So, the orthopaedic (funny way to spell that) doctor I saw the other day told me I have a ganglion cyst. He took (well, his much lower paid assistant actually took) x-rays. I looked at them but didn't see anything. And yet it looks like my wrist is nine months pregnant with a space alien baby who wants to eat my brains - and probably already has started.
I asked if I could take the x-rays with me cuz it was really cool seeing my finger bones...but he said no. I told him that technically, since the photos were of me, and I did not remember signing a release form, the x-rays should be mine. I have a spot at home for them...right next to the wisdom teeth that inspired Dak to kill Gin's dental surgeon in GUNS WILL KEEP US TOGETHER.
So the hump is much bigger. I think one of my kids might be in there. So the doc said it looks like a ganglion cyst and it needs to be drained...after they schedule - in the near future - a very expensive MRI (oh, and did I have any plates in my head or metal in my eyes before we begin?)
So I have this lump the size of New Jersey, and it hurts, and the doctor knows what it is, but wants me to have an expensive procedure first, and it HURTS. The doctor nods and walks away. So I look up photos of ganglion cysts on the web, because I am a sado masochist.
The needle they use looks very large.
Of course there are folk remedies too that literally dozens swear by. Sometimes, in places like rural Appalachia, they call this a Bible Cyst. Here's why....they would hold your hand down, cyst side up, and slam it hard with a Bible. Then you would swear a whole lot which made for ironic fun for the witnesses. The fluid would drain internally out of the cyst (because it exploded) and into your other tissues.
The very large needle is looking good now.
If anyone has a better, less painful or messy idea, please let me know.