Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Romantic Disasters

Winner! Tess, you are the winner. Send me your snail mail address at christie (at) christie-craig.com

Recently, Faye Hughes, my non-fiction writing partner, and I ran a contest on our joint website to celebrate the release of our book, Wild, Wicked & Wanton: 101 Ways to Love Like You’re in a Romance Novel. (To learn more about our book, check out this article Marie Claire Magazine did about it: Article.) We asked people to send us their most memorable romantic disaster and boy, howdy, did people respond!

Some of the stories were laugh-out-loud funny; others had us clutching our hearts in sympathy. It was hard but we came up with a winner and two runner-ups. I’d like to share those winning entries with you guys this morning.

Winner: Meagan Spooner

I was never a very romantically successful girl. I used to think there was something wrong with me, because everyone else had a boyfriend. After college I decided to take matters into my own hands and went on more dates in the next couple of years than I’d been on my whole life. Some of the guys I met were just not my type, but some were absolutely NUTS. One brought a gun on the first date and showed it to me with this manic light in his eyes, saying that he would protect me if we were attacked. Another, when he sensed mid-date that I was perhaps not interested, broke down and started wailing, “WHY DON’T WOMEN LIKE ME?!”

I could say I learned something about how I should stop trying so hard (because I did learn that) or that there are just as many desperate guys out there (because I learned that too). But I think
the biggest thing I learned was there isn’t anything wrong with me at all. It’ll happen. In the meantime? Keep reading. Keep writing. Have fun.

Honorable Mention - Michele Benard

Young 21 year old(me) goes out with friend to a bar meet what seems like a nice guy over a period of weeks they talk he never asks her out on a date but seems interested. Girl (me) broke off a long distant relationship so was done with men at the time, lived in a navy town so it was like a meat market anytime you went out. Girl (me) meets a different boy who caught her interest he seemed interested some other times was into his friends he becomes a challenge girl likes challenge she was dating lots ( a girl has to eat) fast forward weeks becomes more interested in boy number 2 which makes boy number 1 very mad calling girls house every five minutes making comments like are u babysitting boy number 2 younger then boy number 1 finally calling girl up asking for her to just go to dinner with him once when she says no he hangs up on her then calls right back and calls her a b&%$#. Finally girl is at work a salon in the mall when mall security calls and says she needs to go to her car where the back window has been smashed out.
Boy number 1 got a way with it but never called again it cost girl 500.00 to repair and she ended up marrying boy number 2. I learned be careful who you talk to people aren’t always what they seem.

Honorable Mention - Jennifer Lee

Several years ago, a friend of mine told me that her husband's best friend was visiting for the weekend. They were planning on making a trip downtown to a local dance club, and she asked if I wanted to meet up with them. I didn't have any plans, so I agreed. But, being the scaredy-cat that I am about being alone at night in a downtown urban area, I brought along a tough, scary guy friend....to what was apparently a blind date.

A month later, I approached him. I emailed him and invited him to see a local DJ play. The DJ had called me earlier in the day to let me know the showtime and venue, and I was happy to support local talent.

When my date and I arrived, the DJ instantly gave me the cold shoulder. Turns out, he'd invited me as his date, and I'd brought a man along with me.

It's been almost 8 years, and my former blind date is now my fiance. Now I just have to figure out who I should ask as my date to the wedding....

When reading these entries I thought back on some of my own romantic disasters. Oh, I remember this one guy who was so nervous when we first started dating, that he slammed my hand in his car door, pulled a chair out from under me in a restaurant (and made me land on my butt on the floor,) and even accidentally managed to bust my daughter’s lips while playing with her under a table. (Talk about a klutz!) What did I do? I married him. Thankfully, he stopped being so nervous. As for the klutzy part . . . yeah, well, it gives me good fodder for blog posts. Hey . . . some romantic disasters turn out not to be so disastrous.

So, what about you guys? Do you have any romantic disaster stories to share? Come on, don’t be shy. Nothing dulls the pain of a romantic disaster more than sharing it. And for one lucky commenter, I’ll give away a copy of the book that started it all—Wild, Wicked & Wanton.



Caroline said...

Good morning, Christie and Faye~ {{{wave}}}

Congrats on the new book. It sounds wonderful and full of great stuff. I will definitely be looking for it. Congrats also to your winner, Meagan Spooner. Great entries all of them!

Have an awesome day!

krisgils33 said...

I love honorable mention #2...that is an absolutely fabulous story. I've been with my husband for more than 20 years now, so all those dating disasters stories have been locked in the inaccessible memory vault!!!

Tess said...

I wish I had an inaccessible memory vault...but I remember all my disasters...luckily I met dh when I was 17, so there aren't many...but this is the worst of the worst.

