Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Rejection, Gambling and Homecoming Surprising

Well, last week I went and spoke to the Southern Magic Romance Writers of America chapter about rejection. They are a great bunch of writers…(plus, they talk like me, with a southern-real-lady-like drawl. Now, I didn’t say we were all real ladies, I’m just saying we sound like we are — and I kind of miss hearing that twang.) Anyway, I had a blast in Alabama. I might have convinced them that getting a rejection isn’t the worst thing in the world. And don’t we all know that in life, and especially in the writing business, rejection is part of the game. And speaking of games...

My dad, his gal Faye and I went to Philadelphia, Mississippi to the casino, and I learned once again what rejection feels like. Paid dearly for it, too. One dollar slot at a time! Ahh, but I still had a blast. Over all, I felt bad about leaving my $200 bucks behind, (I’m sure they’re gonna miss me) but I don’t think I felt nearly as bad as the guy I watched lose close to $10,000. I seriously had heart palpitations and it wasn’t because he was good looking, either. (Nope, we’re talking a real shed over his tools if you know what I mean.) But seriously, can you imagine him going home and explaining to his wife, “Sweetheart, you know the inheritance that Aunt Bessie left and you had hid under the mattress . . . ?” Honest, that’s where he said he got the money!

But this blog really isn’t about rejection, gambling, or beer-bellied men who have a death wish (although, I think I could blog about all three), this blog is about coming home.

Now, I’m certain that my homecoming probably went smoother than the afore-mentioned gentleman-with-a-nice-shed’s did, but my homecoming still left something to be desired.

Have you ever seen that cartoon where the guy is sitting in the bathtub with a week’s worth of dishes all around him and his wife walks in with a suitcase and he says, “Honey, I didn’t expect you home until this afternoon,” Well, let’s just say my hubby never got around to taking a bath.

Ahh, but the dishes weren’t the biggest issue at hand. It was the underwear on the kitchen floor that had me beside myself. In my husband’s defense, the dirty tightie-whities belonged to my son.

But even the underwear wasn’t the worst of it. Oh, no, it was the explanation of not one, but two emergency room trips.

Did you know you could drop a 100-pound tool (not the same kind of tool that the gambler had!) on your toe and not break it? Of course, that explained why hubby was limping as he came to pick me up at the baggage claim.

The second emergency room trip was for my son, who had, not one, but three medical issues at hand: 1) a pulled muscle in his shoulder. (Could this be why he never stooped over to pick up his underwear?) 2) A sudden inflamed knee, (Maybe that’s why he didn’t snatch his skibbies off my kitchen floor) and 3) (this one is hard to believe, guys) a pimple in his ear. Yup, you read that right. I’m sure those nurses looked at each other and said, “His mama must be out of town!”

Now, I wish I could tell you that was it, but nope, there was one other homecoming surprise. I was so wrapped up in the underwear, dishes, and emergency room adventures that I almost didn’t notice that my son was making regular trips to the fridge, snatching produce, and slipping outside.


Now, I considered that my son had suddenly grown to love his vegetables, and had a fetish about only eating them outside under the night sky. Hey, it could have been that! But then I recognized it. The look of guilt. It came from both hubby and son. It sort of reminded me of the time I discovered that my son had just brought home the rats. Yeah, remember them?

So I waited until my son got back in without said produce and confronted him. “What are you hiding? And don’t tell me it’s a veggie fetish, because I’ve already ruled that one out.”

He didn’t even try playing innocent. “They were going to cook it if I didn’t bring it home,” said my son. “It just showed up at work and was eating the plants. I thought it was wild, but then it rolled over and wanted me to rub its belly.”

“Cook what?” I asked, remembering him saying he wanted a pot-bellied pig, and then my mind shot to the other pot-bellied creature I'd met gambling, and right then I started getting those heart palpitations again. Seriously, I drew the line with the possums, raccoons, and rats.

“It’s sweet, mama. Great photo ops.”

“It really is,” said my hubby, who guiltily limped over to join the conversation. Never had I wanted to step on anyone's toe more than right then!

“What is it?” I asked again, now remembering the emus this guy had on his farm a few miles up the road. I was not going to become the weird lady who owned Big Bird. I was already the weird lady who wrote books and fed strays and had a wild assortment of creatures. At that moment, I became determined, if whatever was in the garage was eatable, I was cooking it.

Of course, I didn’t mean it. Damn, my soft Alabama southern-lady heart! Anyway, I’d like you to meet the newest addition to the Craig household. And I have to tell you, he is kind of cute.

The scary thing is that next week, I’m off to California to give two more workshops at RWA chapters. This time I’ll be gone for over a week.

So here’s what I want to know from you: What’s the worst thing that you came home to after being away? Hey, I figure if I expect the worse then, at least I’ll be prepared. Oh, yeah, I also need a name for the new addition to the family. I thought about Fabio, like the dog in my book, Divorced, Desperate and Delicious, or I could go with something like… Lucky Foot. Okay, I might be reaching. So help me out. And I’ll also be giving away a set of notecards to one lucky poster. So post away.

