Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Pet Peeves



According to Mr. Webster, a pet peeve is a subject of frequent complaint. Now, I don’t want to question Mr. Webster. I’m sure the fellow has been around a little longer than I have and knows more than I do. (I mean, it probably didn’t take him about 15 years to get his book published like it did me, and that book of his has been out quite a while and has returned for numerous reprints and updates.) But even knowing all that, I gotta say I think he’s selling pet peeves short. Either that or he’s lived in a padded room all his life with nothing more to annoy him than his own slowly growing toenails. And considering how boring his book is, that might be true. I mean, do you know anyone who has actually read the whole thing in one sitting?

Now, in my opinion, pet peeves aren’t just “subjects of frequent complaint.” To the contrary, they are things that pick away at our sanity, gnaw away at our last nerve, chew a little on our mental health, and down right just piss us off to no end.

Now, I admit. This may just be my personal opinion, but some pet peeves are justified. Sort of like homicide. I mean, right now there is one former state official, of one certain state, that if his wife decided to pull his plug, and I accidentally found my way onto her jury, I would be hard pressed not to give her TIME.

Wait!

I can see all of you women out there, and a few men, starting to get red around the ears. Hear me out before you pass judgment. I would be hard pressed not to give her time, time as in a couple of months in a nice spa where she would be rewarded and pampered for doing a much-needed service. (I guess you might have figured out that one of my pet peeves is cheaters.)

Anyway, the justified pet peeves generally involve some form of lack of intelligence in other people. Like the math-impaired folks of the world. Now, don’t go overreacting again. I failed algebra too. I’m talking about a specific kind of math impairment, like the kind you find in the grocery store. You know what I mean. It’s when the person in front of you in the twelve-or-less checkout line has enough items in their basket to feed a family of twelve, when all you have is a gallon of quickly melting ice cream. Yeah, that type of math impairment.

Then, there’s the cutters and the cutter sympathizers. By cutters, I mean line cutters, not people with knives. Though, now that I think about it, I don’t care about not-so-nice people with knives, either. (It goes back to the Pizza Hut incident.) And yes, line-cutters includes people in cars, too.

Please! Is it just me, or do you hate the people who zip past you at amazing speeds in the right lane even when the sign clearly says . . . “Right Lane Closed?” I mean, you did the right thing and got in the left lane, but you are moving at a pace that wouldn’t impress a one-legged, elderly snail walking the green mile because someone up the way, (namely . . . the cutter sympathizers) are letting all the cutters in.

Yup, those are what I call justified pet peeves. And then there’s the other kind.

You know where am I’m going, don’t you?

The other pet peeves are just . . . stupid, idiotic things that for no good reason drive us bonkers. Most of us have them, too. And just to prove it, I’m gonna share mine.

I have a big aversion to, meaning I seriously loath . . . lemon seeds. Oh, I love lemon juice. As a matter of fact, I won’t drink water unless it has a good squirt of lemon juice in it. But I will spend a good ten minutes picking out those little slimly seed suckers before I give it the squirt. Hubby used to make a habit of showing me all the seeds in his glass. Of course, he stopped, because I don’t kiss him for a week. And without kisses, I’m not bedroom friendly if you know what I mean.

Okay, my other off-the-wall pet peeve is maybe even a little stranger than the seed aversion. It’s . . . water in my shoes. I love pretty sandals, but I’m down-right phobic about wearing them because . . . what if it rains? (And trust me, living in Houston, just because the sky is clear and blue, doesn’t mean it won’t be raining ten minutes from now.) What if my sandals get wet? You know, those water shoes people wear into the swimming pool and at the beach. I’m pretty sure Satan invented them.

Now, I have no reason why lemon seeds makes me want to toss my cookies, or why I’d rather walk across hot coals than walk in a pair of wet shoes, but that’s the thing about these type of pet peeves. They don’t always make sense, they don’t even have to. They aren’t justified, and for the most part in normal circumstances we wouldn’t share these things, but since when have we at Killer Fiction been normal?

So . . . come on, let’s share all our bizarre pet peeves. Hey, I shared with you.

Crime Scene Christie

38 comments:

Kim Lenox said...

