Gemma’s Oscar wrap up

Show of hands – who watched the Oscars last night? Me, I was glued to the TV from 3pm when Ryan Seacrest was standing in the shrubs beside an empty red carpet to the moment Barbara Walters finished her last post-show celebrity interview. The excitement, the drama, the fashions – I loved it all! My best friend Suze and have compiled a list of a few of the evening’s highlights and lowlights:

Highlight:
The dresses! OMG – they were all fabulous. Color was definitely in this year, did you see all those red dresses? Jewelry tended to be understated, (except Nicole Kidman who looked like she robbed an entire jewelry store before going on stage) but the one-shoulder was the look of the evening. I was not totally crazy about the “butt huge-ing dresses” (as Suze and I dubbed them) that seemed to have an extra layer of fabric right around the derriere. Cameron Diaz – a toothpick skinny gal – was one of the butt huge-ing victims last night. Not uber flattering, girl. But, I absolutely loved Marion Cotillard’s mermaid dress, and Katherine Heigl looked so old Hollywood chic I sighed out loud. One of my favs, Helen Mirren’s gorgeous red gown – glamorous, blingy, but perfectly appropriate and simply elegant.



The worst of the bunch was a tie between Daniel Day Lewis’s wife (Those silly red bow straps and that gawdy jeweled looking thing on the front of her dress. Honey, it’s the Oscars, splurge for a stylist next time!) and Tilda Swinton (a gorgeous woman who showed up in a black shiny potato sack with one arm cut off. As Suze said: Kudos on the Oscar – maybe now you can afford the other sleeve!)



Lowlight:
Music cutting into acceptance speeches! Is it just me, or did it seem like they cut the speeches of all ‘non-important’ winners this year? Whatever happened to giving people their 15 minutes of fame? At fifteen seconds the most important moment in their careers was cut short with swelling elevator music. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone puts a hit out on the orchestra. Huge kudos to Jon Stewart for bringing Marketa Irglova (Original Song winner) back out on the stage to give the acceptance the orchestra robbed her of.

Highlight:
That a tattooed former exotic dancer really can win an Oscar. And in leopard print no less! Diablo Cody for best original screenplay with Juno. (Now, tell me that’s not a great stripper name?)

Lowlight:
What the heck was on the floor that everyone kept slipping on? Love the way Colin Farrell played it off, but seriously, couldn’t someone have mopped up first?



Highlight:
Best presenter of the evening – Miley Cyrus. There is no way that girl is fifteen. I think she came out of the womb performing. Serious seasoned veteran.

Lowlight:
Worst presenters – a tie between Jennifer Hudson (more deer in the headlights than Bambi) and Katherine Heigl (love her as I do, never start out a speech by saying ‘Wow, I’m probably gonna blow this one’).

Highlight:
The flashbacks to previous Oscar years. I loved reliving some of my favorite past Oscar moments and seeing the legendary ones that came before my time. Didn’t Shirley Temple look adorable? I think the Oscar statue was bigger than she was!

Lowlight:
No Oscar (again!) for Johnny Depp. And didn’t he look hot sitting there with his little goatee and glasses? Sweeney Todd was one of my favorite movies last year and I was yelling at the screen when he didn’t go home with a shiny gold guy. Is it just me, or does the academy tend to snub all the films that I’ve actually heard of? Suze’s take: An Oscar is a consolation prize for the actors and movies that don’t make any money.

Highlight:
Best couple: Steve Carell and Nancy Wells. Not only did they look spectacular, they have red carpet banter down to a science and actually looked like they were having a great time together.



Lowlight:
Worst couple – George Clooney and his Barbie doll. Don’t get me wrong, George is a good looking man at any age. But there’s a point where dating a women that much younger than you just starts to look silly. As Suze so aptly put it, “Wasn’t it nice of him to bring his granddaughter to the Oscars?”

One more note – neither high or low – but I found odd. Not one of the acceptance speeches I heard (granted, I was yelling at the screen during some (poor Johnny!), so I may have missed a few lines) thanked God last night. Not that I’m telling people who to thank, but he’s usually the first one in the speeches, right before Mom and their seventh grade drama teacher. Apparently God has become lass fashionable this year.

Okay, that’s my snarkalicious Oscar wrap. Dish gals, what was your favorite or most screen-yelling moment of the show?

~Trigger Happy Halliday