Crime Scene Christie


Natasha said...

One trip to the ER when I was gone for a week, so you got me beat. My daughter (about 10 at the time) fell off her bike while barreling down a gravel road and really did a number on her face and side. Still carries the scars to prove it, poor thing. I didn't hear about that until I got home.

Hmm, kinda makes me nervous to take off for RT convention next month (at least the daughter is out of the house now, but the son and hubby are still there.)

Congrats on the new member of the family lol.

Lucy said...

Ahhh, what a sweet addition to the family. And I'm glad your son saved it. Don't want to think about what would have happened if he hadn't.

It will be interesting to hear what trouble the boys get into when you're in California. ;-)

Christie Craig said...

Thanks for posting Natasha!

Oh goodness, I hate hearing about you little girl. But it sounds as if she's fine.

And thanks of congrats on the new member of the family. He is sort of cute.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


I am worried about them while I'm in Ca..

I'm just hoping they got everything out of their system.

Crime Scene Christie

Anonymous said...

Hmmm....Names for the rabbit.
Disaster - Dis for short
Chef Bunny
My favorite is Skivies :)

Christie Craig said...

Hey Bookmobiler,

I like Skivis. It would remind me of the weekend he was brought into the Craig pack.

Crime Scene Christie

Kathy Bacus said...

Hmmm. Let's see. Disasters I came home to. Would you believe ZERO!? The reason? I rarely get to go anywhere without the Bullet Hole Brigade so we generally take our misadventures on the road.

I have seen the 'look' you probably had on your face when you saw the bunny, Christie. (Are we calling him Skivies, btw? ... And is it a him?) My mother, no doubt, wore a similar look on a number of occasions. You see, I was the one who brought home the critters. Snapping turtles, baby chicks, spotted mice, puppies, the odd horse... ;)

Enjoy your week in California.

If you dare.

~Bullet Hole~

Anonymous said...

Christie, what a cute bunny! I like Skivies as a name, too.


Christie Craig said...


I guess with three at home, it might be too risky. (smile) But I'll bet you've had some great on-the-road adventures, or misadventures.

And yep, I'm sure you'd recognize the look.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


Thanks for posting girl.

Yep, I'm seriously considering Skivies. Beats Lucky Foot.

Crime Scene Christie

Teri Thackston said...

Another member for the menagerie, huh? What do the cats and Jake think of this one?

Christie Craig said...

Hi Teri!

Jake and kitties are slowly being introduced to the new member.

Actually, the little guys is calling the garage his home for now. We're the process for building him a nice big cage outdoors.

He's for sure a domesticated creature, but I'm not sure how long he lived in the wild.

That said, my hubby put a litter box in the garabge and amazingly, the critter is using it.


Wendy Roberts said...

The rabbit in my newest book is named Hairy ;)

Christie Craig said...


Hairy, huh? I like that too.

Thanks for stopping by.

Crime Scene Christie

anne said...

The bunny is adorable. A name I always liked was Monty.
When my son was very young he knocked his forehead against the couch arm and split his forehead necessitating stitches. It happened so fast I could not believe that weird thing.

ruth said...

What a sweetheart! Always a joy to come home. I think that he suits the name Latte.

pearl said...

Another cute critter. Dolce would be my choice for a name. Enjoy!
My son fell off his bike and went headfirst into the pavement. Not a pretty sight.

Christie Craig said...

Hey Anne,

Monty....hmmm...I like that too.

And about those stitches...Ouch! It always pains me to see the young one hurt. And they do happen fast.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


Latte,huh? I like that one too.

I could use a latte, right now. Thanks for posting.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


Dulce? Is that sweet in Spanish?

I like....

Thanks for posting girl.

And another ouch on the bike accident. Boy did we have a bunch of those type of opps with my two.

Crime Scene Christie

diane said...

He is irresistible. He looks like a Biscuit. Quite a story when you arrived home. Love it.

Angie Fox said...

You're a brave, brave woman to leave again. But seriously, the bunny is way cute. I had a rabbit growing up and they're very affectionate.

As far as conference disasters go, I always seem to return to a house that smells strongly of Pine Sol, but I don't ask any questions. As long as it's cleaned up before they come get me at the airport. Now the laundry is never done, but that's okay because the basket is never quite empty when I'm home anyway.

Tambra said...

Hi Christie,

I love the rabbit! They have lots of good points-quiet and easy to clean up after.

I never came home to any disasters while at RWA conferences. A miracles for sure with two boys a year apart.

Bunny names:
Cottontail (Thanks Beatrix, my fave children's author)

Caramel (referring to fur colors)


Have fun with the bunny!

Christie Craig said...

Hi Diane,

Hmmm? Biscuit. Oh, my I love all the names.

