Thursday, February 28, 2008

Past due for a new 'do'...Bullet Hole Needs a Makeover!

There are some real 'girly girls' here at Killer Fiction. I'm not mentioning any names. They know who they are. These fashion mavens know just what to wear and when to wear it, how to accessorize without looking like a walking flea market, and instinctively know just what hairstyles suit them. I hate girly girls. Okay, so that may be a bit harsh. I don't really hate them (most of the time). In fact, I'm rather envious. You see, I have the glamour sense of Joan of Arc.

You've heard that song, I Was Country When Country Wasn't Cool? That described me throughout high school. Blue jeans. Cowboy boots. Even ruffled western shirts. Heck. My horse, Waco, didn't care if I looked like a feminized version of Roy Rogers.

All hope was not lost, however, as I headed off to college. College was where you 'found yourself'. Discovered who you were and developed an individualized style. Unfortunately, since the style was still blue jeans (this time paired with tennis shoes and t-shirts) I made very little progress towards finding that elusive style.

Next came the time period I refer to as the dark age of dress. My years as a state trooper. I loved the job--was so proud to wear that uniform. But at a time where I should be learning how to put outfits together in a way that didn't scream 'clueless!", it was all done for me. The only input I had was my bra, panties, and brand of white t-shirt. (J.C. Penney's carried the best quality white t-shirts, by the way--the collars didn't stretch out like the cheaper brands.)

And there were the hair and jewelry issues to contend with. As you can see, in the picture my hair touches my collar. A no-no on duty. So, I had to either wear my hair 'butch' short--(I looked like a boy the first year) or pull it up under my Smokey Bear hat and go around with 'flat top' whenever I took my hat off. Ultimately, however, 'flat top' won out over 'butch'. But with someone else dressing me for success each day, I had little opportunity to work on this important skill.

Next came my job as an investigator with the Attorney General's Office where I finally got to try my hand at putting together the complete package of a professional woman (sans brown shirt and gun belt accessories). And then I got pregnant and my clothes selections were limited to what I could purchase off the rack at Des Moines Tent and Awning. And so it went.

Then, I sold some books. And had to look like someone who wrote books. And be able to get up in front of people and talk about those books. And attend writing conferences and workshops. And--OMG--wear a formal dress! I'd worn two long dresses in my entire life up to this point. One, in high school where I dropped a meatball on the top of my off-white ruffle and it rolled down the length of my dress leaving a trail of red sauce in its wake. And two, my wedding dress. And we won't go there. So, the idea of actually picking out a formal dress and jewelry to go with it and actually wear the thing almost paralyzed me. Still, I managed (with the help of good friends) not to embarrass myself too much at those events that called for a bit of sophistication and some glamour. Okay, so glamour may be stretching it.

But lately I've been feeling like ol' Bullet Hole here needs a big change. Maybe it has to do the gray hair I can no longer get away with referring to as 'natural highlights'. Maybe it has to do with being sick to death of winter and wanting something to perk me up. Maybe it's because I'm just sick and tired of looking at the same face in the mirror day in, day out. So, I've decided I need a radical change. I've worn my hair the same way since--well, since that trooper photo was taken. I'm just a little apprehensive. Several years ago I tried this. I told the stylist I wanted something different. Exotic. I left looking like a zebra who'd done the fork in the toaster number. So not what I meant when I suggested something 'exotic'.

But that won't dissuade me. For my birthday next month, I'm giving myself a makeover. I'm determined to try something new and dramatic. Make a statement that says, Bullet Hole's breaking out of her funk!

I just need one thing from you guys.

PLEASE! FOR GOD'S SAKE! TALK ME OUT OF IT!

~Bullet Hole~

20 comments:

Faye Hughes said...

Kathy,

I'm LOL here but, girl, I do know what you're feeling right now. You'll feel tons better after the makeover. What I do when I feel that way is to put myself into the capable hands of my stylist, whom I trust. (Of course, Christie Craig is my best friend and writing partner, so I have access to a lot of hats if the makeover doesn't work out. LOL.)

Best of luck and make sure you post pics when you're done!

Faye

Kathy Bacus said...

My son is convinced I should go with dark red hair and black highlights,Faye. Oh. My.

I think I'd better go hat shopping before I schedule my appointment. Just in case.

~Bullet Hole~

Gemma Halliday said...

