Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I'm Melting....melting...



It's hot. I'm hot. My basset looks like he's melted onto the kitchen floor. My kids haven't left the house in weeks - and I'm terrified to walk outside with eggs.


You can't buy milkshakes in this weather - even at a drive-thru. The second that shake hits the air, it doesn't melt, it evaporates as if I'd shot it with a lazer (which of course I wouldn't do, because hey! It's a milkshake!).


You can't let a black dog outside for more than a minute. Their little brains dissolve. I know this because I'm babysitting my friend Michele's black shitzu. I think she's forgotten she's a dog. And she keeps bogarting the a/c vents.


I don't leave anything in the car now. I left my cell in the car for an hour and when I got it, it went into a kind of Linda Blair activity with spinning icons and shutting on and off. Even leaving the windows open during the day doesn't help. In fact - it may be making things worse.


It sucks to walk out of the house, after a shower, only to be coated in a layer of enough sweat to put out a small housefire. Then you walk into an air-conditioned building and start shivering.


It was 113 degrees today. Clearly, Hell has opened up a strip mall in the midwest.


The worst thing ever just happened. I went to the fridge for an ice-cold Becks, only to find I didn't have any. I don't even want to go out and get one. Now that's pathetic. Leslie sad...


I hope you are doing better. Please tell me it's cool outside...somewhere...


The Assassin

13 comments:

krisgils33 said...

I'm in the metro DC area, and it has been blistering hot all summer long. My only reprieve was the week I spent in London for work. The weather was so awesome while I was there!!

However, today it's rainy and slightly less humid so maybe I won't be a total sweatbag when I go outside. :-)

Leslie Langtry said...

DC is soooo humid! It's one of my fav cities, but I've been there in July and whew!

TerriOsburn said...

It's not exactly cool here but we're finally out of the triple digit stuff. Mostly. Still pretty thick outside (we're 3hrs south of DC.)

Lovely Tropical Storm Emily is going to bring us rain all next week and temps are looking to be in the 80s. I'll take it!

Leslie Langtry said...

Terri, I'd take a tropical storm anyday. My grass is turning brown. Well, except for the crabgrass - that's lush and green. I'm re-thinking it as a weed.

Angie Fox said...

The outside temperature gage on my car is stuck in the tripe digits. To the point where we said, "Oh look - it's cooling down," when we were out driving last night and the temp only registered 96.

Suzan Harden said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suzan Harden said...

People in Houston are whining about the heat, and I have to give them sh** because this is NORMAL for August.

For the rest of you, I do feel a little bad because Maine shouldn't be 103 right now.

Leslie Langtry said...

Something's up if it's that hot in MAINE!

Brandy said...

Um, wish it were cool here in SC. But, no. I can not wait for Fall.

Kima said...

One of my friends in Tacoma called me yesterday to tell me that it was 71 there, while we set a record high here in the bellybutton of IL at 102. I don't like that friend anymore. It's cooler today at only 96.

Barbara E. said...

It's definitely not cool here in Orlando, but at least we're not in triple digits, "only" the high 90's and if we get rain in the afternoon, it usually dips down into the 80's. Hope it cools off for you soon!

Robin Kaye said...

What you need is beer delivery! It's hot here too, but back below the triple digits. My friend in Idaho called and said it was 105 degrees but with 15% humidity, I couldn't work up any sympathy. It was a 106 here in the shade with 95% humidity. Sigh...I'm so not into sweating.

emmad said...

It's cold in New Zealand :) But we aren't going outside either cause it's warm inside and cold outside lol.
Dogs are curled up in the porch on sheepskin rugs and not moving either.