We share a peeve! Cutters!! Patooey! Every day when I pick my kids up from school, there is a long line of cars down the street in front of the school. Almost every day, the same parent shows up, and will place her car perpendicular across two lanes of traffic (holding up any regular street traffic) until someone lets her cut in at the front of the line. I always wonder what is in that person's head. Why do they think the rest of us should wait our turn in line, but not them?

My other peeve is cell phones. Yes, I have a cell phone, and yes, I use it. But there are times and places where the phone should be put away.

Christie Craig said...

Kim,

Seriously, cutters are the worse. As for what is in their heads. Nothing!! They are idiots. Egotistical idiots.

And cell phones...Yup, they do create some awkward moments. Especially if the person is having a personal conversation in a public place. And how are we expected not to list when something is said like, "I don't think it's his baby." And then they look at you, as if accusing you of listening. I don’t know about you guys, but I seriously haven’t found my volume switch in my brain yet.

Crime Scene Christie

Lark Howard said...

Cutters, definitely.

People who honk at you to hurry or ride your butt when you're driving the speed limit in a school.

People with weird, super-involved orders at Starbucks. Where do they come up with those formulas anyhow? It's coffee!!

Women who complain they can't find clothes small enough to fit them--size 00 is just too big. I'm sooooo tempted to tie them up and stuff a plate of lasagna and a double chocolate cheesecake down their throats.

Gee, this topic seems to have brought out a lot of hositility for so early in the morning. Maybe I should go to Starbucks for a TALL COFFEE!!!!!! :)

Christie Craig said...

Oh Lark,

LMAO! Can I help you shove the cheesecake down the throat of the "Can't find clothes to fit" people. Hmm...Double chocolate cheesecake? Maybe I'll run get us some "normal" Starbucks and we can just eat the cheesecake. What cha' think?



Crime Scene Christie

Keri Ford said...

I agree, Mr. Webster was a bit off base with that one.

Cutters suck, it doesn't matter what kind of line, and age is of no excuse.

Can't stand when I'm eating, say mac&cheese and somebody stops and says, "Eww...what are you eating?"

Similar to the before, when I'm asked "what are you doing" and it's so obvious, as in I'm reading a book or watching tv.

Hearing people eat certain foods. Yes, certain foods, some foods you just can't aviod making noise, but things like Reese Cups do not require noise.

The biggie with me is when things are out of balance. *shudder* it's like fingers on a chalk board. And it can be anything, but especially with reading. Sometimes when reading I'll come across two items in a listing, when there should always be three or more or else it doesn't flow right. Sentences that are out of balance, or maybe cadence would be a better word. If I'm not making sense, I'll find examples.

Gemma Halliday said...

OMG – I’m that chick airing her dirty laundry on her cell phone while making the complicated Starbucks order! :O Apologies to both Kim and Lark.

I’ve got two biggies.

People who chew with their mouth open. Rude, gross, eww.

Misuse of the word literally. I swear, it’s rampant. Even the most well educated people seem to think “literally” is just an extra word they can throw into any sentence to spice it up a little. And, Mr. Channel Four Weather Man, to the best of my knowledge, it has never “literally rained cats and dogs” in the San Francisco Bay Area.

~Gemma

Christie Craig said...

Keri,

LOL! I agree with all your pet peeves. The mac & cheese, especially.

And your Pet Ps reminded me of another one of mine. When someone comes up to you and says..."Awwww, this sticks, smell it." Or, even worse, "Awwww, this tastes bad, I think it's bad, taste it."

I mean...jeepers people, if it smells bad why should I stick my nose in it. Or if it tastes bad, do you want me to be sick with you?

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Gemma,

I totally agree. No need to show me what you're eating after it goes between your lips.

And hey, just make all those personal conversations really interesting for us, okay?

And I literally agree with you on the word use. (Smile)

Crime Scene Christie

Terri Osburn said...

Oh, I've got major peeves. The people in this area (Hampton Roads, VA - YEAH I'll say it!) cannot drive. Make me nuts. Just this morning a trucker refused to let me merge off the exit and forced me onto the shoulder of the road. Stupid a.....

The silly peeves for me are texture stuff. There is that material they use to make purses and bags that is sort of ribbed. Almost like thin cordoroy. Not sure what it is but when my nails go across it, it makes my skin crawl. Very weird.

Christie Craig said...

