Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A Gift To Remember


A Gift to Remember

Okay…it happened again. My hubby did it. He did something so--bloggable. Anyway, I’ve decided to share.

It doesn’t matter that he got that panicked look on his face after he’d committed “said” crime, and pleaded, “You’re can’t blog about this. Tell me you’re not gonna blog about this.” And then he immediately went into the act of . . . “But I was just joking. Really, I was.” And after seeing my smile, he said, “Fine, if you have to blog about it, you gotta tell them that I said I was joking.” I’m not convinced I believe him, but as promised, I agreed to tell you he said it.

Nevertheless, joke or not, it was too late when he made his no-blog plea. The blog was already half written in my mind.

Let me give you the background, so you’ll understand the “crime.” Hubby’s work sent him to Chicago for two weeks. Any of you who live up north, or anyone who has read Kathy’s snow blogs, knows that it wasn’t the best time to visit the area.

Now for a southern person that beautiful white flakey stuff that falls from the sky is pretty. Pretty when we watch it on television, gorgeous on captured in film on Christmas cards, and a miracle to experience it in person. (At least for a while.)

And while he got to experience this winter miracle, I got phone calls. Daily--long, drawn-out, detailed phone calls. Supposedly it was in my marriage contract. I must have missed the clause that stated a wife is also required to listen to hours upon hours of weather complaints from her hubby.

It wasn’t just about the weather. It was about . . . how hubby’s Uncle Jimmy and his boys had disappeared like turtles between his legs, about how falling icicles could take him out, (he’d even seen a show about it) about how any uncovered piece of human flesh would fall off your body if it was left insufficiently uncovered for the slightest amount of time. (Which explained his wearing two pairs of Hanes.) About how the white crap, AKA: snow, (it had stopped being a miracle after the second day) fell on his rental car every night and had to be removed before he could drive. And then there was the complaint of how the car rental company had not included a brush or some sort of device to remove “said” white crap from the car.

Phone call, after phone call, after phone call, I listened to his weather-related reports. I also heard how he respected the will to live, the courage, and the fortitude of every northerner alive. They were, as he put it, “a bigger person than himself.” Of course, after a couple more days, he also questioned the IQ of anyone who chose to live under such calamitous, ominous, dire conditions. Amazing, how a ten-drop in temperature can alter one’s opinion. Let’s just say we won’t be moving up north anytime soon.

But let’s get back to hubby’s crime. He had arrived back in Houston, reveling in the fact that his uncle and boys had resurfaced unharmed. We were already in bed, when I asked the question he and my son always ask me when I return from a trip. “Did you bring me anything?”

Surely, the hours of listening to weather reports and updates on Uncle Jim and his boys
conditions would rate me something. Much to my delight, hubby got a gleam in his eyes.

“I do have you a little something.” He jumped out of bed and ran to his yet-to-be-unpacked suitcase. I was a little more than surprised. Have I mentioned my hubby is rather frugal? Okay he’s cheap. Still, I had hinted at my desire for another pair of silver earrings. And that was little. I leaned up on my elbow and watched him, hoping it was a small box he pulled out.

Much to my dismay, shock, and disbelief, the man pulled a toilet brush from his suitcase. I swear, I’m not joking. To his credit, it’s a pretty, bright yellow color.

“You . . . you brought me a toilet brush?” I imagined him stealing it from the hotel . . . gross! I stared horrified at the gift, thinking I so would have preferred earrings.

He seemed to read my mind, at least part of it. “It’s never been used…well, not for toilet cleaning.

My mouth dropped open. Are you as curious as I was to know exactly what the brush has been used for? I stared at him and waited for the explanation. And believe me, I was determined to get one. Curious minds have to know!

He finally spoke up. “I bought it to get the snow off my car.”

“You bought it for what?” I asked.

“Remember, they didn’t put a snow brush in the rental car,” he said as if that explained everything.

“But that’s a toilet brush,” I said, worried my husband had been hit in the head with a falling icicle. I mean, he was normally a semi-intelligent person. The semi part apparent due to his offering me a toilet brush as a gift.

“Yeah, but they were out of snow brushes and . . .(And that is where it all finally made sense to me) and this was the cheapest brush that had a handle on it.” See what I mean about him being cheap?

Now, I haven’t seen anything yet, but I swear I know that on some blog is a northerner writing about seeing a weak, cold-hating idiot southerner, using a bright yellow toilet brush to remove the snow from his car.