Friend set me up with a blind date...back in those days pagers were just out (yes, I know that was a long time ago). Only very important people had pagers (I never had one...I remember my niece having one, so this was before everyone had one)...this guy was a senior and I was a soph...that should have been my first clue. The pager the second.

Anyway, right off the bat I know this isn't going to work out...the guy was creepy, in an Ichabod Crane kinda way, except short. He was pasty, pale, I think he could glow in the dark.

So, we go to a restaurant, have a nice meal, I make easy conversation...I was anything but shy in those days...I try to keep the conversation going so I don't have to hear the nasally whine in his voice. (by this time I'm ready to kill my friend for setting us up).

Then his pager goes off. He says, "I need to run by work."

"Sure." I have no idea where work is...come to find out he worked at a funeral home (NO, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP). He pulls up behind the funeral home and there's an ambulance.

We go inside and when I see the stretcher, I take off down one of the hallways...the place is dark, no one else is there and blind date uses his glow in the dark skin to find me a few minutes later (I was sitting on the floor in one of the hallways trying to think of a way to get home) and brings me to the office. I'm shaking like a leaf by then and the guy...who must have mistaken my fear for excitement...tries to kiss me. Luckily the back door chimes again...another body. I knew the ambulance driver, he was a friend of my brother's. I asked him for a ride home since blind date had gotten so busy with work. Blind date tried to call after that, but I told our mutual friend to tell him I wasn't interested.

I still wonder how I would have gotten home if that ambulance driver hadn't arrived (I'm pretty sure I would have run the five miles)...Cell phones are wonderful things!!!

Christi, your and Faye's new book looks wonderful!!! Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

A decade ago, I was set up on a blind date. After a few email exchanges, I called to set the final details. But, I unknowingly transposed two digits of the number. Instead of reaching Rachel, the 29 y/o computer programmer, I reached the father of Rachel - a 14 y/o living in Austin.

After a few minutes of awkward conversation, we realized that I had the wrong number, and that I really wasn't trying to take a teenager out on a date.

I did manage to get the number right, and go on that blind date. After a lot of sake at Benihana (all consumed by her), we seemed to skip all the polite getting-to-know-you conversation. She told me about her mother's suicide. She told me about being part of a cult until recently. She told me about her desire to marry rich. She told me about her boyfriend who didn't touch her anymore.

And that was just dinner.

After dinner, I took her bowling. I had thought it would be a chance to talk more. I didn't realize when I had planned the evening that I wouldn't want to hear anything else by that point. She managed to annoy everyone playing on lanes near us. She mocked me for not drinking (I was the driver).

Then, I made the excuse that I needed to get back home, as I had an early morning lecture. She asked if we could go out again the next night. I explained that I had an interview in San Antonio. I would be traveling there, staying the night in a hotel, then going on the interview the next day. She asked if she could come. Said we could share the room. (Keep in mind, this is within 3 hours of meeting for the first time.)

I declined. And vowed to never go on a blind date again.

Congrats on the book!

Susan M said...

In three weeks I will have been married 48 years, so you can guess how old this story is.

I had just turned 17 (and might have passed for 15 on a good day) and was starting my sr year in high school. A girl in one of my classes called on a Saturday morning and asked if I would go on a blind date whith her and her boyfriend. We weren't espesially friends, just in the same class. I don't know why she called me except it was a good bet I wasn't doing anything on a Sat night.

There was a big deal dance at Rice University and her bf's friend's girlfriend had dropped him at the last minute. Did I want to go?

Hot damn yes I wanted to go. A college dance with a genuine college boy?

He was drunk when they picked me up,but at least he wasn't driving. When we reached the dance my eyes must have looked like saucers. It was a costume party and the outfits were outragous.

We sat at a table and the other couple left to dance. My date pulled out a flask and offered me some. I declined but he kept drinking and moaning about his ex-girlfriend.

Once or twice the other guy asked me to dance. Also a couple of his buddies (a pity dance?) Finally my date says, "I guess we should dance." He grabbed my hand and yanked me onto the dance floor. He jerked around drunkenly and kept lunging at me trying to kiss me.

On the way home he rolled down the window and threw up all the way down Main Street. We took him home first. The other guy tried to hose off the car, but it wasn't all on the outside so that didn't help much.

My date sent me a card the next week and then called and offered to take me to dinner to apoligize. He promised not to drink. I said thanks but no thanks. By then a nice boy from my History class had asked me out.

It would be more romantic if I said we ended up together, but we didn't. Dating him did make my sr year more fun and helped me mature and be ready for college the next year.

Donna Marie Rogers said...

Hi Christie & Faye! Did I tell you I saw your book in one of my favorite mail order catalogs? I was so excited!