Terrio,

Bad drivers are major Pet Ps. I mean, they can kill you!

Texture, huh? I know someone who has a texture problem with foods. They love nuts, but don't like them in anything smooth. Odd. I love nuts in anything. But like I said, these pet peeves don't have to make sense.

Crime Scene Christie

Keri Ford said...

Gemma, your dirty laundry won't be bother me! I like to listen to see if somebody I know might be getting discussed. And Christie, if I get nasty looks, I take the stand-point of, 'you don't want me to listen, then you should take your private conversation somewhere private'

Lark Howard said...

What is it about cell phones that people think you can't hear them?
I once heard a husband's side of a argument with his wife over their sex life while waiting for a prescription in Walgreens. Apparently she was unhappy with the size of his equipment and he was unhappy with her size in general. It was so funny my snickers turned into gaffaws and he glared at me like I was demented. Hmmmmm. Yeah, I was definitely the one with the problem. :)

Christie Craig said...

Keri,

I agree. I mean, seriously, it's as if they think you hearing them is your choice and not their's. I can try not to pay attention, but my tune out talent isn't always working at its best.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Lark,

I would have been with you. I think the worse conversation I had to listen to was about a woman's dog and its gas.

Okay...I admit it, I do talk about my dog's bad habits, but not while I'm in line to get a burger and fries.

Crime Scene Christie

Gemma Halliday said...

Okay, that's just funny, Lark.
If I see someone listening to my convo, I always spice it up for them. ;) Hey, it's the least I can do to make waiting in line more fun.

~Gemma

Christie Craig said...

Gemma,

I wish I could stand behind you in all my lines.

Crime Scene Christie

Beth said...

Major pet peeves-
-People who buy cars they can neither drive nor park. They should literally make everyone who buys an SUV take a course on how to drive it and to park it in only ONE space.
-People who take their dogs literally EVERYWHERE!!! I hate, hate, hate that!
-People who literally say 'like' every other word.

Sorry Gemma, I had to do it since you caught me using 'literally' in the 3 pages of my ms that you critiqued. BTW-literally got hit with the big delete button... literally.

Christie Craig said...

Ahh, Beth,

I agree, people with big cars need a special license. Especially to park. Do they not see the lines and understand they need to park between them? Why do they insist on parking in the compact spots and taking up two spaces?

And that delete key comes in handy sometimes, doesn't it?

Crime Scene Christie

Terri Osburn said...

Christie - I have that texture one too only I've always thought of it more as a quirk. Love chocolate chip cookie dough. CANNOT eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Ice cream is not supposed to have anything crunchy in it. I think it must be some dormant fear of eating bugs. But I can't eat anything in my ice cream but...ice cream.

That drug store convo is cracking me up. I would have gone to that wall of pamphlets and tried to find him the appropriate information. LOL! But then, they probably didn't have the pamphlet of a good divorce lawyer up there.

Anonymous said...

Oh, do NOT get me started on those horrible cutters!

ROFL re it "literally raining cats & dogs"!!!

One of my personal weird quirks is I hate the various foods on my plate to touch. Why? Absolutely no clue. *g*

Christie Craig said...

Terrio,

You see, I love crunchy stuff in my ice cream. Nuts, chucks of chocolate, yum.

That's what makes these quirks/pet peeves, (I think they are almost the same thing) so interesting. Now, the whole bug concept makes me wonder. I mean, I'm the type to always find a reason for behavior, a logical explanation, but my pet peeves don't seem to have one.

And yup, a good divorce lawyer brochure, or penal implant brochure, would have been great to hand the drugstore talker.

Crime Scene Christie

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Tori,

My husband and I were just talking about strange eating pet peeves, my father-in-law, a real balanced eater, had to eat one bite of everything in the same order. If something ran out, he couldn't eat any more of anything.

My son eats only one thing at a time.

We are all strange birds, aren't we?

Estella said...

My biggest pet peeve is people talking on cell phones and driving.

Gemma Halliday said...

Lol! Love ya, Beth! ;)

~Gemma

Christie Craig said...

Estella,

I agree. Especially when the cell phone talker is talking and curling their eyelashes. I'm all for multi-tasking but please.

Crime Scene Christie

Dru said...