Kathy, I've never seen you looking anything but fabulous. But... if you're feeling the need for change - go for it, girl! Just don't let the stylist talk you into anything too short and try to find one who has curly hair. I have the hardest time finding someone who understand that curls do not lay like flat hair. Has resulted in many interesting hair-dos.
And post after pics!!!
~Gemma

Kathy Bacus said...

Thanks, Gemma, for the styling tips! I know what you mean about the curls. I gave up long ago trying to tame them.

And I'll post a pic next month. If I'm wearing a hat in the pic--you'll know why...

~Bullet Hole~

Leslie Langtry said...

I LOVE that picture of you in your uniform - so awesome!

Christie Craig said...

Kathy,

Love the post girl. Jeepers, don't we all feel that way sometimes. I agree with Gemma, you always look great, but I can so relate to wanting a makeover. I'd like one that immediately took off 35 pounds, that would give me legs up to "there" and thick hair. (I'll even take curly hair! I know, Gemma, I don't know what I'm asking for, but . . ..)

I would think twice about taking your son's advice of going red with black highlights, but something new might be just want you need to help say good bye to winter. And hey...if you get in trouble, I'll loan you a hat.


Crime Scene Christie

Kathy Bacus said...

Thanks, Les. Those were the 'good ole days'!

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

I may take you up on the hat offer, Crime Scene. I still have a couple old trooper hats lying around that might work for around the house, but I'll need something special for when I go out in public if things go way bad in the stylist's chair.

~Bullet Hole~

Tori Lennox said...

Wow, I almost could have written this post myself! So to speak. *g* I desperately need a makeover too.

I think it might be easier if I could just find a new body....

Estella said...

I don't see anything wrong with your hairdo as it is(picture).
Why mess with something that seems to work?

Wendy said...

I think you should go brown! Really, maybe a light brunette I think would look great.

I can't remember the website (you can search for it though!) that has this program where you upload your picture and you can apply different hairdo's to see which would look good, try that. :)

Shel said...

A makeover will be fun - and if it goes horribly wrong, you will have a great blog post too! :-)

Good Luck!

Kathy Bacus said...

I'm actually thinking of starting a work-out program to go with my 'me makeover', Tori. I've generally just received my exercise through walking, but I think it's time for something a bit more drastic. There's a 24 hour fitness club just a few blocks away I'm thinking of checking out. Naturally, I'd go when no one else was around to see me sweat.

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

Thanks, Estella. I think maybe I just need a change. Change is good, right?

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

I've wondered about brown, too, Wendy, but always thought I needed to go lighter in spring/summer. Hmm. Maybe you have a point. I'll see what my stylist says...

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

If it goes horribly, horribly, wrong, I'll also have fodder for a future book, shel!

:)

~Bullet Hole~

Beth said...

Go for it! It's only hair. It grows. It can be colored. Too true about the curly hair. From an ex-hairdresser, find one who knows curly hair-even us straight haired people CAN cut curly hair. Find a friend, neighbor, strange lady on the street who has nice hair and ask where she goes. Bring a photo-and please make it realistic! If I had one more curly-headed girl in my chair w/ a picture of Jennifer Aniston I thought I'd kill myself! There are great magazines on the news stands that have nothing but hair styles. Find one that suits you. Even if you like the front of one style & the back of another-a pic is a HUGE help to your stylist. And remember... we up charge for attitude!

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Maybe one of us should nominate you for What Not to Wear? Not that I can see anything wrong with the way you look from your picture but those guys do seem to know what they are about when they are giving their victim fashion tips.

And $5000 doesn't hurt either :)

Good luck and can't wait to see pictures!

Kathy Bacus said...

Great advice, Beth! And from an expert, no less! You're absolutely right. Whatever I end up with, it will eventually grow out.

One of my daughters actually took a Jennifer Aniston pic in the last time she had her hair cut and styled. She has straight hair and the cut really looks great on her. My other daughter and one son have curly, curly hair. Neither of them care for it at all.

Thanks again for the tips!

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

What? A Disney 'Grumpy' Fleece set and fuzzy slippers aren't all the fashion rage, Jenyfer? I'm shocked. ;)

There have been times I've thought I should write in to Oprah for one of her makeover shows, Jenyfer. Maybe I'd have a better chance on What Not to Wear.

~Bullet Hole~