I need a vacation. Or I'll eat people. Or I'll be naked in the bell tower. Or I'll take hostages at the local Dairy Queen. I'm serious.
I haven't really had a vacation in 3 years. We've had a couple weekend getaways, but nothing where we're just sitting on a beach, or a mountain, or even a crappy hotel room, doing nothing with nowhere to be and not even a hint of housework to be had.
I would blame Mr. Assassin. He HAD to go to Iraq. I HAD to use up all my vacation time taking care of kids. Now I'm surrounded by friends who tell me they are going away for Spring Break. My boss is even going to spend a week taking care of elephants.
I came home from work Monday night with a plan. "We," I told Mr. Assassin, "are going on a family vacation the first week in June." I'm talking a resort with white sand beaches in Florida. And yes, fruity cocktails made of vodka and an orange wedge will be permanently grafted to my hand.
I told him that we could spend every day sitting on the beach, doing nothing. I showed him websites I'd selected and even the audio book playlist I'd come up with for the drive down there.
Mr. Assassin nodded, when I was through and said, "Sounds great."
Wait for it...
"But it can't interfere with the kids' camps and activities, can't interfere with our work schedules, and we have to be able to afford it."
My husband might "accidentally" have an "accident" in his sleep tonight. You'll know, because my Facebook status will go from "married" to "going on vacation."
The Assassin
now don't do anything rash. there are no beaches or cabana boys in prison (not that i'd know from experience).
ReplyDeleteHmmm...you have a point there.
ReplyDeleteKill him on paper, Leslie. You don't get in near as much trouble that way.
ReplyDeleteCC
As long as I don't have to have a vacation on paper!
ReplyDeleteOh oh oh!!! You should come to the Outer Banks. Cheaper, less humid that time of year, VERY relaxing. You could swing in a hammock ALL DAY.
ReplyDeleteAnd you'd be close enough for me to happen to be in the Outer Banks at the same time. (2 hr drive from my house, easy peasy.)
Or you can leave them behind and come to the M&M conference in late September. We can make sure there's a drink in your hand the entire time.
North Carolina's outer banks? Is it warm there now?
ReplyDeleteIt will be in early June. Actually, I often go down in May and it's already pretty nice. Light breeze, less tourists. The water is cold, but it's cold year round this far north.
ReplyDeleteYour kids would love Roanoke Island (live reenactors of a sort, and they could learn to make primitive weapons) or you can walk up to the peak where the Wright Brothers first flew.
Leslie, honey, screw the vacation with the husband and kids. Grab a girlfriend or go to Florida by yourself. Much more relaxing.
ReplyDeleteAnd you won't be hearing "Are we there yet?" all the way down.
I haven't been on a vacation in almost ten years. I agree, take a friend and go somewhere, even if only for a weekend.
ReplyDeleteTeri, sounds like heaven. I'll be knocking at your door tomorrow. ;) Okay, I won't. Suzan and Brandy - I'd take you with me!
ReplyDeleteThat scared me for a second there. I mean, you'd be welcome, but I was going to have to race home and clean like a crazy person. LOL!
ReplyDeleteTeri, you WOULD NOT need to clean for me.
ReplyDeleteUgh, but just kill him on paper.
ReplyDeleteAnd I second the suggestion of the Outer Banks.