I have the same rain thing..Rain can not touch my arms. If it is 100 degrees outside and raining, I must have on a jacket.

My main pet peeves is lack of manner. Thank you - 2 little words. Please - 1 little word.

I know what you mean about the express food line and those that like to cut in front of you.

oh another one..people who wear backpacks and get on a crowded bus/train without taking it off. Don't they realize a backpack takes up space.

Christie Craig said...

Dru,

Thanks for posting. I feel a tad better know someone else out there shares at least a similar pet peeve.

Oh, and backpacks are the worse. Especially when you are trying to board a plane. Duh, can't they take it off for a minute?

Crime Scene Christie

Minna said...

One of my pet peeves is the incorrect usage of foreign words in books. I don't mind if there are some, when the writer knows how to use them, but... Well, for instance in one book I read there was this Finnish character Jarl Hendrick -even the name was odd for a Finn- who among other thing called the heroine "nainen" and the writer claimed the word meant "my woman". Riiight...

Jana DeLeon said...

People who talk on cell phones in the movie theater - DURING the movie.

People who let their kids run wild in public.

I hate the line cutters too!

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Most of my pet peeves are in other people, does that count?

I can't stand when people chew with their mouths open. And loud breathers. Ran across a guy this weekend who was practically snoring while he was awake. I wanted to throttle him - don't know how his wife could stand it!

Christie Craig said...

Minna,

I can see how misused foreign words could annoy someone who knew the language. I know being accused of not knowing one’s language, when you know it, is a real annoyance. I was in Venezuela and I met a man in a circus who claimed to speak ten languages, English among them. I said hello to him in English and he totally flipped out on me and accused me of not being American and just dying my hair so I would like one. He pretty much ticked me off.

Those pet peeves are numerous, aren't they?

Thanks for posting.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Jana,

Oh yes! People who talk on the cell phone in the movies are the most annoying.

Kids running wild? Hmm... I'll take out the cutter and inappropriate cell phone user before I go for the kids.

Crime Scene Christie

Christie Craig said...

Hi Jenyfer!

Bad table manners are bad.

Hmm...my hubby snores. Don't tell him I told you. I've learned to tune it out and now use it as background noise to sleep by.

Crime Scene Christie

Hellie Sinclair said...

Pet Peeve. This one positively makes my eyelid twitch in that spasm that preludes a stroke:

When people call about their application (is it complete or did this come in) or even call the house to ask if so-and-so is there? AND I SAY: "No, *none* of your references have arrived." OR "Eldon isn't here. He went to town."

And the response I get back is:

"None of them are there? So Dr. Phil's letter hasn't come in?"

That's what I just BLEEPing said.

OR

"So he's not there?"

That's EXACTLY what I just said.

It makes me completely deranged when this occurs, and it occurs about 5 times a day.

Hellie Sinclair said...

I have the same problem about food on my plate touching too. Won't eat pineapple on my pizza because savory foods should not have fruit or sugar in them. (I hate for spaghetti sauce to be sweet. Argh.) AND I remember vividly I ordered Chinese food and was with a friend; I had to get a drink or go to the bathroom--and while I was gone, in her BOREDOM, she'd stirred the extra sauce from the veggies into my white rice. I couldn't eat it after that, because I don't like my rice coated in crap. I eat them separately; or as separate bits on the same fork. It didn't, I kid you not, TASTE the same when she mixed it up.

Christie Craig said...

Mshellion,

So "repeators" are your pet peeve. I guess if I had to deal with them all day, they be on my pet peeve list, too.

Now the food thing? I hear that the no-food-touching issue is actually a good weight loss trick. If nothing can touch on your plate, you aren't giving yourself big portions. I need to subscribe to that pet peeve.

As for sweet on salty? Funny, I use to be the same way, but after sampling some really good sweet honey sauce on baked chicken, I sort of changed. But because I used to be that way, I can totally relate.

Thanks for posting and sharing your PPs with us.

Crime Scene Christie

Kathy Bacus said...

My pet peeve? Twig-skinny people who are always yammering about not being able to eat because they are on a diet.

I also go bonkers when it appears I'm the only person in my household capable of replacing the toilet paper roll and the toothpaste cap. Trivial? Yes. But there you have it.

~Bullet Hole~

Anonymous said...

Too funny, girl.

Faye