So, there you have another hubby story. Have you ever gotten a less than desirable gift from someone? Come on, make me feel better about my toilet brush. And as you all know, Valentine’s Day is coming up? Got any ideas of what I can give hubby?

~Crime Scene Christie







44 comments:

Linda C said...

Christie, That is too funny!!
I can relate to complaining about the cold, however. Michigan has been in the deep freeze since December with lots of snow.

The first Christmas my husband and I were dating he gave me a curling iron for a gift. I wore my hair really short then. Still shaking my head on that.

Hubbys, just got to love em anyways.

Linda

Christie Craig said...

Hi Linda,

Thanks for stopping in. Yup, that cold is complain worthy.

Now the curling iron...? That would have given me a moment of pause, too. And you're right. We gotta love 'em anyway. Well, those who deserve to be loved.

Take Care,

CC

Nancy Kay Bowden said...

Oh, Christie, your hubbie is brilliant! A toilet brush is perfect for removing fluffy snow from a car. Bringing it home to you, well... :)

If not a magnet or Tshirt or some goodie purchased at the airport that will fit in hubbie's carry on, I usually get the business class goodies--socks, fold up toothbrush, towelette and a little can of "fresh" air to blow in my face.

Normally, hubbie's into gadgets he wants me to want--like the iPod I had for a year before I set up. I admit, I love it.

For Christmas this year, he gave me a robotic "pleo" dinosaur. I didn't even know what to say. It took me a while to take the dino out of the box--it's a very strange "toy" (pet of the future, hubbie says.)It seems to have an affection for me, and I'm happy it doesn't grow--and it's nice I can remove its battery. :)

Hugs,
Nancy

Tessy said...

Priceless, Christie! Men!

Linda, why do men love things that plug in?

Nancy, I've not seen this dinosaur thing, but if it had batteries, I'm sure he had no control.

Yep, plug in or use batteries, the man motto!

DH and I celebrated 20 years of wedded bliss in November...he took a week of vacation to spend with me. Or so I thought.

The first day of our special anniversary week, we went to Sears. Since we moved in the house 4 years ago, I've been telling him he can get whatever he wants for the garage...he used our anniversary to cash in.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice stuff and the garage looks amazing, but he didn't spend the week with me, he spent it in the garage!

And then, a few days ago, I told him he really shouldn't give his next wife garage stuff for their anniversary, he said, it's wasn't for you.

Men!

Christie Craig said...

Nancy,

Well, since you are from Chicago, I guess you should know if the bright yellow T.B. would be the proper tool. He will be so thrilled to know that you think he made the proper selection.

And I have to admit when I wasn't thrilled with the brush, he did offer up the shampoo and conditioner freebies.

Now, I really need to see this pet dino. Hmm...I guess he doesn't have accidents on the carpet either, so he might be a pretty good pet.

Of course, I've seen a few of the items your hubby gifted you. Like the huge diamond. Does that not make him look really good? It was the size of a paper weight. Wait, I think it was a paper weight. (smile) But it was so neat, I borrowed it to take pictures.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Tessy,

You are so right. Men have no control when it comes to some toys. Especially when it comes to their garages.

I tell people my hubby keeps his other woman in the garage. It's a Triumph (TR) 4. He's had her since he was sixteen.

Thanks so much for stopping in.

CC

terrio said...

I grew up in the North and you can't make me cross that Mason Dixon Line ever again. Ain't. Gonna. Do. It. I hate snow! But I can see how that toilet brush would work. :)

My ex once gave me a Trace Adkins cassette for a present. At the time, I worked in radio. And got all the free CDs I wanted. He bought me a cassette. *sigh*

I must hard to buy for because no one ever gets me good presents. Not since my sister bought me tix to Les Mis when I was 17 can I remember being excited about a present. And I'm not high maintenance at all. It's a mystery.

terrio said...

Oh, and I suggest you buy him silver earrings for Valentines Day. ;)

Teri Thackston said...

Your hubby has such a great imagination--I mean he actually thought that was a great gift for you! Mine gave me a wind up radio for Christmas one year. It actually came in handy after Hurricane Ike, so hold on to that TB, Christie--you never know when you might need it!
Teri

Heather MacAllister said...

Camo underwear. There's nothing more to be said.
Heather

Colleen Thompson said...

Lol, Christie! That's hilarious - and I can just hear Steve saying, "Just tell 'em I was joking!"

