Killer Fiction

WINNER!!!

Leona, you won the $10 gift card to Barnes and Noble. Please send me your snail mail address to christie (at) christie-Craig (dot) com.
Thanks everyone for playing along.



Below is part of the special feature that Dorchester posted on their website. I'm running a contest on who can tell me why they think they could be a Christie Craig character. The winner will win a soft, cuddly bathroad and a copy of my book. (See a picture of bathrobe at the site above) And I've only gotten a few essays. So come on, send me those short essays, approximately 400 words, at christie(at)christie-Craig (dot) com

To read the rest of this blog go to: http://dorchesterpub.com/Dorch/SpecialFeatures.cfm?ID=2752

Ten Requirements for a Christie Craig Character

Note: Only the Bravest Need Apply



1) Flaws, Wonderful Fabulous Flaws

Yeah, I know some people think heroes and heroines need to be gooder than grits, perfection at its best, to be the cream that pops up in a pot of homemade soup. But I’m here to tell you that I’ll take a flawed character over the do-gooder every time. Why? Because perfection and do-gooders are boring as watching toenails grow.

I need someone who is too stubborn for her own good, Divorced, Desperate and Delicious, someone who can’t stop fidgeting, Divorced, Desperate and Dating, someone who holds grudges for over 20 years, Divorced, Desperate and Deceived. I need characters who speak before they think, who put their tootsies in their mouths so many times that they have footprints on the roofs of their mouths. I need someone who makes mistakes, but is then willing to pay for them, because I never give my characters a break.


2) Lots of Emotional Baggage

I need something to work with here. Did your ex get caught on camera playing pin the secretary to the elevator wall? Did your ex decide he made a better girl than a guy and start waxing and wearing your thong underwear? Did your ex toss you aside for an old fat woman who didn’t even have money? If so, let’s sit down and have a heart to heart, because you just might be my kind of character.

3) A Willingness to Compromise, Improvise, and Be Flexible

You need to know from the get-go that nothing is going to happen the way you plan it to happen. That’s not going to be chocolate in that Godiva box. And honey, if you find yourself in a bad situation, weaponless, don’t just stand there and be a victim, find something to use. What about that singing fish hanging on the wall? Hey, have you ever seen what a toilet tank lid can do a man’s head? And for Pete’s sake, if you find a dead guy in the Porta-Potty, just pick yourself out a tree to do your business.


4) Secrets—The Dirtier, The Better

Did your mama swap husbands more often than she changed purses? Is your mama a bit of a teetotaler and a hypochondriac—and in truth you’re a bit like her? Was your daddy’s ugly mug on the most wanted list for the FBI? Hey, are you not who you say you are, but you’re really an undercover FBI agent hiding out in the Witness Protective Program? If so, boy howdy, do I have a position for you.

5) Family You Don’t Mind Poking Fun At

Now, I don’t want you to be mean, because you gotta love these people, but let’s face it, I write humor, and I’m gonna need someone who I can use for comedic relief. Plus, if you are being upfront about being flawed, there’s a good probability that you come by it naturally. The wormy apple never falls that far from the tree, if you understand what I’m saying. Plainly put, if you don’t have someone in your family tree I can poke a little fun at, then I’m gonna have to have all my fun with you, and that can be a hard row to hoe.


10) A Willingness To Risk It All

At times, just saying alive is gonna keep you busier that a cat covering up crap on a marble floor. And it’s gonna get really bad because there’s going to be a lot of crap hitting right at the end. Don’t blame me, it’s another thing my editor insists on. He calls it a black moment, only sometimes it last a hell of lot longer than a moment. You might even think death is imminent. The thing is, happily ever afters don’t come cheap. You gotta work for them. But here’s the thing, the promise I make to you and all my readers, you will get your happy ending. You’ll find the love of your life and when it’s all said and done, it’s gonna make one hell of a story.

Also leave a comment today and I'll pick one winner to receive a $10 gift card to Barnes & Noble.