with what they grew up to be or the hobbies they have? (My friend who was a goth before goth was cool is now working for a conservative politician. I think the photo I have of him in that “Anarchy Now” t-shirt might be worth something…)

I’m away at a reader’s luncheon in Louisiana today, so I might not be able to respond to your comments until later tonight, but I’ll chose one commenter to get a copy of my new book, The Millionaire’s Misbehaving Mistress.

Kimberly

www.booksbykimberly.com

THE MILLIONAIRE’S MISBEHAVING MISTRESS (Harlequin Presents)

Perfect, polite… and passionate!

As Dallas’s most eligible bachelor and heir to his family’s fortune, billionaire Will Harrison knows how to handle the paparazzi – but his little sister Evie is a worry.

Miss Behavior, etiquette expert Gwen Sawyer, has only three weeks to work her magic on Evie before a society ball, and so moves into Will’s luxurious penthouse. However she discovers too late that etiquette is the last thing on devilishly handsome Will’s mind…

****

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HIS SIDE OF BEEF???

Please welcome the lovely and talented Inez Kelley to Killer Fiction! Take it away, Inez...



What is in a name? Would a rose by any other name not smell as sweet?

Good old Shakespeare, he never had an editor who wanted to change his title. My latest book, MYLA BY MOONLIGHT was accepted with a completely different title. It was a good title. I liked it. It fit, made sense, was different… but my editor felt it was too much, gave too much away.

So the hunt for a new name began.

Oh lord have mercy, that was a trip! There were some issues to naming this piece. The story involves a magic spell that literally rests inside a scar on Taric’s side. So yeah, lot of jokes there. My first release was a comedy and I kept wanting to slide into comedic names. But this is a fantasy romance, a shifter love story. Wait, back up, let me grab the blurb for you so we know what I am rambling about.

Magic bites…

Created at Prince Taric’s birth, Myla is a spell, an enchantment designed to appear and protect him when he needs it most. She has always been content to do her duty…until one night of forbidden passion leaves her longing to experience life—and love—as a mortal woman. Yet the risk is too great. Even if her blood runs as red as his, she can never give him the one thing he needs: a child.

Taric’s blessing—and his curse—is knowing the kingdom’s future depends on his producing an heir to continue the bloodline. His bond with Myla has always been that of protector and protected. When it suddenly becomes something much more, he unwittingly sentences his people to certain death.

An old enemy is plotting to destroy all he holds dear: his lands, his people, his father, and his lover. And this time, even if they fight tooth and blade, their shared magic may not be enough to save them…

Okay, there ya go. My editor and I tossed around several names. I took it to my writer friends at Romance Divas. The list stretched from the boring (Guardian) to the hysterical (His Side of Beef). Kim Knox came up with that stellar gem and refers to Myla by Moonlight as His Side of Beef to this day.

There were lots and lots of suggestions. Like lots. A whole plethora of names. I looked up the list and, generous author that I am, will share it with you, snark worthy ones and all.

To Touch a Star

The Broad’s Sword
The Magic Within

Smoking the Charm
Always a Guardian
Guardian Within

Scarbound

Booboo of the HooHoo

The Magically Reappearing Hymen

Cat Got Your Liver?
Blessed and Cursed
Forever Bound
Star-Crossed

Never Leave Home Without Her
Myla of the Mist

Is That a Guardian in Your Pocket(or Are You Glad to See Me?)
The Gift of Life

Feel Me Up

He’s Packing

Warrior Woman

Forbidden Bond
At His Side/Always at His Side
Guardian Heart
Bondmark
Spellbound

Beauty is the Beast

She Wears the Pants

Have Guardian, Will Travel

Bound by Magic

Freely Given

Myla's Gift

Taric’s Tale

Her Sword is Bigger than His

Myla at His Side

A Side of Magic

His Side of Magic

His Side of Beef

The Woman in Him

Virgin Warrior

PussyCat PussyCat

Cherry Jubilee

Magic at His Side

Born of Magic

All Love's Might

This Side of Magic

Star-Blessed

Once a Warrior
Love is a Battlefield
You are Never Alone

Peek-a-Boo

Jag Snag
Tainted Bond
Burnt by Magic
Stars in your Eyes

Litterbox Love
Guardian of Tears
Beyond my World
I Watch from Within


For weeks, we went back and forth trying to find a name for this story. I’d send a list of ten, she’d send a list of ten, so on and so forth. I decided on my children’s names with less hair-tearing. I mean, come on, I wrote the stupid thing. You’d think I could title it in a blink. Nightmares about this book with a flat white cover and a bar code with the name GENERIC started seeping into my brain. I started to call it THIS DAMN NAMELSS BOOK or better yet BUY ME!!

I save all my manuscripts under the hero name mostly, occasionally a working title. So this was ‘Taric’. But Myla is a name that is somewhat unusual so we latched on to that and FINALLY my editor and I agreed on Myla by Moonlight. Now I can’t think of it any other way. It fits. Perfectly, like a glove. And so much better than Booboo of the HooHoo.

Despite all the naming woes, this is a beautiful tale of love and sacrifice. Stop by my website and check out a few excerpts or watch the trailer. I promise, no Side of Beef involved!

~Inez

http://inezkelley.com/

JINXED - AVAILABLE NOW from Samhain Publishing
MYLA BY MOONLIGHT - coming in September from Samhain Publishing

Check out my free reads at http://inezkelley.com/funstuff/

It's a 'Boo-ti-ful' time of the year!

Ever since I was a kid, I've loved Halloween. As a child I was a Saturday afternoon monster movie devotee, subscriber to Universal's movie monsters magazine, and used to run home from school at three p.m. to catch the final fifteen minutes of the 'vampire/werewolve/witch' daytime soap, Dark Shadows. My first fledgling stories were scary, bonechiller tales--or so I thought at the time. It's hard to read those stories now without erupting into howls more akin to the comedic than the fearful. (Well, except fear that these rather pitiful attempts at 'Poe-like prose'will ever be seen by another human being.)

My brother was a Frankenstein fan. My sister usually did the 'vamp' thing. So the only real monster left for me was the Wolfman. Man, I hated those slobbery fake wolf teeth...

Haunted houses and corn mazes were also big. I remember one particular haunted house our church youth group visited and I seem to recall my big, tough, older, jockette sister was leading our group through a rather tight crawlspace which we had to negotiate on our hands and knees one at a time and she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks (pun carefully chosen) and refused to go one doggy step further and the rest of us had to crawl over her to get by. Did I mention my big sis currently holds the rank of Captain on the State Police Force? Snort.

Anyway, since it is now October 1st, I can officially decorate for Halloween without fear of being judged. When the kids were young, I used to go all out to get in the proper mood. The house was decorated with monster cutouts, glow in the dark plastic skeletons, ceramic jack-o-lanterns, big, black spiders and cobwebs. Okay. So the cobwebs were real... I was a working, divorced mother of four! Gimme a break!

Now that the kids are in college, I don't really have a good excuse to decorate the house in full Halloween haunting regalia, but I sure do miss those days. Instead I plan to reach a happy medium. Today I will set out my ceramics, fill the candy bowl with candy corn, peanuts, and M&Ms, get out the placemats and hang up Mr. Glow in the Dark Skeleton, and sit down and watch a scary movie from the good ole days (i.e. before the advent of the slasher movies). Something like Psycho, Frankenstein or Dracula,(the originals) or maybe even The Blob.

How do you--or do you--celebrate Halloween? Any haunted house, corn maze, seance tales to share? Any good ghost stories you'd like to share that we can tell around the campfire?

~Bullet Hole~