Heather, still laughing over the camo underwear! But knowing you, I'll bet you accessorized it stunningly. (VBG!)

Gemma Halliday said...

I have this picture of native cold dwellers looking out their windows and snickers at the man scraping his car with a toilet brush.

~Gemma

Christie Craig said...

Terrio,

I'm with you. I'll take the hot summers over having to dig my car out of the snow every morning. But hey, I know people who love it.

I have a couple of friends and a family member who are hard to buy gifts for. They either just don't want for a lot of things, or if they need something they get it.

And I love the idea of getting him a pair of silver earrings for Valentine's day. But getting him to wear them would be priceless. LOL.

Thanks for posting.

CC

Linda Warren said...

Christie,
That's hilarious. But he figured out a way to get the snow off his car - the cheap way. Brilliant.
I agree with Terri. Buy him the earrings for Valentine's Day.
Linda Warren

Ruth said...

Hey Christie at least he actually goes to the store and purchases something. Mine-- if he can't get our daughters to shop for him, he just tells me he transferred money into my account and to go buy something from him- he says I am too difficult to shop for and he wouldn't know what to get me, he hates shopping. In his defense, he did go gambling once and brought me home a beautiful necklace and earrrings- the lady at the counter helped him pick it out and I bet she was on commission.
Ruth

Christie Craig said...

Teri,

You are right. One day I will be in dire need of a toilet brush and I'll think how sweet and romantic it was that hubby thought of me. Hmm...? Or maybe not.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Heather,

That's priceless!!

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Colleen,

This morning he actually asked me, "How much trouble am I gonna get into over the toilet brush?"

I just smiled at him and said, "Don't worry sweetheart, I've told them enough about you that this isn't going to change their opinion of you."

That made him feel better. He didn't realize I hadn't meant it in a good way. LOL. Ahh, you know I love him anyway.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Gemma,

Yup, I imagine he turned a few heads. I have to admit that when he does stuff like this I get this little voice deep in my heart that says, "Yup, I married the right man."

Or as he puts it, "If I didn't do stuff like this, what would you blog about?"

CC

Lucy said...

I don't think you should be looking for the blog about some man scraping off his car with a toilet brush, I think you should be scanning YouTube for it. Surely someone captured it on video. ;~)

Christie Craig said...

Linda Warren,

Hey, if there's a frugal way out of any situation, my hubby will find it.

And I'm with you guys, I'm thinking a pair of earrings to wear while I scrub the toilet is needed.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Ruth,

Commission or no commission. I'm sure you loved the gift.

And on holidays, hubby tries to surprise me. This Christmas, my son went with him shopping and walked right into the house and told what hubby had bought me. It was supposed to be my only suprise. It was three days before Christmas and when hubby asked why my son told, he said, "I didn't think you guys kept secrets from one another."

Hubby wanted to kill him.

So hubby tries. And he does better than toilet brushes most of the time.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Lucy,

You are right. It would have made a funny video, too.

Thanks so much for stopping in.

CC

MJ Selle said...

Christie: Get him the obvious gift - toilet bowl cleaner. After all, I have the feeling HE'S the one that's going to be using that brush for a long time!

I'm from Buffalo and "saw the light" over 30 years ago. I will not travel there from Oct. 15-May 1 unless there is a family emergency. I hate snow!

And my husband's questionable Christmas gifts were five or six goal setting and self-improvement books. "You Five Years From Now" was one title I remember. I told him, "I'll probably be without you 5 years from now." Of course that was almost 20 years ago, so I guess I never read those books.

Christie Craig said...

MJ,

If I was giving a prize away, you'd have to win it. That's priceless! I think I might even do it. Give him some toilet bowl cleaner for Valentine's day.

And hey, if you'd like to swap, I'll give you a toilet brush for those goal setting books. LOL.

Last night I cooked dinner for hubby, and he loves home cooking so as way to compliment me he asked, "If you were me, would you stay with this awesome pretty wife named Christie?"

I looked at him and all serious-like said, "I would if she will have you."

He just laughed. He knows the time to return him has expired.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Keri Ford said...

This is too cute. My husband would have trashed the brush. He would have never put it in with his clothes, used or not.

And you know what the neighbors were thinking..."let's hope he ran it under some hot first to try and kill of the germs!"

Christie Craig said...

Keri,

My hubby has a germ issue as well, but I guess he's cheaper than he is germ phobic.