And yup, the homecoming was definitely blog worthy.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


I'd go for the aroma of pine sol any day of the week. Like you said, what you don't know, can't hurt you.

Thanks for stopping by.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Hi Tambra!

Thanks for stopping by. Oh, goodness, more great names. I may have to give three names.

Crime Scene Christie

Tori Lennox said...

Oh, the bunny's sweet!

When I've come home to a mess it's one I left so I have nobody to blame but myself. *g* One of the perks of being single.

Christie Craig said...

Ah, Tori,

So true. No one to have to clean up after. But then again, there's no one to blame either.

Crime Scene Christie

catslady said...

This is when I'm glad I have daughters - I'm still trying to figure out the underwear in the kitchen??? The only thing I can remember is myhusband taking my daughter to get her ears pierced when I had told her she had to wait. I like the name skivies lol.

Christie Craig said...

Hi Catslady,

The earpiercing episode is familiar around here, too.

I remember the time the boy asked for a bird. We had a policy. No birds. But when I came home from a weekend away, son had a bird.

Crime Scene Christie

Estella said...

What a cute bunny!
My daughter brought home 2 white rats while I was having a hysterectomy. They were both supposed to be males. NOT! One of them popped our 12 little bay rats. Then they went into separate cages and then they went bye bye---all of the. To the pet store!

jenna said...

We have two kitties, Toby and Eli. Your bunny addition is unique and sweet. I would name him Biscotti.

Christie Craig said...


Oh...we had the two male gerbils when I was little. NOT!

The rabbit is sweetie.

Thanks for posting.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


Biscotti, huh? I like that too.

I love kitties. Got four of them little guys. It's like a zoo.

Crime Scene Christie

Anonymous said...

Darn, Skivies (skibies?) was already suggested.

If you are already the eccentric neighbor, I can only imagine the reaction if the bunny gets loose again and they hear you calling, "Here, Skivies."

Or how about "Have you seen my son's Skivies?"

Looking forward to your visit to OCC/RWA on Saturday.

Sue Phillips w/a Gillian Doyle

Christie Craig said...

Hi Sue/Gillian,

Oh boy, I can see me out calling for Skivis! LOL. Not that my neighbors would be surprised. They got me down at the strange lady already.

I'm looking forward to coming to OCC. Hmm...but I am a little nervous to what I will come home to!

Crime Scene Christie

ms Terry in Gadsden Alabama said...

COOKIE , would be a good name or that name. You know those things that multiply in your computer that slow it down. Hey Christie you need to start your own tv show like one of those shows where the camera is going on 24 /7 . It would sell. It was good to see you while you were in Alabama. Looks like I should have gone to Mississippi with ya'll after all.
I look forward to Tusedays so i can see what happened each week.

I used to dread coming home and seeing this one car in my drive way I knew it meant they'd be there til 3 am and I have to work the next day. This person didnt know when to leave and once I said I really have to go to work tomorrow so I need to go to bed. He let me know that he was company and that I wasnt supposed to treat him that way. I finally learned why some people pretend not to be home when you ring their door bell. Once you let some people in you'll never get rid of them.

People here in ALABAMA who bought D D D are begging for more.
I've told them its coming.

Dru said...

I like floppy.

Jenyfer Matthews said...

The bunny is so much cuter than what I was expecting you to find out in the garage!!!

The worst thing I ever came home to was a house full of stomach virus victims. My husband and son had been puking and...other things... for about four of the 10 days I was gone. My daughter thoughtfully waited until the day I returned to start. You can just imagine the state of the house by that point. I'm surprised the cats weren't puking!

My latest trip last month was a bit smoother. I was only gone for four days. Everyone was alive and well but there was no food in the house and lots of laundry to put away.

If you name the bunny Skivies your son will have a constant reminder of where NOT to leave his!!!

Christie Craig said...

Hi Terry,

It was good to see you too.

Hmmm...Cookie,huh? Like the cookies you got off my dad's computer? Thanks for that by the way.

And thanks for telling everyone about Weddings Can Be Murder. I can't wait to have it hit the book shelves.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


Floppy would work, too.

How about Floppy Skivies?

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...


With my son, and hubby, there really was no guessing to what was in the garage. I consider myself lucky.

And your coming home surprise trumps mine. Yikes.

Crime Scene Christie

Susan Gable said...

One year after RWA National, I came home to find a ginormous wide-screen tv.

I always have to wonder what my dh will buy each year when I'm at National.

Christie Craig said...


Thanks for posting! Too funny. Once I came home and my hubby had a boat. I've never let him forget it either! And when he goes away, I always threatened to get even.

Crime Scene Christie

Kim Lenox said...

Oh, adorable!! What a cutie!

I'm horrible at gambling.

Great and very enjoyable post, Christie!

Christie Craig said...

Hi Kim,

First I love your cover! Yum!

Second, I'm not horrble at gambling, I just seem to lose all the time! (smile)

Thanks for posting.

Crime Scene Christie