Friday, September 23, 2011

Update on the new house


We’re finally settling into the new house. The kids’ rooms are 90% there, we have one working bathroom (yay!), and the kitchen is unpacked. I almost feel like a real person again. I even wrote a couple pages this week. Total shocker.

New house pros:
1. The deck is gorgeous. It’s me new favorite place to sit and write.
2. The location rocks. Big Boy even walked home from school a couple times this week.
3. I am LOVING having my own office. Even if it is full of half-assembled furniture and boxes at the moment.

New house cons:
The last tenant left the house in sad shape. The landlady is working on getting things fixed, but it’s sloooooow going. To date the issues are:

1. Unintentional two-tone paint job in Big Boy’s room. I had to paint the entire room two days before we moved in.
2. No smoke alarms hooked up in the entire house. They are all disconnected and out of batteries
3. None of the blinds on any windows work. They’re all broken. And it’s like 100 degree here, so all the rooms are baking in the direct sun.
4. The A/C only works in some rooms. And has a phantom unit upstairs that controls nothing. We basically have to freeze out the downstairs to 60 degrees to cool the upstairs to 90 degrees
5. The oven doesn’t work. Just fills the room with gas and never heats up.
6. The dishwasher doesn’t work – no hot water
7. The upstairs bathroom drain doesn’t fit the sink, creating a flood every time we use it
8. The family room carpet is bathed in dog-pee scented stains. (super fun smell!)
9. A banister on the stairs is broken, meaning Baby Boy can easily fit between the rails and fall to his death. Clearly we have this spot barricaded with boxes right now, but, um, yeah. Not so safe.
10. None of the doors fit the doorjambs properly. Big Boy was in his room yesterday. It was so hot in the direct sunlight and non-working A/C that he was sweating like he was in a sauna. He tried to get out… but the door was stuck. He was trapped. Luckily we heard him screaming for help and The Man was able to body-slam the door open.

So basically we’re expecting the wonky oven to create a fire that none of us will know about because the smoke detectors aren’t hooked up, but even if we did know about it we would all be trapped in our rooms since the doors don’t open. Hey, but once we do get out, we can jump through the hole in the banister for a quick getaway!

Ironically, that Tom Hanks movie The Money Pit was on TV a couple nights ago, and somehow was way funnier now than I ever remembered it being.

~Trigger Happy Halliday

4 comments:

krisgils33 said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry on your behalf!! I'm hoping in a short amount of time everything will be up and running smoothly and you can look back on this and laught at it as an unusual adventure!

TerriOsburn said...

There are no words. Crazy.

Gemma Halliday said...

We're laughing at the moment. There may be crying later, though.

G

Diane Kelly said...

I should probably be too embarrassed to admit this, but your "problems" sort of sound like life as usual at my house. My hubby's been out back all morning trying to free the built-in lawn sprinkler from the tree whose roots have a chokehold on it, we've got a half dozen dead azaleas bushes out front (sixty days of 100+ temps killed 'em), and if there isn't at least three piles of cat barf somewhere in the house it just wouldn't feel like home. : ) Just remind yourself of all the tax deductions the money pit will generate and maybe that will make you feel better.