Loved #2! The hubby and I have been together for almost a quarter of a century, so I can't really remember much before that. Well, okay, maybe one moment stands out in my mind...LOL My friend and I (17 at the time) picked up a couple of boys at the mall. We're driving around the neighborhood, and the boy decides to kiss me, only he kep biting my lips! LOL And not in a playful good way, but in a 'I'm probably the only girl he's ever kissed' way.

Had some pretty bad times with my ex, like being kidnapped (actually threw my shirt in the trunk so I wouldn't leave the car!), but I'm pretty sure those aren't the kinds of stories you meant. *g*

TerriOsburn said...

These stories are cracking me up. I love the taking a date to the wedding one. LOL! My sympathies to all!

I have some doozies, but we seem to be on a blind date tour, so I'll stick with that. I think I was 20, coworker set me up with her cousin. This would have been '91 or '92 and I don't think this guy knew the 70s were over.

Button up shirt with wide collar, unbuttoned to show off his (puny) chest. I think he might even have been wearing a necklace. Greasy moustache (sp?) and receding hairline. He tried every horrible line ever written and halfway through the date I got so desperate, I called my roommate to come save me.

Once she got there, he proceeded to try all of the exact same lines on her. The man was a toad.

I have the book and it's great!

Christie Craig said...

Hi Caroline!

Waving right back at you. It's so good to see you here.

Thanks so much for dropping in.


Christie Craig said...


I have one of those vaults, but I'm afraid to open it up to shove anymore in. Yup, I'm afraid a few of those memories will jump out and bite me.

Thanks for stopping in.


Christie Craig said...


You have to use this in a scene in a book!! I love it!!!

Thanks for stopping in.


Christie Craig said...

Hi Larry,

Thanks so much for dropping and posting. As my hubby says, it's not just the men causing romantic disasters out there. I think you were wise to keep your distance.

Blind dates are tough, but I do know some people who met on a blind date and it was the beginning of something wonderful. I think as people search for their special someone, they had better be prepared to meet a lot of imperfect someones.

Thanks so much for stopping by.


Christie Craig said...


I can just see you in the car and this guy puking out the window. Oh boy. But I have to admit it took courage for the boy to call you up and apoligize.

Thanks for posting.


Christie Craig said...


Okay, I'll take the guy who doesn't know how to kiss over the ex who threw your shirt in the trunk.

Hey...you can teach a guy how to kiss, it's hard to each someone how NOT to be a jerk.

Thanks for post, girl.


Christie Craig said...


I love it. As sad as it is, this guy probably thought he was really going out of his way to impress you. Then again, hitting on your friend was so not a good thing.

Thanks for posting.

Stacey Joy Netzel said...

Wow-these stories are great! I liked them all, but especially the one about taking a date to her wedding. LOL

Back in HS I dated a guy for about 3 months, but we broke up and he'd never even kissed me. About 5 months later saw him w/another girl and wondered what it'd be like to date him again.

My friend was dating his friend and she blabbed, and next thing I know, we're going out again. Over a month later on a date, we had a running joke through the night that he was so tired he was just dreaming the whole night. Went to see Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and at the end of the date, tired of being 16 and never been kissed, I asked him how he'd kiss me in his dream.

He responds he'd kiss me like Harrison Ford and the heroine kissed in the movie, then he moved in. As his lips met mine, I had a flashback to the movie with Harrison's tongue stuck down her throat and I couldn't help it...I started laughing. I explained why I was laughing, but each time he tried to kiss me again, I couldn't help it.

I didn't officially get kissed for another month, but as we've been married for 17 years now, we've more than made up for lost time.

Diane Kelly said...

The dating circuit is indeed a scary, scary place!

Christie Craig said...


I love it. Great story. Thanks so much for sharing, girl.


Christie Craig said...


I agree 100%. It's a scary place to be. Exciting at times, but scary. I'm glad I'm with my man.


Angel Mautner said...

LOL - so your daughter got the Klutziness from your hubby then, huh? LOL I can totally see this happening.

Divorced at 21 - I was asked out on a date with a friend of a friend who made the suggestion to him (dating was new to me since I married my high school monster). I accepted and he picked me up to go see a movie. Yikes! He had the biggest booger in his nose and I was too embarrassed for him to say anything. I was hoping he would go to the bathroom and figure it out or somehow it would magically remove itself by the time the movie was over.

After the movie he asked if I would like to grab a bite to eat. Yikes! The booger was still there!!!! I told him I had a stomach ache and I should go home. So he dropped me off and leans over to kiss me and I thought to myself...oh no buddy - you had all night to get that thing out of your nose and it’s not about to fall in my mouth! Yuk!

So as he leaned in and as I turned the other way to jump out of the car I quickly said "thank you, have a nice night". I ran to my door and never heard from him again.

As always, I love to hear your stories **hug**