There Goes Peter Cottontail! by Diane Kelly

No matter what your religious persuasion, I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend!

Easter weekend got me thinking. Well, actually, it got me singing. The hubby and kids weren’t too amused by my nonstop rendition of “Here Comes Peter Cottontail.” Yep, I’m tone deaf. But hey, I figure having to listen to my awful singing is payback for the fact that all of them got to sleep in on the Good Friday holiday and I had to get up at six a.m. to let the dogs out. Grrr….

At any rate, singing about Peter Cottontail got me thinking about the Easter Bunny, which got me thinking about beliefs and believability. While on my journey to publication, I entered many contests and worked with a couple of agents. While the vast majority of those who read my work loved the humor and crazy antics of my heroine, IRS Criminal Investigator Tara Holloway, occasionally I’d run across someone who noted that, although they enjoyed the story, things could never happen exactly as presented in my book.

My response? Of course they couldn’t!

Reality is dull. Boring. Predictable. People generally behave in the real world, restrain themselves from saying what they truly feel and hold back from doing risky, crazy things.

But where’s the fun in that?

When I got my first revision letter from my editor, she said how much she enjoyed my over-the-top humorous scenes and asked for more of them. I squealed in delight. She’d given me free rein to put in lots more funny scenarios! There’s nothing I love more than writing a totally wacky scene. And since my books are intended as pure entertainment, not a literary life-changing event, plausibility can take a back seat to fun.

That said, I have watched movies and read books where reality was suspended a bit too much for me and I just couldn’t buy into the story. I was a bit disappointed when the movie “The Firm” was released. Though the book followed proper legal procedures, as an attorney I was bothered by some of the legal inaccuracies in the film. My husband, who is a biochemist, didn’t enjoy “Jurassic Park” as much as I did because he had a hard time buying the alleged process by which the dinosaur DNA was extracted from insects preserved in tree sap and grown into actual animals.

For those of you looking for an entertaining read, I hope you’ll find my debut novel to be one. In book #1 – “Death, Taxes, and a French Manicure” – you’ll meet my heroine, Tara Holloway, a special agent for IRS Criminal Investigations. For her third birthday, her dad presented her with a BB gun. Being a daddy’s girl and having a gun nut for a father, Tara naturally became an expert marksman. She’s able to shoot with drop-dead accuracy, a skill that comes in handy several times throughout the story.

Is my story 100% believable? Probably not. But is it fun? People tell me it is.

Here’s a question for us to ponder: How plausible does a story have to be in order to engage a reader?

Diane Kelly’s debut novel, “Death, Taxes, and a French Manicure,” will be released on November 1st and is available for preorder now at the Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Borders websites.

Top Ten Signs You're a Writer on a Deadline - by Diane Kelly

I used to wonder why writers seemed to disappear when they were on a deadline. I assumed that if they simply managed their time better a deadline would be no big deal.

Boy was I naïve!

I just faced my first real deadline with book #2 in my Death and Taxes Series. I’m thrilled with my draft for “Death, Taxes, and a Skinny No-Whip Latte” and even finished a couple of days early. But I have to admit, I suffered momentary bouts of total panic. Basically, when a writer is on a deadline, everything – AND I DO MEAN EVERYTHING! – goes by the wayside until the project is completed. There’s simply not time to complete your project and live any semblance of a normal life.

Having compared my experience with other authors, I’ve come up with the Top Ten Signs You’re a Writer on a Deadline:

1) Your last three meals consisted of cold cereal, potato chips, and that unidentifiable sludge from the Tupperware in the back of the fridge.

2) Your kids are smiling mischievously because they’ve gotten away with something you didn’t catch them doing.

3) You can’t see the top of your desk, your coffee table, or any of your kitchen countertops because all of them are covered with neglected paperwork, laundry, and dishes.

4) Your toenails now resemble claws.

5) Your eyebrows have merged into one giant unibrow.

6) You’ve been wearing – and sleeping in – the same clothes for the past week.

7) You spray yourself with Lysol because it’s faster than showering.

8) Your legs now resemble a cave woman’s since there’s been no time to shave.

9) Even if you could find time to shower and shave, it wouldn’t matter because you’ve neglected to pay your bills and your water has been shut off.

10) Your husband hasn’t requested that you fulfill certain wifely duties due to #4 – #9 above.

When you get busy, what do you have to let go of? We'd love to hear it!

Diane Kelly is the author of the "Death & Taxes" humorous mystery series from St. Martin's Press. Her debut novel, "Death, Taxes, and a French Manicure", is available for pre-order now at the Amazon, Borders, and Barnes & Noble sites, and will be in bookstores November 1st.