What if Jane Austen had a submachine gun for an arm and an interest in total, global domination?
What if what we think is reality is actually just some blog written by a dendraphobic, nudist albino named "Steve?"
What if spider monkeys were really made up of hundreds of monkey-shaped spiders?
What are YOUR "what ifs?"
The best answer (meaning the one that makes me laugh so hard I weep tears of vodka) wins a galley copy of I SHOT YOU BABE. So hit me with your best shot. Fire away.
The Assassin
"What if I had taken that stripper/pole dancing class they offered back around Valentine's day at the strip club?"
ReplyDeleteWould that get my mom to stop saying I need to sign up for a "class of some sort" to meet a guy?
Can't wait to read I SHOT YOU BABE! Have a good one today.
OMG, I want that galley!!!!! Okay, I guess it's not really fair if I bribe you to win it, but I'll play the 'what if' game anyway.
ReplyDeleteWhat if men were the ones that had to give birth and women could pee standing up? Ah, the power...
~Gemma
What if the Earth really is a living thing and we're the parasite infestation she's trying to get rid of by turning up the heat and covering in giant amounts of white flea powder?
ReplyDeleteWhat would happen if people who blog, twitter or follow them actually had a clue? Or a life?
ReplyDeleteI's write more about this subject but I have to up date my blog.
Bye!
What if chocolate, cheetos, nachos and fried onion rings were diet food? Can you tell it's almost lunch time?
ReplyDeleteCC
What if we all danced to the music in Sanjaya's head?
ReplyDeleteThese are great guys! I'm going to have a tough decision to make. But you have until midnight so keep 'em coming!
ReplyDeleteWhat if my whole life is a virtual reality and I'm really just a computer AI? (A very boring virtual reality, I might add. *g*)
ReplyDeleteWhat if all the words I type into emails, blogs, and comments were actually expended on a writing project??? I'd have completed VOLUMES by now!
ReplyDelete:)
What if I wasn't switched at birth and I am related to these people?
ReplyDeleteThese are so great! And I'm so terrible so I'm not even going there!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to most of these. That's a good thing...I think.
ReplyDeleteWHAT IF The Royal Tenebaums was actually as funny as it's hyped? (Unfortunately it's not, but what if it actually were.)
ReplyDeleteWHAT IF I could actually ride in a car with a man, and he didn't comment about my driving? (Please note: I think he's totaled out his car a couple times. *I* have not been in an accident. Yet I am the bad driver.)
WHAT IF I loofahed Coney--and he came to life? (Hey, it's a pet dream.)
Oh, most frightening for me of all, what if I'm actually living up to my full potential, or worse, what if the guy I'm dating is? (Really, your life's ambition is to take over the world? Watch Pinky and the Brain much, do you?)
WHAT IF chocolate chip cookies were actually nutritious for us--and broccoli was bad? Would we all go around defiantly eating broccoli, hiding our addiction by eating broccoli in the closet or the car? Would we HATE to eat chocolate chip cookies?
Cannot wait until ISYB hits the stands! Woooooot!
What if Jack Bauer worked for Julius Caesar, tortured Brutus and nabbed all the conspirators before the Ides of March?
ReplyDeleteWhat if reincarnation is real and all those CEO's come back to a life where they lose everything!
ReplyDeleteWhat if our lives were stories in a book and all those books were real life.
What if that fly on the wall could talk. (because it had a head like Boris Karloff).
What if clothes were never invented!
What if that temporary tattoo isn't temporary? And who is Earl?
ReplyDeleteWow. this is going to be a bitch to judge. you guys should be writing these books!
ReplyDeleteWhat if when you do this, "(meaning the one that makes me laugh so hard I weep tears of vodka)," I were to hold a glass of orange juice under your chin?
ReplyDeleteWould that screw up the contest?
Or just drive you to drink?
What if you can't pick a winner? What happens then?
ReplyDeleteWhat if I kept making that face and it stuck that way.
ReplyDeleteI know we only had until midnight, but here's 2 more just for the fun of it.
ReplyDeleteWhat if there really was no "What if" contest and it was all an April Fool's Joke by Leslie?
And:
What if everyone really did have a double out there somewhere?
lol what if a thousand legger really had a thousand legs.
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