“It’s Only a Little Story for Me” and Other Author Quotes that Just Beg for a Bitch Slap

I recently watched the DVD of “P.S. I Love You.” The movie was sad but sweet, heartbreaking but hopeful. The themes were honest and mature, showing a wisdom surely learned through decades of life on this unpredictable planet of ours. The fact that the movie starred Harry Connick, Jr., Gerard Butler, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan didn’t hurt none, either.

I enjoyed every second of it.

Well, almost every second.

When the movie was over and I’d wiped the tear from my eye, I noticed a bonus feature option displayed on my TV screen - “Interview with the Author, Cecelia Ahern.” I clicked on the feature, fully prepared to hear the middle-aged (or likely older) author discuss how she’d spent years working on the novel, how the hard knocks she’d suffered through her life helped her create this meaningful work.

That’s not what happened.

Instead, an adorable, barely legal blonde Irishwoman popped up on the screen. She went on to say that she’d written the novel at age twenty-one, just for fun. She’d shown chapters to her mother, who encouraged her to submit the manuscript to publishers. But Cecelia protested. Her writing was just a hobby. “It’s only a little story for me,” she’d said.

I nearly burst into flames.

This young woman – oh, let’s be honest, this girl! – had completed a novel at such a tender age, got her manuscript published, achieved international bestseller status, and then got a movie deal, too?

AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!

It took me a decade of hard work, dozens of workshops and writing classes, thousands of dollars in conference and contest fees, and years of revision to land my first book deal. And I was twice this woman’s age when it happened!

I know that the type of instantaneous success Cecelia Ahern achieved, especially at such a young age, is extremely rare. But still, it rankles. If I ever happen to meet this Cecelia Ahern, I’ve got a bitch slap reserved for her. Then I’ll ask for her autograph.

Diane Kelly’s debut novel will be released by St. Martin’s Press in September 2011. Look for her new website at www.dianekelly.com.