Monday, October 10, 2011

My Tetherball Romance - by Diane Kelly

Recently, my son noted that he couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be married. Of course he’s 16 with raging hormones – in other words, girl crazy. One day he’s got a crush on a petite Asian girl, the next a tall blonde. When there’s so many potential mates to choose from, each with her own unique look and personality, he can’t imagine tying himself down to just one!

But, as I tried to explain to him, one day he’ll meet a girl who he knows is THE ONE. When he does, she’ll feel like an extension of himself, part of the unit that is THEM. “That’s how I feel about Dad,” I explained. “He’s such an integral part of my life and my identity. It’s like he’s one of my limbs, like an arm or a leg. I’d have a hard time imagining life without him.”

Of course, being 16 means my son is not only girl crazy but also a smart ass. “Sometimes a person is better off cutting off a limb,” he replied. “Like if it gets gangrene.”

Such a romantic, huh?

The conversation got me thinking, though. My relationship with my husband has certainly evolved over the years. When we first met, we had a lot of fun together, but we were independent and enjoyed time with our friends, too. Once we got married and had kids, we spent more time together, though our dates often consisted of sitting side by side in front of the dryer and folding laundry on a Friday night.

Now? I guess the best simile for our relationship is to say it’s like a game of tether ball. My husband is the pole – solid, rooted, doesn’t need to go anywhere to enjoy himself. Yep, he’s a bit of a homebody, happy to sit in front of the TV watching ESPN and munching chips and salsa. I’m like the ball, constantly on the move, flying first one direction, then the other as I go about the busy game of my life. But I’m firmly tied to the pole by a taut rope and at times am wrapped firmly around it, taking a short breather between games.

I’ve found that when I write the romantic parts of my books, I tend to give my characters a very similar type of relationship. The hero and heroine share an undeniable bond, yet they function fairly independently as they go about their days. Still, they are there for each other at the critical times.

Every relationship is different, of course, and what works for each couple is as unique as the couple themselves. How would you describe your relationship with your spouse or significant other? How has it evolved over the years?

Diane Kelly is the author of the Death & Taxes romantic mystery series. Her debut novel, Death, Taxes, and a French Manicure, will be released November 1st. Post a comment today and you could win a copy of Diane's debut novel! The winner will be posted around 9:00 pm central time. Visit her site,, from October 21 - October 31 for more chances to win prizes in her countdown contest!


Namrata said... is all about that... love does find out a strong rooted similarity over hundreds of differences between two person and that similarity bind their souls together.

Diane Kelly said...

Spoken like a true romantic! : )

catslady said...

Love your comparison. hmmmm sometimes I think I'm more of the pole and he's the bouncing ball lol. After 42 years we must be doing something right. Congrats on your "first."

AnonymousWoman said...

Dianne everything you have said is so true. I have been married 16 years and I feel like I am the pole and my husband is the one that is all over the place. I also agree with your sentiment that the one is like an extension of yourself.I loved your son's funny comments as well about relationships. He may have a touch of your sense of humor!

Sarah S. said...

My husband and I take turns being the pole, albeit not equal turns. I am very much more of an adventure seeker than my husband, but ocassionaly I will get him to tag along.

traveler said...

What a delightful and true post today. Love is always a combination of fate, destiny and how our souls seem to relate.

petite said...

Love is all consuming and inescapable. After many years I have realized many truths. Best wishes.

Brandy said...

I like the analogy of string cheese. We're many parts that are pressed together to make whole unit.
We married young, all glowy and romantic. Then came kids and our focus was (and is) on them with whatever we had leftover for each other, however as the kids age we are discovering each other and our selves again. And no matter how we've aged or changed, we are still those two who dearly love each other.

Diane Kelly said...

Sounds like we have lots of tetherball relationships out there, though the pole and ball vary.

Brandy - I love the string cheese analogy. Does that mean your hubby can still cause you to "melt"? Or is it wrong of me to "grill" you about that? (Now I'm the one who's being cheesy, huh? : ) I can never resist a good - or bad - pun!)

Diane Kelly said... picked #4 as the winner - that's you Sarah! Please email me at with your snail mail address and I'll get your prizes in the mail to you.

Thanks so much to everyone for stopping by! Be sure to stop by the blog on my website from Oct. 21 - 31st as I celebrate the countdown to my debut with more prizes!

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