Playing It Cool

Have you ever been watching someone and they fell down, then hopped up and continued on because they think no one saw? Or if you have cats or have been exposed to cats, have you ever seen them fall down and NOT land on their feet? They almost always sit down and start bathing as if busting their hiney was exactly what they intended and just part of their schedule. Cats do not handle embarassment well.

So last weekend, I'm working in the garage and the garage door for my neighbor across the alley goes up. He backs his car out and turns the wheel hard not ten feet out of the garage and runs straight into his fence. So I'm busy working, but watching out of the corner of my eye thinking "What in God's name was he thinking?" when he puts the car in drive, pulls back into the garage, gets out of the car, closes the garage and goes inside his house.

As if that's what he intended to do all along. I had a really good laugh at his expense. He totally reminded me of my very clumsy, 22-pound Maine coon.

Then there's me - the epitomy of calm under pressure. Last Monday, I was eating leftover steak at my desk at the day job and working on my next novel. I swallowed a bite too big and it got lodged in my throat. So I tried drinking to wash it down, but no go. Then I realized I couldn't breathe. So by this time, I'm making choking sounds, but by the time my co-workers realized what was happening and almost tore my cubicle down, I'd already given myself the Heimlich and was fine.

I think I gave several people a heart attack, and I'm certain more than a couple now think I'm a space alien since I wasn't in the least bit panicked. I tried to explain that panicking just used more air and if I hadn't been successful, I would have knocked on the next cubicle and made the universal choking sign, but I think I just reinforced that whole space alien theory even more.

Of course, my coworkers that I am good friends with and my friends outside of work just nodded when I told the story and laughed. And all of them said the same thing "Well, if it had been anyone else...."

But me, I insist on being unique. :)

Deadly Calm DeLeon