That's right! The kids go back to school today! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO! You know that commercial from Office Max or someplace like that where the dad is dancing around buying school supplies to the song listed in my title and the kids are trudging as though they are headed to their deaths?
I can really relate to that.
Don't get me wrong - I love my kids. But there's something to be said for the blissfull separation that textbooks and highlighters entail. Sigh. I'll have time to actually get some work done without interruptions like, "Mom! Where are the Oreos?" and "Mom! Have you seen my pen/stuffed animal/earrings?" and the ever-popular "Mom! Jack shot at me and I'm unarmed. Isn't that against the Genevieve Conversation or something?" (It is perhaps important to note that my kids play with TOY weapons. No angry e-mails please.)
I had this precious and heartwarming discussion with my children yesterday;
Me: Yay! School is starting! ISN'T THAT GREAT???
Jack: No.
Margaret: It sucks.
Me: Hey! Watch your language! And you're wrong. It's a miracle! A Christmas miracle!
Margaret: You are really enjoying this, aren't you?
Me: YES! And don't be a buzzkill sweetheart. It's very unattractive in a fifth grader. (begin signing "Heaven, I'm In Heaven...")
Jack: Why can't you homeschool us?
Me: (the singing stops and I actually frown, increasing my likelihood of crows feet) Why do you hate me?
Jack: I know two other kids who are home-schooled.
Margaret: Yeah! They get to stay home all day!
Me: Oh my little darlings! I send you off to school every day for your own protection.
Margaret: (cocking her head like the basset hound does when he thinks he's heard his name linked with the possibility of steak and cheese) Protect us from who?
Me: From me. If I had to home school you, you wouldn't live beyond a week.
Husband: (Passing through) Oh, I don't know, Hon. I bet you'd last a week and a day at least.
Me: (Shaking my head) Thank you for your confidence but it is completely unwarranted.
Husband: (while leaving the room) You may be right.
Kids: This sucks.
Me: Watch your language. Now, who's up for a school-supplies-shopping marathon? (Raising my hand and jumping up and down with glee)
Sigh. Memories that will last a lifetime...
The Assassin
I can really relate to that.
Don't get me wrong - I love my kids. But there's something to be said for the blissfull separation that textbooks and highlighters entail. Sigh. I'll have time to actually get some work done without interruptions like, "Mom! Where are the Oreos?" and "Mom! Have you seen my pen/stuffed animal/earrings?" and the ever-popular "Mom! Jack shot at me and I'm unarmed. Isn't that against the Genevieve Conversation or something?" (It is perhaps important to note that my kids play with TOY weapons. No angry e-mails please.)
I had this precious and heartwarming discussion with my children yesterday;
Me: Yay! School is starting! ISN'T THAT GREAT???
Jack: No.
Margaret: It sucks.
Me: Hey! Watch your language! And you're wrong. It's a miracle! A Christmas miracle!
Margaret: You are really enjoying this, aren't you?
Me: YES! And don't be a buzzkill sweetheart. It's very unattractive in a fifth grader. (begin signing "Heaven, I'm In Heaven...")
Jack: Why can't you homeschool us?
Me: (the singing stops and I actually frown, increasing my likelihood of crows feet) Why do you hate me?
Jack: I know two other kids who are home-schooled.
Margaret: Yeah! They get to stay home all day!
Me: Oh my little darlings! I send you off to school every day for your own protection.
Margaret: (cocking her head like the basset hound does when he thinks he's heard his name linked with the possibility of steak and cheese) Protect us from who?
Me: From me. If I had to home school you, you wouldn't live beyond a week.
Husband: (Passing through) Oh, I don't know, Hon. I bet you'd last a week and a day at least.
Me: (Shaking my head) Thank you for your confidence but it is completely unwarranted.
Husband: (while leaving the room) You may be right.
Kids: This sucks.
