St. Valentine’s Curse

There’s a strange phenomenon that occurs in the lives of single women the week before Valentine’s Day. Their phones stop ringing. Completely stop. Not a peep from anyone of the male species. Apparently there was one girl out there that gave us all a bad rep by becoming overly affectionate one fateful Valentine’s Day, and every man since then has passed down the urban legend that if you have any contact whatsoever with a woman on Valentine’s Day, she will stalk you until there’s a four carat, emerald cut diamond sparkling on her left ring finger.

Or so it would seem.

Not one measly phone call have I received. Since Monday!

Remember cute Personal Trainer Guy? Nothing. Mr. Wonderful? Silent. Even a guy I met for coffee this past week (whom I will be blogging about in depth in the future!) didn’t have the cajones to text a simple little “Happy Vday” to me.

Now, I might think this is just coincidence. That maybe things were just fizzling out with Mr. Wonderful, that maybe the romance in the air made Personal Trainer Guy realize we just weren’t a good match after all. But, this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced St. Valentine’s curse.

Last year I’d been seeing two different eligible bachelors for a couple months each when Valentine’s Day rolled around. I awoke hopeful, sure that by noon I’d have at least one offer of dinner and a movie for the evening.

Hopes that soared even higher when, as I poured my morning coffee, I saw a flower delivery truck pull up. I raced downstairs, opened the front door… and saw the delivery guy walk up to my neighbor’s front door. Okay, so maybe expecting roses was a little much at this point. Things were still new with both guys. No exclusive relationship yet, probably too early to look for roses. Fine, no biggie.

Instead, I took my coffee upstairs and got to work writing (making sure that my phone was on and within arm’s reach). So deep into Maddie’s latest adventure was I that it wasn’t until I broke for lunch when I realized I still hadn’t received any calls. A little worrisome. But, I didn’t give up hope. It was still early… ish.

Around three that afternoon the mailman drove up in his little truck and I watched from my window as he slipped a bright red envelop into my mailbox. Red on a day like today could only mean one thing! Doing a little squee of delight, I again raced downstairs to see which of my suitors had sent me a card.

Neither. It was from my step-mother. Sigh.

By dinnertime it became readily apparent that I was not being wined and dined that night. But, I still had hopes that at least one of my potential Mr. Rights would call before the night was over to wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day. Surely they would at least do that, right?

So, as I watched “A Charlie Brown Valentine” I also watched my silent phone like a hawk. And watched. And watched. By the time I’d finished off an entire box of heart shaped chocolates and the very un-Valentiney movie “Love Stinks”, it became clear that I was not going to be wished a Happy Valentine’s Day. Secretly hoping they both choked on candied sweethearts, I went to bed.

Sad, yes. But, it gets better.

The next day, after I’d drawn little devil horns and blacked out teeth on both their pictures, my phone rings. It’s Guy Number One. Thinking he’s got an awful lot of nerve calling now after the stony silence yesterday, I pick up with a chilly, “What?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says.

“Day late and a dollar short, pal.”

He’s quiet. Then, “What do you mean?”

“Valentine’s Day was yesterday.”

More silence. Then, “Really? Are you sure it’s not today?”

Mental forehead smack.

Please tell me some of you out there had better Valentine’s Days this year?

~Trigger Happy Halliday