And I can tell you that hubby swears the toilet brush worked fabulous on removing snow. So . . . who knows. He might have given northern toilet brushes new job opportunities.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Colleen Thompson said...

Christie,
I think the next time I see Steve, I'm going to suggest he had tiny, silver toilet bowl brush earring made for you for Valentine's Day.

They'll go great with your elf hat. LOL!

Michelle said...

Oh man, that is too funny!! I never really received any strange gifts like that, though I did ask for an "american hoagie" and I got a hoagie with nothing but American Cheese on it. I had no idea I was supposed to say I wanted a regular hoagie--this was from my ex, who by that point should have known what I meant,lol.

Christie Craig said...

Oh, Colleen,

You would bring up my elf hat, wouldn't you? LOL.

Hey...maybe you can get hubby to get me a green toilet brush, and a green hat, and the earring. Then I really will look like an elf and I'll be styling for Saint Patrick's Day.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Michelle,

I would have divorced him, too. I mean, hoagie's are serious business! (Smile)

It's funny how what we say can be twisted to mean something completely different.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Keri Ford said...

It's funny how what we say can be twisted to mean something completely different.

Reminds me of something. For years I worked in a diner. we'd say cut the pickles if there was to be on pickles on the burger.

I go a restaurant one day, told the lady my order and to cut the pickles. I swear to you, she completely froze, looked up and asked, "How do you want them cut?"

And you know what I did? Stared back at her for a bit trying to figure out what the heck she was talking about!

Christie Craig said...

Keri,

I think I would have told the waitress "in half," let her leave and then removed the cut pickles. LOL!

What we say and what we mean doesn't always match.

By the way, looks as if you've got some wonderful bloggers on your ship.

I think one of them belongs to my RWA chapter.

CC

RM Kahn said...

My husband has been pretty good about the gift giving. (somewhere between practical and semi extravagant at times) One year for Christmas, he gave me a leaf blower and a large chef's knife. My mother was horrified. I loved both gifts and have used the heck out of them! (that leaf blower is worth its weight in gold in the Fall)

But I know where my mother was coming from. One year my father (a practical man) got her a new skillet. Let's say that was the last time he ever did that again.

Christie Craig said...

RM kahm,

Here at the Craig house we are into practical gifts. As long as the receiver wanted/requested the practical gift. Note, I never asked for a new toilet brush!! (Smile) No frying pans if they weren't requested by the woman who does the frying. Not if you don't won't your own goose cooked.

Your mom sounds like my kinda of woman.

CC

catslady said...

In 40 years I've seen them all from spectacular to really pathetic. The rug cleaner was one of my worst (we have one area rug at the moment and who the hell wants to clean rugs). One Christmas he wrapped up four huge heavy boxes for me and the kids - it ended up being printer paper for goodness sake. I also got ziplock bags one year (because I wash and reuse them lol). Same year I got plastic containers because I have misc. ones from butter etc.

Christie Craig said...

Catslady,

Okay...I think the plastic baggies have my toilet brush beat. That is too funny.

But I have gotten the plastic containers. I even got some this year.

Thanks for stopping by.

CC

Beth said...

Why don't you get him a bright yellow toilet brush holder to put YOUR brush in... and the circle is complete.

Christie Craig said...

Beth,

Okay, this is another great idea. I'll bet he loves it!

Thanks for stopping in.

I love it when you guys are on top of things.

CC

Jenyfer Matthews said...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Having spent the month of December in northern MN I can sympathise with your hubby. I borrowed my mother's car and she, having recently relocated from Louisiana, didn't have a snow brush in her car either. I bought the *last* one at the shop. If they hadn't had one, not sure a toilet brush would have occurred to me.

My hubby isn't too bad with presents. Though there was one year early in our marriage where he filled my stocking with dental items - toothbrushes and toothbrush travel holders, etc. Guess what aisle he shopped on at the drug store??

Christie Craig said...

Jenyfer,

Hubby said the TB worked fabulous. So next time you're stranded in snow town remember that.

Dental items in a stocking, huh? Well, let me just say, I'll be your teeth thanked him.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Christie - he's smart enough to buy jewelry and chocolate fifteen years later :)

Christie Craig said...

Jenyfer,

That's all a part of the training process. You did good! (Smile)

CC

Sandy said...

LOL I love it. Great story, Christie.

The only time my hubby is cheap is when he decides we need to be on a saving spree.

Sandy