Me: Watch your language. Now, who's up for a school-supplies-shopping marathon? (Raising my hand and jumping up and down with glee)
Sigh. Memories that will last a lifetime...
The Assassin
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23 comments:
Really a nice post..! Back to school is the most wonderful time of the year.
Amen Sisters!
I am happy to say that my nine year old daughter said these exact words to me on the phone yesterday - "I can't wait to go back to school."
I should clarify and say she has spent the last ten weeks on a farm in the middle of no where in Arkansas. Really, entire county without a traffic light. We live at the beach so you can see how she suffers.
For me, I'm happy to have her back and happy that she's happy to be back, school or not! LOL!
PS: I can actually you picture you raising your hand and dancing around. Too funny!
You crack me up! I'm glad I won't have to pay as much day care, but now after school activities will start.
I've enjoyed the vacation from Girl Scouts, band, dance and all the homework. And I only have a 10year old in school.
I forgot about all the homework! Oh well. They can read now so how much do I have to do? Well, there is the checking part and when it comes to math I had to call my husband last year to ask what a prime number was...
You said it, Babe!!
My kiddo started his senior year (*sob*) last week and I couldn't be happier.
What is it about rugrats being home that throws off YOUR schedule?
And really, only a glutton for punishment would want to homeschool. j/k!
*ROTFLMAO* Oh, to be a fly on the wall in the Langtry household.
I'm so ready for my son to start school. Sigh. another couple of years. I can't wait!
No fair! I've got a whole week left before school starts. One. Long. Week.
~Gemma
Leslie, that's one of my favorite commercials of all time. Hilarious post!
LOL! I don't have kids but that's still one of my favorite commercials. *g*
I know! I especially love it when he bends in half facing the kids with a huge grin and behind him drops pencils into the cart. I felt like that two days ago when shopping for 1 CLEAR protractor.
Les
Oh, Leslie! I'm so jealous! I have five more friggin' days before my darling is back in school. Then it'll be Starbuck's and my wip!
(And it's Starbuck's because Badass Coffee closed earlier this year. And no, that's NOT a typo. God, I miss that place. *sigh*)
When I had school age kids, I felt the exact way you do.
Home schooling would be my worst nightmare unless we could play games and read all day lol.
Leslie,
Let me tell you it never changes as the get older. My son is 18 and I can't wait for College to start.
Thanks for the laugh.
Crime Scene Christie
You all need to stop whining. I have TWO FULL WEEKS before my gremlins go back to school!!!!
(Leslie, I'm jealous, and on the verge of sending my kids your way...)
Mine aren't at the hate-school-stage yet (thank heavens!). I'm sure at this point they're happy to be ANYWHERE besides stuck at home with me. Especially when all they ever hear me say is, "I'm working. I'm trying to work over here. What part of 'I'm working' are you having trouble understanding? Didn't you hear me yell, 'I'm working'!!!!!"
When my kids wet back to school, last week, I was over the moon with joy. I passed one of the moms I know and whispered, "I heard angels singing this morning!"
I'm a grandmother who is doing a few
happy steps (too tired to do the whole dance) after babysitting with
two of my grandsons for most of the
summer! I love my babies but I'm
getting more than a bit past prime!
Pat Cochran
My son attends year-round school so he has been back for three weeks. It's great, he get mini breaks throughout the year so I don't have that long summer stretch.
Elizabeth, I have to laugh because I don't know how many times I put my hand up and say, "Working! Don't come any closer! I'm working! Hello! Don't you have another parent around here somewhere? I'M !@#! WORKING HERE!"
This is hilarious. :) I also love that commercial. lol We have 2 1/2 weeks until school starts again, and I can't wait. Not for mine, because I do homeschool, but because all the neighborhood rugrats will be gone and our days will be quiet again. Yay!
I was in the US for 6 weeks and somehow managed to miss the commercial you are all talking about. But I still feel your joy - my kids go back to school in 6 days (yes, I'm counting) and I CANNOT WAIT!
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