Happy Birthday to My Hair...

 
                             September 2011                                                      Right now...

Winners from Christie Craig's blog: Abigail Beal, you won the $25 gift card. Cat, you won a copy of Forever and a Day by Jill Shalvis. Sally Felt, you won a copy of The Things Called Love by Susan Andersen. Barbara E. You won a copy of Lori Wilde's The Cowboy and a Princess. And Marilyn Lopez, you won the copy of Sophie Jordan's Lesson's of a Scandalous Bride. Please contact me at Christie (at) christie (-) craig.com



I'm 46 today. Sigh. Four years away from 50 - or as my kids tell me - death by old age. Looking back, I can see that it has been a good year, full of transition.

I finally feel like my writing is back on track and I'm learning more about marketing my work - I've embraced my new indie status. I LOVE that the books rejected by my agent for the past few years are possible to publish now. One's already up - and doing well. I can actually publish the stuff my agent and editor said were, 'too over the top,' 'too far fetched,' and 'no one should ever read that...ever!'.

My hair started out red and turned totally silver. 

I discovered that I'm descended from 4 people who came over on the Mayflower - only one was a Puritan, and one was hanged for murder. I discovered that on the other side of the family my ancestors settled at Jamestown. So I guess that means my people gleefully hopped aboard disease-riddled, leaky ships to go starve and be hunted by Indians in the New World.  I'd like to think I'm more evolved in my decision making than they were.  Oh yeah, and I'm way too lazy.

I discovered that my kids have turned out surprisingly well. They're both confident, athletic and musical. They speak up for the little guy and get along with everyone. They may even be funnier than me. I'm pretty sure there's a secret, dwarf nanny in the attic who has raised them this well - because I doubt I had anything to do with it. At all.

It'll be Mr. Assassin and my 23rd anniversary in November. We are now realizing we have to do something rather epic for our 25th in two years. I'm open to suggestions.  Make sure your suggestions involve sitting on a beach, sipping martinis and eating cake.  Other than that - anything goes.

And what do I have to look forward to in the next year?

Well, I hope to have at least three new books up by this time next year (REALLY weird stuff). Mr. A will be in Afghanistan for 9 months. I'm going to tear out the carpet and put in ceramic tile (not me, of course - someone 'qualified' will do it). We're finally going on a long anticipated trip to Disney World - our fourth as a family - Mr. A says we do this just for me because I have a 'weird obsession' with WDW.

So happy birthday to me!

The Assassin

Wild, Wacky Wisconsin, Wedux!

Wonce again, we went to Wild, Wacky Wisconsin for a Woadtrip!

It was a short vacation to Lake Geneva and Milwaukee, and it did not disappoint.  Here are a few of the highlights:

At the Animal Gardens...

The Accursed "Kittens for Adoption" Room.  Note the look on her face... This is a bad, bad place. Never take a teen girl there...

The statue of Romeo, the Serial Killer Elephant in Delavan, WI.  Over the course of his career, he killed 5 people.  When he died, they built a statue in his honor in Wisconsin. 

A very long sign devoted to a brick road.  You'd think it was made of human gallstones, unicorn testicles or something special to get a sign like this.  But no, it's just a brick road in a small town in Wisconsin.

REAL HARD EVIDENCE that brother and sister can still have fun together!!!  They will deny it - but this is proof that it happened!

According to my children, the MAIN reason for going to Wisconsin - Cheese Curds!  Sometimes, they had several orders as one big meal.  What?

Did you know flamingos bend this way? 

 My favorite - a bird who looks like a cartoon villain!  I want one!  I would name him Smedley.

My daughter thought this meant that, like Pat the Bunny, she could Pat the Jaguar... I actually toyed with slipping the zookeeper a twenty to see if it was possible.

Mr. Assassin and I were so excited!  A statue of Fonzie in Milwaukee!!!  The kids posed, then asked, "Who's this guy?"  Sigh.  Nick at Night has failed a generation.

At the restaurant - this was in the bathroom.  You touch the heart thingy and alarms go off.  Meg posed, then asked, "Who's this guy?"  I told him her grandma had this centerfold in her closet when I was a kid.  She said, "He's hairy. Gross."

 How was your vacation?

The Assassin

My Kid Went To DC And All I Got Were Weird Pictures…

So Margaret, my fourteen-year old, went on the 8^th grade trip to DC.  We gave her spending money and helped her pack.  All we wanted was to get a few pictures texted to us now and then.  She acted like we’d asked her to saw off her own legs and beat her cat to death with them…because apparently, we’re like that.

I think I used up six rolls of film on my Kodak Instamatic when I went to DC at her age.  She has a smart phone with a forward facing camera and 8,000 mega pixels.

We had to beg her for pictures.

Not even taken by her – but by her friend Betty.  This was the only picture we had of Margaret for two days.  I’d asked Betty, “How do I know you didn’t skip at the airport and aren’t in Mexico right now?”  Betty; “My phone wouldn’t have any bars in Mexico.” 

It took until Day 2 to get this:

Her: Some Random Guy.

Me: Um, okay, so why can’t you send me a picture with you in it?

Her: NO!  That’s WAY TOO HARD!

Me:  Says the child who could hack into the KGB with a cell phone. Boy, I’m glad I got you that expensive smart phone with the front facing camera…

Me, in front of a building

Her:  Fine.  Here you go.

Me:  Wow.  You might’ve outdone yourself there…

Her:  Thought you’d like this.

Me: What?  Why?

Why would I like this…the ibex equivalent of the Time Magazine cover on attachment parenting?  Cuz that is no baby…

Okay, this is just awesome.

Her: Apparently, this is Robert E. Lee’s face on back of Lincoln’s head.

Me: Only if Robert E. Lee was a muppet or severely deformed…  BTW – this is absolutely not true – it’s a myth.  What moron told you that?

Her: Our guide, who told us this.

Me:  You mean the moron who told you this.

Her: This is a panda’s butt.

Me:  You are the sweetest child ever.

You know what?  Turns out she might be a lot like me after all.